Style gurus - I need YOU!

[noideawhattowear]

I have 2 winter weddings to go to and am clueless what to wear.
I often end up buying something that looks weddingy and not at all "me" and then notice that everyone else is wearing stuff that is funkier/bohemian but still posh enough.

One wedding will be quite arty/creative types and not too formal, the other will be quite traditional and I suppose quite formal.

Is it ok to wear black? Can I wear boots?

I am 41, big size 14 and 5'5", pale with longish light brown hair. I hate looking really mumsy and frumpy.

There are loads of little dresses around, but they are all above the knee/skimpy which wouldn't be great on me.

I like purple, grey, blue, berry/plum shades, some green, black. I don't do bright red, orange, yellow. Not wild about big pattern.

I might need to get a great new coat/jacket, but only if it's something I could wear again. I don't do proper high heels (but can do high boots, wedge or very chunky heel).

I have seen lots of those drapey/wrap style dresses - are they a good idea or not formal enough for the posher do?
How do I do skirt and top combo with style?

OK, that's my challenging brief - please help!!

I'm off out to look at (all the wrong) stuff now!!! Will check in this evening!!

A shopping advisor at John Lewis or Debenhams etc would be best I think. It's so hard offering style advice to someone you haven't seen.

Instead of black, would you maybe go for a nice chocolate brown cardigan and a smart dress with a nice hat from Accessorize. that's what I'd go for!

Ooooohhhhh no no no - that all sounds very mumsy weddingy!

Haven't time now but will try and find you sonething funky and cool later - I hate hate hate going to weddigs and seeing everyone in their pretty florals and their hats/fascinators - just so uncool and so un me and everyone else under 50!

Right - Quickly - this with thick black tights and black wedges for the arty one.

And one of these - this, here, again with tights and wedges.

or this that you could wear to both of them?

And that is only one site - I could do this all day.

Look at All Saints too - I have worn a couple of thier dresses to weddings and my best freind described me - both times - as the girl that you are too intimidated to talk to because she looks so cool! (That is about the nicest thing in respect to clothes anyone has ever said to me - but I am terribly shallow!)

Sorry Plumo website a nightmare - first dress - Loop, second Thea.

Capucine or Afternoon Tea DRess you could wear to both - hair up with a nice thick necklace for the tea dress and black tights and high wedge shoes.

Ooh, I can't see your links properly MadameC - just the general home page. Looks nice though - providing you are about size 8, around 23 and look like a Pre-Raphaelite model...

Names of the dresses are above - you don't have to be thin or young just not have slipped into ther rut of thinking you have to dress like an oldie!

thank you for replies - i have walked my feet off today!
I haven't seen the plumo site before - looks great - thank you.

Do you really think black is a no-no?

Again I found myself looking at "weddingy frocks" - then I just tried to say - is this something you really want in your wardrobe?

Jigsaw had some nice things. Not cheap though!

Any other thoughts anyone?

Madame C, the names aren't listed on the homepage - lots of those clothes look gorgeous but I'd love to know which ones you mean!

I wear black more often than not to weddings - never thought of it as a problem!

OurLady - there are about 5 dresses on there which I would say are probably ok for weddings - you probably have yo click on them to bring the names up though.

All depends what kind of a wedding it is. Will there be dancing?

I would hesitate to wear black to a wedding ceremony. (If I was only going to the evening do I wouldn't be quite so hesitant.) But I never buy a "wedding-y" outfit - very rarely buy an outfit just to attend a wedding, more likely to raid my wardrobe for something I already like.

I am of similar dimensions to the OP. A V neck is the most flattering - I don't go for big cleavage at weddings. And I have rediscovered my legs lately - somehow a shorter skirt - by which I mean just above the knee - makes me look slimmer. Personally I hate anything that's strappy/ sleeveless on the top half - I do sometimes wear a long cardi (quite fitted) over the same colour and same length dress, or a lacy (mohair) cardi, knotted just at bust level over a simple dress.

A low heel - something I can walk and dance in (will never forget torture of having to walk down long gravel path from hotel to marquee wearing strappy high heels, standing for most of the evening and dancing as well).

Sorry I don't have any links to offer - I wear a lot of Boden but maybe it's a bit too recognisable to want to wear to a wedding? They would do a good skirt/ top/ cardi combo though.

how about this its nice and purple a colour you like

www.next.co.uk/viewLinkedItemImage.asp?b=X44&p=80&i=480-742-X44&s=3&imagename=content.next.co .uk/co-uk/items/X44/shotview/54/479-659-X44s.jpg

or coast where i tend to buy my wedding outfits from

www.coast-stores.com/

Stay away from Coast - that is where everyone gets their wedding outfits from - that is why at 2 weddings I have been to girls have had the same dresses on - and they were from Coast!

My MIL wears comfy low heeled sandals and dresses with the same colour lacey cardis knotted at bust level and she is in her 70s! Please don't go down the road of dressing like someone a lot older than you already!

thanks, some good points here!

I do hate the thought of ending up looking 50! There are some lovely print dresses around but I'm sure on me they'd look mumsy.

I'll probably end up with some sort of wrap/cardy/shrug/bolero type thing as so many dresses seem to be sleeveless and actually the ones with sleeves make me look more frumpy.

Men have it easy - suit - done!

how about some of bravissimo's dresses?

Velvet is supposed to be fashionable this winter and would be great for a winter wedding. Green or berry velvet would be great. Boots would look fine with the right dress - and could have chunky heels and still be quite elegant.

I would be thinking, if the weddings are in December or later, of waiting till the sales - which might start in Dec, or there might be some early ones.