Style advice for a Sri Lankan wedding

[NoIdeasForDinner]

I've been given the privilege of attending a Sri Lankan wedding! My understanding is sarees and Lenghas are appropriate and that is what is being asked of the guests to wear.

Whilst I'm excited to finally have an occasion where I can wear an actual saree, after looking around I feel a bit overwhelmed to put it lightly.

I like the look of Lenghas, but after having a hernia op and 4 kids and also putting on weight the last few years, I don't feel confident to have a lot of belly out. But saying that I'm not opposed to a small amount of belly showing.

Would love a saree, but after watching a series of 'how to put on Sari' videos I honestly don't feel confident to replicate it successfully at home, especially on the day. I saw these ones that zip up in the front that looks easier but not sure if appropriate.

Maybe if I'd had months to prepare I would feel more confident. I'm now starting to feel real panic that I'm going to end up dressed in something totally inappropriate. The wedding is early December!

Are there dress etiquette or customs I should be observing or avoiding, colours I should not wear or should wear? My husband says black is a no no?

And what sort of shoes and jewelry are appropriate?

Please help!!

Oh I'm an in-between 14-16 and 5'7

I like the colour green, browns, golds, burgundies deep colours basically.

Oh lovely OP you will have a fan time! The bride will wear red so don't do burgandy. Green and gold would be nice.

Oh how lovely! Your husband advising - so it's on your in-laws side? Could you get ready with a member of their family, who could help you prepare?

Unfortunately no. It's not relatives, but my husband's business partners' daughter whose getting married. I kept asking him to get details of what was expected, but being a bloke he casually said 'what you normally wear to weddings' and kept forgetting to ask. It now turns out anything I would normally wear to a British wedding would not do. I have been given almost no time to find anything now.

Thanks for the tip! Life saver!

.

I have made an assumption there that its a Hindu wedding, if they are Sinhalese the bridal colour may be different, google is throwing up white/ivory/gold there.

Thanks for checking! My understanding is that they are themselves of the Hindu faith. In any case I think I'll take your suggestion and go with green. Safest bet.

Would it be disrespectful to get a saree that is sorted of tied or zipped up? I really wanted to honour the culture but I just don't now have sufficient prep time, I think, to get it right myself doing it the traditional way. Any shops you can suggest?

A zipped or ready tied sari would be absolutely fine. No one can tell.

On thank you!🙏🏻

When is the wedding? Where do you live? For a saree you need to get a blouse stitched and if you contact a saree drapist, they will come and drape it for you. You need to buy an underskirt for the saree but the drapist can help you find one. Let me know which area you are in and I might send you a contact

If you're in London , go to Wembley or Southall or green street. Or Birmingham With a lehenga , go for one with a longer blouse so your belly isn't hanging out . They come in all shapes and sizes, they're not all tiny crops or backless, if it is a shorter top the trick is to drape the scarf with the lehenga like a saree, look on you tube, it so easy and it ends up looking like a saree style with the comfort of a skirt. As a first time saree wearer I would recommend that for you. If you really want a saree,there are many places that sell them already stitched with the pleats and you just hook and zip it together so you don't need to worry, again just wrap the scarf bit around you. Again with saree's there's lots of different types of blouses. I would say Southall or Wembley for a Hindu wedding would have better selections. Be prepared to haggle, let me know if you need help and hints, take water, snacks and be prepared to take a day and comfy footwear ❤️

The married women often tend to wear their red wedding sarees so red or burgundy is give if you're married.

OP, they often have someone come to do the sarees properly, a dresser you could maybe join in with. They will also be able to hang the sari in different ways so not too much belly is out. A lot of the younger girls will be in lenghas but I would feel odd as a fifty something. Or, you can ask a family member to help, or a neighbour if you have any Asian neighbours/ work colleagues. You could even ask on your local Facebook group!

Also the fabric is quite important. The cheaper, bright patterned sarees can look a bit wrong. Ideally you want a shot silk, but I think anything fairly plain or embroidered or involving gold at the edge would be good.

Do you have a hotel booked? I'm sure if you contacted the hotel, they could arrange for a local woman to come and help you get ready for a small fee, if you're worried about tying the sari. If you are there for a few days in advance you could probably also arrange someone to help you buy an appropriate outfit while over there. In my experience Sri Lankan people are extremely helpful and will do everything they can to help you out when asked.

I would definitely go for a lengha! Like a pp said, you can get longer blouses and sit the skirt as high as you want so there’s not much stomach showing. It also comes with a dupatta - a long scarf as well so when you drape that it can look a lot like a sari anyway. I actually feel like I have less stomach out when I wear a lengha than when I’ve worn a sari.

They can be really expensive as you get them made to measure and you can really tell the difference in expensive material vs cheap. I sometimes scour Vinted for one roughly in my size as it’s much cheaper to do that and then get any alterations made if needed (they’ve usually been adjusted and so have extra material in case you do need it taking out).

Thanks for the advice!

No, no hotel. Not going abroad (God that would be flipping amazing, but no such luck) The wedding is outside of London but we are travelling super early getting up at 4am in the morning! That's sort of why I need to feel confident that whatever I'm wearing I can get it at least mostly done myself on the day!

Talked to DH this morning and he says if course no one will object if I just wear something nice, but English basically, but I'm super determined to wear something cultural because I may never get the chance to wear a sari or lengha again. Besides I wouldn't like to be an exception!

Thanks to you and the other posters I am leaning towards a lengha

This is a gold dust comment, as I was admiring all the patterned ones, my god there are so many beautiful ones. I've fallen down the well of looking at reels of sarees on Instagram, but I did wonder whether the patterned ones are considered more day wear and the plainer but gold embroidered ones are more appropriate for the occasion and I wasn't sure until your comment

Don't know if I can make it to Wembley but I'll see. Green street might be more doable. Will look at YouTube. Thanks for your kind offer of help, I might well take you up on it. This advice is great I wished I had asked a couple weeks ago

Here's some pics of Sri Lankan weddings in UK to get an idea!