could i get a little help with reinventing myself please??

[mad4mybaby]

ok. so. im 27 5'3 and currently about 8st9. I have a 2.6 ds and an 11 week ds. I dont look my age (and yes i should be greatful i know) but im feeling down on how i look and not sure where to start.

pre pg i weighed 8 stone and was a size 8 which i really want to get back to. Before anybody starts saying they wish they were my size/weight i KNOW its better than alot of people but i have self consious issues that im trying to reduce esp as i have pnd for the 2nd time although dealing ALOT better with it this time. ds1 goes to preschool 2 afternoons a week. ds2 is very poorley ad the mo and has reflux and on meds and doesnt sleep for very long (about half hour each time) and currently seeing paed. DH works long hours and often works abroad so i dont get alot of time to mysel and life is quite a struggle. ds1 doesnt nap at all and very active. I currently dont do any excercise other than running round looking after ds's/trying keep house tidy

try my best to get out and about as much as poss but im not prepared to put ds2 in creche until his jabs are done (first 3 lots) and he is too poorley for me to leave at creche anyway plus they wont medicate children.

i generally wear jeans (quite flattering i think) and normally long sleeve tshirts and i wear a coat obviously but it is a 'bench' black jacket with a hood that i bought pre kids and feel this doesnt help with looking slovernly/younger. are there any coats out there suitable for preschool run (with hood) that will make me look more my age?? Feel very paranoid when im out as ALOT of people tell me i dont look old enough to have 2 boys so young and that im married! I know i should see as a compliment but i dont at the moment

sorry this is so epic....i dont eat a great deal.. which isnt good i know but struggle to prepare healthy food when i have ds2 screaming in pain alot of time. So.... can anyone help me meal plan aswell? That is also a struggle as ds1 cant have dairy/soya/egg and im vegetarian so struggle to get meals we can all eat that are quick and healthy. any suggestions there? Hmm what else.. oh i have long wavyish hair which i have to wash if i wear it down and generally leave it to wave itself... make up wise i NEVER go out with out any but i am trying to cut down on time so am trying to find a good tinted moisterisor and under eye concealer and lip gloss that isnt sticky!

please be gentle with me!

Bumping this for you while I have a think!

I just spent ages typing a really detailed reply and my PC went strange. So I will precis.

Exercise- fit it in (a really fast walk) when ds is at nursery. Do weights in the evening, or sit ups, when both are in bed

Coats-LOTS of threads about this in Style and Beauty recently, have a search. DItto Meal planning (but in Food!)

hair-I think a wavy layered bob might update your look and mean you can wear up or find it easier to style when down.

Make up- No 17 do some great non sticky lipglosses,and I rate No 7 or Rimmel for Tinted Moisturiser etc.

Wow, you have a lot on your plate, well done for even etting dressed in the morning, especially if you dh is avay so much.

When I read your post, it could have been written by me a few years ago, I was in a very similar place!

Firstly, ds1 had terrible reflux as a baby, he was on all kinds of meds, but what actually cured the reflux was a cranial osteopath, so I'd really recommend trying this. That was 10 years ago, and my gp thought I was crazy, but now I think it's very widely recognised as a successful threatment for reflux. See if you can find someone locally who works with babies. If you can get some sleep you'll feel much better about yourself, and life in general.

Secondly, I hate to sound like my mother when I say this, but you need to eat to be able to keep up with it all, particularly as a vegetarian. When my first two were little I had a tendency to live on toast and lucozade, so no wonder I felt terrible. Try a bowl of porridge for breakfast, I do it in the microvave with a handful of frozen raspberries, and milk, and it's supprisingly good, and really keeps me going all morning. Milk is great for protien, allow yourelf a hot chocolate mid morning or afternoon, and I find a great thing to have in the cupboard when I don't have the time or energy to eat is a can of protien power milkshake stuff. You get it in the health food shop, comes in different flavours,mix with milk. It's not a gourmet meal, but it's agreat source of protien which will help you keep going.

Totally agree with you on having a good coat, it's an easy way to look smart without time or effort, no-one knows what's underneath. To be honest in this weather the warmest coat is the best option, but you could liven it up with a nice hat and scarf, have a look in Accessorize.

When spring comes, I think a trench coat looks great, belted to emphasise your waist. With jeans and converse, you'll look really smart.

People on here always recommend Laura Mercier tinted moisturiser, or if you are near a Bobbi Brown counter ask them to do a make over for you, her products are great, and I lke her, she always seems to be on the side of women who don't have enough hours in the day IYSWIM.

Hope some of this is useful to you

Like you say, 8st 9lbs is not heavy for your height but it's understandable to want to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Your new baby is only 11 weeks old though so try to put weight concerns on the back burner for a while. If you're not getting enough sleep then it's important that you get your diet sorted out and don't deprive yourself.

"i dont eat a great deal.. which isnt good i know but struggle to prepare healthy food when i have ds2 screaming in pain alot of time."...

When you do get time to make a meal could you make it in bulk and then freeze in single meal sized portions to be re-heated when needed? What about chopping up some fruit when you get a spare few mins and then keeping it in the fridge for snacks. Fruit always looks so much more appetising when it's already prepared. Do you like houmous? It makes a quick meal in a wholemeal pitta or nice as a snack with sliced up peppers and onions.

Clothes ....

Is the hood non-negotiable? It's just that you're dramatically narrowing your choice by insisting on a hood. Could you invest in a more up to date coat then use the Bench one when a hood is vital? Lots to choose from here. For a more grown up (For want of a better phrase) look what about a classic trench? This would look fine worn with jeans. Or this one which has nice detailing on the collar and shoulder.

Your wavy hair sounds lovely. Do you ever straighten it to change your look or change your parting? Touche Eclat is generally regarded as the best under eye concealer and a good tinted moisturiser is this Nivea one.

I love clinique's under-eye concealer. It's a nice beige colour (I find touche eclat too pink) and you can wear it without foundation.

Agree with macherie about jeans and converse - more youthful than trainers or boots but just as comfy.

I saw a really nice trenchcoat-type mac in New Look the other day - bright red, and quite short, would look great with jeans.

thanks guys, those coats look v dressy! nice though.