'Oh I'll be gone in 3 or 4 years mum'

[Ormirian]

Said DS1 on Saturday. We were shopping and noticed that a particular shop was closed down. I reminisced in a slightly soppy way about buying him a power ranger toy there once - with some money he got for his 4th birthday and said 'Just think, in another 10 years you'll have left home'. To which he replied as above.

Now he's only 14 so I think it unlikely but it made me heart lurch. It won't be that long till he's gone It flies past doesn't it? I am just starting to really enjoy his company too.

My dd is approaching 15 and I feel this rapidly heading for us too. I don't think she will stay much beyond 18, if that.

Their childhood does go so fast, but as they get into teens then it really starts going faster than anything. I'd give anything for a rewind button - or at least pause!

Pause I think lubey! Life is much easier now than it has been since they were babies. And I like their company more now. I'd like to be able to enjoy this bit for a while.

dh's brother said similar to pil. He's still there age 45!

Hmm... I think 30 years would be a bit much even for me prof!

DS1 says the same to me and while i love that he's excited when thinking of his future, he's only a baaybeeee

this is what i reminded ds, 16, who asked for a dog!!

My two girls are 14 and 18, I dread the day they move out

My dh seems to have a more positive approach and saysthat although he will miss them it will be a new phase in our lives. He says we will be able to have 3 holidays a year and can move into a small 2 bedroom apartment which will be easy to maintain.

I'm not at all convinced and quite enjoy the magazines, nail polish and general clutter that the girls cause!I love talking to them and taking them out for a girlie lunch, I hope we still get to do that once they have moved out.

God, I'm suddenly all depressed

I'm looking at DS1(15) now and thinking he will soon be gone. Mind you I felt like that when I moved his cot out of my bedroom when he was six months

Realistically I don't suppose they will come back to live here when they leave uni. I will be a very sad empty nester.
We were together 20 years before DCs so did all the travelling stuff before.

i try not to think about it tbh. i will always be their mum.

DD1 (15) told me she would move out at 16 a couple of years ago.
Thankfully now she has realised there is no way she will be able to afford to live so is staying with us until she finishes Uni.
I'm glad, even though we barely have any space, I don't want my baby growing up that fast

Oh DH is quite sanguine about it.

Bastard!

I've been there with DS1 - I think the worst of it was the gap year travels; sending him off for 6 months around third world countries. I don't think I really slept during that time; I was frazzled.

After that him being a few hours up the road at Uni was a doddle - and I always knew he'd be home for holidays. Then he graduated and got a job in another city and moved out properly - and it was very hard, but by that stage he was so ready for his own home, his own life, that it just seemed a natural progression. I sort of felt that I'd done my job, and I'd done it well.

And since then we probably communicate better than we ever did in the sullen teenage years - regular emails, texts, calls. I still fret about him, but it's OK. Panic not :).

Are you a lot better off than most then ?
Because realistically the majority of todays teens won't be able to AFFORD to move out so quickly!

I have 4 teens and the older three are technically old enough to live away but there is not a hope in hell where I live (Oxfordshire) of them being able to even rent a 1 bed place! My eldest is at Uni and probably won't come home again permanently when she has graduated as she is doing medicine and will ,ove to wherever she gets her F1 year. DD2 is also going to uni so fingers crossed there too, but my DS1 who is 18 would love to be independent but has just left school and is trying to find a full time job (works p/t) and at the mo even flat share is totally out of his reach:(

I have visions of him being home a while yet.. (not that I mind, I don't want them to go at all!) tho hopefully not til he is 30!

Ah medusa! The realities haven't sunk in with DS yet. I am not sure how he sees this working out but i he has a vision of living in a sort of jolly messy heap with all his friends, X-Boxes, guitars, drum kits and amps. Eating pizza and not washing. But squalor costs!

I was just a bit shocked that he even thought he would leave so soon. It seems to have rushed up and bitten me on the arse....

I'm kind of assuming that once ds goes to Uni in two years he'll gradually stop coming back in the holidays once he gets serious girlfriends etc and will then rent somewhere independently.

I'd like him to stay with us for longer but he yearns to go and work in the States and we won't be able to stop him.

durham - I'm with you - mine are 15 and 13 - the teenage girl thing (at the moment) is quite good fun and I'm going to miss them - mind you don't have boyfriends to contend with yet! I do have a 9 year old boy as well but I reckon that'll be a whole different ball game.

DS1 is sitting in his bedroom playing 'All along the watchtower' on his guitar. He's funny, kind, clever and talented (most of the time!) and I really hate that fairly soon I am going to have to say goodbye to all that - I put up with he frigging homework, the soiled underpants when he started school, the arguments about everything, the refusal to eat crusts and veg and just as he starts to be good company he wants to bugger off. Seems unfair.

hattymattie the boyfriend thing is stressful but you get used to it by the time they are 18. Me and dd2 rate dd1's boyfriends. We spare no critisism but dd1 takes it all in good humour!!
She has a lovely boyfriend at the minute, he hasa job supporting disabled children, he plays in a rock band, he is funny and kind to dd2 (some have treated her as a bit of a pain in the past). dd1 came home last night and said "Mum, I'm just not feeling it anymore, I might suggest we break up and just stay friends!" I was gutted but have to remember it has to be her choice not mine

[durham] - good plan on rating the boyfriends - I'll remember that one. I do seem to remember my mother saying - just when you get fond of them they split up.

Don't worry prematurely. We are finding the uni bit rather good, 8 weeks on our own (DS2 spends lots of time with his girlfriend) to do what we want followed by DS 1 home for a few weeks of intelligent conversation, family activities etc. I am worried about how little we will see of DS1 when he leaves uni and starts work, most of my friends with slightly older children try to still have a short family holiday for all of them.

Our lovely DS1 is enlisting in the RAF at the end of the month. 4 weeks and a couple of days, and counting. For all this has been about a year in the application process, I can't believe how quick it has come around. He has had a delay for medical reasons, was due to go in May, so we have had an extra few weeks 'grace', but it's still a huge step starting work and leaving home all in one go at 17, no matter how much he has matured over the last couple of months - which is quite a lot. He has a lovely girlfriend, who he thinks is 'forever', but once the long separations kick in we'll see.

I will miss him like mad and I know I will cry all the way home from taking him down to his training base but at the same time we are so, so proud that he has achieved his dream and hope that he grasps this with both hands and really runs with it and makes a fantastic life for himself, wherever that may be!! My little boy