Just for fun - if your small pet went on a reality show ......

[FernieB]

Which one would they go on? (I've been watching too many recently )

Current Bun has always stopped everything to watch cookery shows (so did previous bun - is this a rabbit thing?), so he'd go on Masterchef. He wouldn't make it past the first round though because of his refusal to cook/handle meat, fish, dairy or carbs.

Gingerpig would go on Strictly because of his constant popcorning - would do brilliantly on fast dances (jive, quickstep, charleston etc) but be rubbish on the slow dances and be voted off about week 6.

Scruffypig would be good on The Apprentice. His constant wheeking would persuade people to buy so he'd have the best sales figures and give the best product pitches. He'd go all the way through to the interview stage when he'd argue with everyone who challenged his over exaggerated CV and be fired for his aggression.

Ginnie the g'pig (not my name for her) would go on the Voice. She has a particularly loud penetrating squeak.

The pygmy bearded dragon - hmm, not sure - maybe "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"? He's a bit fond of eating bush tucker.

GP6 (our lovely but not overly sharp boar) would be a TOWIE candidate.
Bit whoar, bit of a lad. Lovely teeth and unusual for a guinea-pig, blue eyes.
Likes a chat with the ladies and monogomous to 2 wives (that's polygomous I think )

The sows GP4 and GP5 would be Real Housewives of Somewhere.
Unmarried mothers made good when they hitched up with lonely batchelor GP3.
Left their babies behind and had their collective eyes on GP3 (gold-diggers that they are)

Then when he shrugged off his mortal coil, they inherited the lot.
Decided they needed a Man About the House (that's another show entirely ) and brought in GP6., Young, Jaffa Boar About Town.

Actually, they should be on Jeremy Kyle .....................

Thumb - I think the bearded dragon may have an unfair advantage on 'I'm a celeb' - he'd definitely win.

70 - when you describe their lives that way, I'm shocked they haven't already been on JK and failed several lie detector tests - ("honestly I didn't eat the last bit of cucumber and I don't have two wives")!

My girl rats would be on Jeremy Kyle or a similar show, the five of them are driving me mad at the moment, constant squealing, squabbling and pinning each other.

And the old lady had gone smile and thinks that the big fat girl is a baby and forcibly drags her and the others back to her nest at the moment she might drag supernanny into it in the vain hope of making them behave

I'm not sure about the boys though!

I see your RatBoys on one of those "Cowboy Builder" programmes where you put them in their perfectly nice Rathouse and they go all Dom & John and wreck the place with virtual sledgehammers.
Then before the end of the hour , they've organised it to their liking and relax in a heap.

Your female rat Oreo (because it is the Best name ) is the comely Melinda Messenger character.

GP1 loves sunbathing so would be 'a place in the sun'. GP3 loved exploring new tunnels and boxes but also loves running in the garden so i think he'd prefer ' escape to the country'.

Ha! She really is, once she's or if the cage she is so cuddly! And Oreo is totally a good name ;)

Ashi is totally a destroyer, he can destroy a cat food box in a few hours, completely destroy it I mean! Howl and Haku are more the big mover types, if the moving toilet is anything to go by

Sadly Haku died on Monday. He had a retrobulbar abscess and died at the end of an op to remove his eye, absolutely gutted :(

So sorry, Rattie - poor Haku. :(

Thanks Thumb He's probably pissing around at the Rainbow Bridge power grooming everybody there!

I've had another though about my boys, I think H&H would have been a great duo on most haunted. Howl would be charging forward adventuring the unknown whilst Haku would be behind, pretending to be all brave and mighty but screaming like a banshee every time he heard a knock or bump. And Ashi would be Derek Acorah, bullshitting about everything and genuinely believing that he was right

Rattie so sorry for your loss RIP Haku

My guineas would go on OCD cleaners. They honestly don't know how piles of poo get everywhere, get stressed and have to run away and stare at a wall when the hutch is cleaned out. They like the finished result. Then when the camera crew had gone, they would bugger it up again.

Sorry to hear about Haku Rattie

Fortified, I think my boys could go on the OCD cleaning thing. The pigs would be the ones with the messy house - hoarded piles of poo, wee puddles, ends of celery etc. Current Bun would go in and tidy them up and show them how to keep everywhere clean (his house is immaculate - makes my kitchen look awful in comparison)