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I think I may have bought the ugliest top in the whole world.

52 replies

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 14/01/2009 17:02

I've been looking for a link but I can't find one so you'll have to make to with my description:

I got it from Monsoon. It's actually two tops; a vest and an over layer. The vest is dark brown, t-shirt knit material with string straps. So far so fine.

Now the other bit...

It's a chiffon material, but not particularly floaty. See-through anyway. It's a giant brown and orange paisley pattern. It has a shaped neckline, sort of scalloped and going down into a sweetheart point. Seam under bust and then A-line. Mid-bum length. It has slightly-below-elbow length batwing sleeves with scalloped edges. To top it all off it has a row of military style brass ball buttons down the front.

What was I thinking? I wore it to go shopping today and every time I caught sight of myself it looked like something my Granny would wear. It makes me look stout and matronly. If I were going to move to Chipping Sodbury, join the WI, make jam, shout at people who drop litter, judge fruit cakes and do the church flowers I would wear this top.

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 14/01/2009 17:45

I like it, bar the buttons, I had BIGGER ones in mind!

TheInnocentBystander · 14/01/2009 17:46

Oh God.

Why?

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 14/01/2009 17:49

Would you like a spare, BodyBag?

OP posts:
BodyBagBastard · 14/01/2009 17:53

no, i prefer being called bodybag for short.

i like it, i removed the brass buttons though

georgimama · 14/01/2009 19:54

It's actually worse than I imagined. I wasn't quite prepared for paisley.

Oh yes, Chipping Sodbury is indeed a real place. Your description was so accurate I assumed you were local!

brimfull · 14/01/2009 20:02

MY GOD that is truly hideous!

What posessed you?

southeastastra · 14/01/2009 20:03

my mil wears tops like that, dp always says she looks like one of prince's backing singers

stickybeaker · 14/01/2009 20:16

Oh I quite like it - If I was as slim as you I'd want to take it off your hands!

harpomarx · 14/01/2009 20:24

your head's very bright in that picture, Alice. Did you wrap it in tinfoil for the photo?

princessmel · 14/01/2009 20:28

I dont likr it either. Ming!

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 15/01/2009 07:48

There's actually a slight puff to the seam where the sleeves attach to the shoulder. Oh yes.

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 15/01/2009 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Yunyun · 15/01/2009 13:18

In the first photo it looks like a Tudor period costume. You could wear it as fancy dress

Bobbiewickham · 15/01/2009 13:25

Slightly over designed,, I think.

Designer's first day at Monsoon, out to impress.

"We'll have a top. No! Two tops! One on top of the other! And it'll have sleeves! Batwing sleeves! Puffed batwing sleeves - wait- make that three quarter length batwing sleeves! And buttons - brass buttons. Lots of brass buttons. Think, boho military. Think, hippy met soldier and this is what their child would wear. And do it all in...paisley. Paisley chiffon. Yes."

used2bthin · 15/01/2009 14:09

I clicked on this worrying it was about the same top I bought yesterday in Warehouse! Obviously it isn't but I feel the same about it. Well actually I can't decide if it is really flattering or whether it makes me look enormous, and whether it is a great practical wardrobe solution or something I will regret for ever!

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 15/01/2009 17:01

PMSL Bobbie.
Used2bthin - lets have a pic then... g'wan, I've shown you mine...

OP posts:
used2bthin · 15/01/2009 20:55

Oh I would but no camera! I will see if I can link it. It looks pretty innoffensive but is kind of a cape and I'm not sure if it does the job of hiding my post xmas bulge or makes me look dreadful!

Habbibu · 15/01/2009 20:57

my eyes! my eyes!

used2bthin · 15/01/2009 21:10

www.warehouse.co.uk/fcp/product/fashion/Knitwear/BUTTON-ROLL-NECK-CAPE/11270

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 15/01/2009 21:14

OMG this thread belongs in MN classics.

AuraofDora · 15/01/2009 21:21

two words
hideous
dispose

UnfortunatelyMe · 16/01/2009 13:03

Ive just been to TK Maxx where I found a black jacket with Brass Buttons and BELLS sewn into it in a similar way to how you would decorate a christmas tree with tinsel. In comparison, your top is very nice

BitOfFun · 16/01/2009 13:20

But did you buy it?

Not sure about the black cape thingy- it's a bit superhero who feels insecure maybe? But, hey, I know nothing, I can't make decisions on clothes to save my life...and I didn't think the Paisley thingy was too bad

puppydetox · 16/01/2009 13:26

hahahaha i would sooo wear that top

scampadoodle · 16/01/2009 13:33

I quite like the capey thing. Looks cosy.

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