Right fash-hags, structured/opulence needed...

[WilfSell]

Can't really wear skinny jeans (too fat). But need wonderful one off bling tunic/dress for Christmas [all those parties, sigh ]

Have been wasting money buying lots of crap; now need to spend more but something that will flatter and skim and hold and look MARVELLOUS AND CURRENT.

Can't do clingy; needs firm tailoring perhaps. Floaty would do if skimming but a bit too girly really.

And I am an absolute weeble (is that one of T&S's shapes?) so please DON'T suggest leggins and a bubble shaped top (conical legs are not a good look).

Happy to pay more for brilliance, but bear in mind that most properly expensive shops don't do above a 14 16 and I will need 18 16 depending on the cut.

Yes - like that one too. I don't want to sound ungrateful for your sterling efforts. But, really, the only bits of me that are good are face and collar bones. The rest is sausage. There's no hope is there?

I need more bingo wing coverage, calf coverage, and either structured tailoring or very clever foldage/shape. Lots of those dresses ARE lovely but I can't do legs either. I hinted but wasn't explicit. Will need overdress-tunic/trousers probably...

God, I need a diet expert help.

if you are desperate to cover up, how about this tunic with black wide legged trousers and some fuck-off heels in a bright/metallic colour.

How about a black velvet jacket (this is really lovely and would flatter your shape M&S 125 years jacket with black trousers, a cami and a really fabulous 'statement' necklace to show off those collar bones and set off your face?