DS15 & DD11 why don't they like each other?

[quietlifeplease]

I was hoping that now they are both at secondary school thing might improve, but they are constantly knocking each other at every opportunity.DS is v intelligent, DD just happy to coast. But he is always picking at her! It starting to drive me insane.........Does anyone have any tips, short of buying some ear defenders I don't know what to do!

I have a 17yo DS and a 10yo DD and they argue all the time!

He teases the life out of her she annoys him when his friends are in, he will sit and stare at her till she screams at him, she will say things like "I've been in your room" (he hates anyone going in his room)

On and on it goes, but on her birthday last week he was nice to her and gave her a cuddle she told everyone that her brother gave her a cuddle and it was the best present ever

As much as they argue, fight and tease I know that they love each other really, it's normal, part of growing up and unless things get violent I would leave them to it as much as possible.

Oh and in case your thinking they will grow out of it, be prepared, my eldest 2 are 26 and 28 (both girls) and still bitch at each other occasionally, then both complain to me about the other.

Maybe by the the time they are in their 40's they will stop

I think ear defenders are a great idea, might get some myself

Thanks Maryz & MrsPresley, I am comforted to know that I am not on my on in this! I am thinking the least time spent together possible for the minute and then see how it goes.....But I cannot be involved in what goes on at school. They will have to sort that out between themselves.

They're teenagers - that's just what happens. They'll probably start getting along like a house on fire once one of them moves out or goes to uni

Eldest DD is 21 and youngest is 14 - they can be thick as thieves one day and loathe each other the next. Youngest borrows things without asking and hogs the tv which riles up the eldest, eldest is a clean freak (not in her own room, I might add, which is a tip) and that gets on youngest's nerves. They wind each other up something rotten, but after ignoring each other for a few days they flip and you won't find them apart! We tend to stay as uninvolved as possible unless one of them is being completely unreasonable about something and then we'll get involved. It's important to remain impartial as much as possible - let them fight their own battles. Looking forward to eldest leaving home (meant to be in the NY) as hopefully youngest will start wanting to visit her and we'll get a night or two off

Probably a dumb question, but are you sure it's both of them? From the way you described it, it sounds like your DS is picking fights with your DD. If so I bet she's sick of it too!

Ds1 16 and dd 13 are like this. It comes from ds, he glares at her, puts her down, sneers at her when she speaks. We reduced the stress a bit when he went to boarding school! I did notice during the summer holidays it was happening less and hope and pray that they will be best of friends one day.

Dd and ds2 11 have an easy, happy relationship thankfully.

Ds1 when asked has said he wouldn't like to be an only child but doesn't realise how harmful his behaviour is and when told off feels he is being picked on.

My dsis and I would never have behaved like that in front if our parents we would have been killed!! I frequently tell my dc that.

Mine are 11, 13 & 16. We have two rules:

• They are NOT allowed in each others rooms without permission. We enforce this very strictly
• They HAVE to be polite to each other which means 'pleases' and 'thank yous'. We enforce this very strictly

Everything else we work out on a day to day basis.

Works for us.