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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What do you make of this?

18 replies

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 18:46

"You stabbed me in the back you bitch
You drove everyone away
And still you havent made it better
But today is the worst day

I'll stand alone while you laugh at me
It;ll only lead to tragedy
Your followers are laughing too
But Im through with them and after you

Yeah thats right Im out for revenge
Im sick & tired of sitting on the bench
You got it right Im after your world
Im not waiting around for my life to unfold

Everyone's stabbed me in the back
What harm can one more do?
A lot of harm is what Im telling you

You lied, you bitched, you took my life away
But then you promised it would be ok
You scarred me deep
Now leave me be, so I can forever sleep"

Now, what do you make of that?

OP posts:

moondog · 17/10/2005 18:50

Teenage angst
There's been a big falling out with another girl and her gang
Last line a little worrying but depends entirely on context
Is she a melodramatic type and otherwise generally happy?

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 18:57

she does appear quite moody at the moment but to be honest i dont know when she wrote this which is also worrying. I too am worried sick by the last line and dont have a clue who she could possibly be the focus of all this. She's very much into all this metal and rock music which is too "dark" in my opinion but hey Im 37! I get hte feeling she is not happy but dont know whether this is just typical teen stuff. Why is there no where to train parents in the works of teenagers

OP posts:

moondog · 17/10/2005 18:59

How old is she?
Can you talk with her?
Read the other day that with reticent teenagers Big Talks should be done in the car.No eye contact whjich makes it easier.
Did you find the poem while snooping????

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 19:11

no not snooping - tidying her tip of a room!! in a book on the floor

OP posts:

jollymum · 17/10/2005 19:38

Maybe have a chat and if that provokes the "you were never young/had sex/alife" speech, try leaving a note. Ask her to write back, that poem if her own work was pretty impressive! Ok, I'd be worried too but sometimes teens write things down, go all dramatic and forget stuff. She does sound like there's problems with another kid/gang, maybe quiet enquiry at school? HTH, I've got two teens BTW!

3PRINCESSES · 17/10/2005 20:00

Are you sure she wrote it? It's not some lyrics for a song far too trendy for mums?

If she did write it, maybe she's just sort of exploring the kind of emotions and way of expressing them that her kind of music is about? Know it must be worrying-- I'll be there myself in a year or two, and I'm pretty scared already.

Passionkiller · 17/10/2005 20:06

Are you sure she wrote it, it sounds like song lyrics to me.

Not sure what I'd do in your shoes though, mine aren't old enough yet. I think I'd probably front up to her and ask her about it.

If she did write it it's pretty impressive.

colditz · 17/10/2005 20:07

Is she involded with a band at school at all? My mum was in exactly the same situation with my teenage sister last year... turns out she was writing lyrics for her band, which she plays guitar for!

Tortington · 17/10/2005 20:16

i think its really good - i would be very proud if my son could write anything half as coherent as that.

i 'd frame it.

RottenRhubarb · 17/10/2005 20:24

I used to write out song lyrics when I was a teenager so I could learn them and then belt them out dead loud!

But if she did write it, I wouldn't question her 'cause she'll never tell you. Why not suggest that you both watch a good DVD together with some munchies. Do a bit of bonding, make her feel good, a shopping trip even, perhaps she'll open up then, perhaps not. Teenagers are generally dark and melodramatic, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just try setting some time aside for her every now and then.

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 21:21

we actually went shopping after school today into town to buy her some new clothes but she turned her nose up at every shop we passed. Then had a go at me because we were late getting home for her to get ready to go out to a Lush party at her friends house. She stormed out of hte car at her friends but was happy when I went to collect her again. This group of friends is a "nice" group as opposed to her main group of friends who are into rock etc and although nice think of themselves as "cool" and hip. I feel that when ellie spends time with them she is more miserable than when she hangs out with her "girly" friends. I desperately need some guidance with ellie

OP posts:

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 21:21

OP posts:

startingtobehalloweenylover · 17/10/2005 21:31

this is probably SO not what you want to hear, but i used to write things like that and i ended up on a psych ward after a suicide attempt.

sorry to be blunt, but I don't think that saying it's just teenage angst is necessarily a help!
Yes, it may well be... but there is a slim chance that she may be going through a really rough time.

I think if my mum had asked me what was wrong and made me feel I could talk to her then I wouldn't have got to the suicide bit....

Just let her know that she can tell you anything, that you won't be cross... that you are there for her and would do anything for her...

freakyzebra · 17/10/2005 21:36

Would it work, SkinnyCow, if you said
"I was tidying your room and I found this on the floor and it disturbed me. Did you write it? Are you feeling especially upset about something?"

And let her tell you as much or as little as she wants?

I don't have a teenager, I just wonder if a direct simple "I'm here to listen" approach might lift your worries or give her a chance to talk (if she does need to).

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 23:01

she would be mortified if she thought id seen it - she never likes me looking at her school work either - it stems her creative juices or something if she thinks i'll be looking at it.

Since she's come home she has been in a great mood. We've had a chat (not mentioned the poem)about things at school etc. She does feel a bit of an outsider sometimes and feels her usual "cool" group go off and leave her. Ive explained that most 12 year olds are quite selfish and insular and probably dont even give it a thought if they've left her behind. She is quite shy and not "in your face" so would find it hard to just join in if she thinks people have gone off without her. Admittedly not helped by the fact that one of her group had a party and then only invited ellie because someone else couldnt come nor a party in the summer when the rest of the group were invited to sleep over at the hosts house but ellie wasnt.

She agrees that she does have more fun when she's with her girly (tonights party) friends but feels she doesnt quite fit with them either as she isnt too girly herself. She has agreed that she'll try to hang out more with the girly group and maybe invite one or two over after school etc or shopping as she did have a great time tonight.

Times like this I really miss my mum to talk to

OP posts:

startingtobehalloweenylover · 17/10/2005 23:04

it sounds like you've had a nice chat with her tonight SC, which is good!
it's great that she can talk to you and tell you how she feels
encourage her as much as you can to spend time with the "nice" friends...

Original poster

skinnycow · 17/10/2005 23:10

starting......lover.

she doesnt always open up to me though. I have suggested a proper shopping trip at the weekend whereby we can look properly for clothes that would suit her and we'll have some lunch and stop off at Starbucks too for coffee.

OP posts:

startingtobehalloweenylover · 17/10/2005 23:13

yeah but she knows she can if she wants to, which is the important bit!

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