Help needed QUICK!!!

[stanausauruswrecks]

Oh God, I have a 40th birthday party to go to this weekend, and I have NOTHING to wear Please can you help?
My excuses for being so pathetic and useless about getting it together are that I have a 15 week old baby who is feeding every 3 hours, a 3 year old who is impossible to go shopping with, and to top it all between the two of them, they've had chicken pox for the past 2 weeks, so have been in isolation and DH has been working like a bugger, so I've had no-one to leave the little one with.
I'm 5'5, pear shaped with enormous bf norks (think 36G at their fullest) size 14 top and 16 bottom. Colour wise I'm very pale with dark hair and blue eyes (and massive bags underneath!)All suggestions gratefully recieved

bump trying to avoid looking like any of this lot-especially Jane Mc donald

have you anything at all in your wardrobe atm that fits?

black trous? dark jeans? shoes?
much easier to buy a fab new top than a whole new outfit

I have one pair of black linen wide legged trousers that I can get into...am ok with strappy tops as have a few shrug type things I can wear to hide bra straps (no way these beauties would be held in place by a strapless number!)
Was also thinking of a new skirt /top combo as it tends to hide enormous thighs suit my shape better