Curly-haired DD: Am I the only one losing this battle???

[LostBunny2]

DD is 5 and has the most gorgeous curls, which I love, but I'm honestly at a loss with how to look after them. I've bought SO many products. They mostly smell cheap, do nothing, or, in some cases, leave her hair greasy and with a weird texture! The products I use on my hair, in contrast, do wonders for her hair too. But they cost more and I always feel worried the ingredients are not suitable for her. Is it just me? What do you do with your DC's curls, and did you ever find something that actually works? Or have you just given up and gone for a bun every day? 😂 Send help please!

I spent the 80s in a cloud of frizz. My curly child worked out a method of washing the same but about leaving in conditioner, sleeping in a bonnet and never blow drying. Sulphate free products are important. Hair needs resetting to reset curls

I used good old tresemme for my own hair and my DDs' curly hair.

No shampoo, just tresemme moisture rich conditioner. I combed their hair with a hair pick when the conditioner was in, then rinsed, wrapped in Tshirts, and then let air dry.

None of them ever brushed or combed their hair apart from combing through in the bath or shower with conditioner in. They wore hairbands in school, or drew the hair back into pony tails with satin scrunchies.

Look up the Curly Girl Method, but it essentially boils down to:
Don’t wash your hair often
Don’t use shampoo
Do use a good, rich conditioner
Never brush your hair dry
Sleep in a silk bonnet, or if your hair is not that long, put it up in a pineapple on top of your head.
My super curly hair is much better if it’s a bit dirty/greasy.

No brushing ever while hair is dry
Apply styling / conditioning products to soaking wet hair, then squeeze out excess water with an old t shirt. Use a wide tooth comb gently to separate the curls and scrunch them v gently
Dry with a diffuser attachment by hover drying - hold the diffuser about an inch or two away rather than touching the hair. Try not to touch hair at all until it's dry

My daughter was like this and now at 15 is still super curly, she loves it! But it was very hard when she was little to keep the curls looking good. We kept her hair bob length (including the curl so was more like shoulder length when wet), this kept the curls springy and easier to manage. We washed it as infrequently as possible and only ever combed it through with a wide toothed comb when it was wet and had conditioner on it. She never tied it back, we clipped it off her face for school. When she reached her teens it started to straighten probably due to only ever being cut straight across into the bob. I then found a curly hairdresser who cut it properly curl by curl and introduced her to some products which help her manage it. She is growing it long now and with the guidance of this hairdresser it is long and ringlety and gorgeous still. She loves it as it really makes her stand out in a crowd. But it needs careful management! She has a silk bonnet which definitely seems to help and still doesn’t wash it too often.

I have a curly haired DD, I use Garnier banana shampoo (https://www.boots.com/garnier-ultimate-blends-nourishing-hair-food-banana-shampoo-for-dry-hair-350ml-10275021?srsltid=AU7gw4XwblZpWWTRtQHeE_oXsXN0Egmo2Szij5MzPp5z9KsPuJ8TQoit) and a small amount of hair mask as conditioner (https://www.boots.com/garnier-ultimate-blends-hair-food-banana-3-in-1-dry-hair-mask-treatment-390ml-10261179) every day, then comb through some curl jelly (https://www.boots.com/umberto-giannini-curl-jelly-scrunching-jelly-200ml-10222389) while it’s still wet before scrunching and drying with a diffuser. Despite everything she does to her hair it usually looks glossy with lovely ringlets. We’ve kept it short as it’s quite fragile and seems healthier that way.

I don't think a 5 year old needs too many products in their hair.

I'd suggest washing just once ir twice a week. Use a gentle shampoo and then conditioner. Comb through when the conditioner is in. Leave it to air dry.

If it gets frizzy perhaps just a tiny bit of FrizzEase to smooth it down a bit.

That's all that's needed at 5.

Great advice except for the Frizz Ease - avoid like the plague! Frizz is just part and parcel of having curly hair but if it frizzes, it needs hydration, so scrunch in a bit of conditioner with wet hands instead

Boots curl creme (cheap as fuck and brilliant) and all the other general curl rules.

never brush hair. I only ever use Afro comb and that’s only when it’s wet, not used a brush since my mum did as a child. Tons of conditioner. Occasional shampoo.

Which products work for your daughter?

Amazing! Which products worked for your daughter?

So much helpful advice! Thank you! I'm hearing lots of conditioner, leave-in, not washing too often and bonnet is the way to go? Which products deliver on the conditioning and leave-in stages though? That's where I struggle and spend lots of money on things that don't work.

I’ve got two daughters with curls that look so similar to one another but what works for one does not suit the other. It really has been a case of trial and error. A bonnet is the thing that made the biggest difference to their hair.

Read everything you can about curly hair and how to manage it. Try using the products you have again and keep notes as to what they are like on your daughter’s hair.

Neither of my girls use shampoo at all and neither of them would use frizz ease. So what works for someone won’t work for someone else. Which is frustrating.

Thank you so much! It can be so overwhelming! Where do you normally read about caring for curly hair? Can you recommendd them please? Interesting that you don't use shampoo! I'm getting this all wrong. :-D Also, the magic bonnet! I heard of it, but never tried it. Which one should I get? Does fabric matter? Sorry for so many questions!

My daughter wears a silk bonnet at night. We use Cantu products.

No silicone. At 5 I only used a cantu conditioner (no shampoo) then a cantu leave in conditioner.

Fabulous hair but definitely an effort to keep looking well.

What products work for her? Then people might be able to recommend similar?

curls are tricky - mine loves shampoo, hard hold products and barely any conditioner

this might be helpful
https://curlmaven.ie/how-to-take-care-of-your-kids-curly-hair/

Look up the Curly Girl Method online.

Years of trial and error that are still on going at the age of 51+.

At the age of 5 though, I'd of thought just tangle-free would be the priority. It'll be 7/8 years of you managing yours and her hair. And the cost!

Conditioner is absolutely essential and then a ponytail or plait. When she wants to start wearing it down, then I would start thinking about products. But as a pp said, what works for one person doesn't work for another. For example, I tried the curly girl method and hated it. My hair never felt clean and ended up really dry at the same time. It didn't control the frizz either. Now I use a cream from an afro shop followed by frizz-eze.

My DS has the most wonderful curls. He is now 18 and has cared for them himself for years now by looking up stuff online. They are incredible ringlets (blonde). He uses Camille Rose moisture milk and a silk bonnet. He even has a silk lined beanie for winter !
He also never brushes and only uses a wide comb in the shower

You can get silk bonnets and satin bonnets. I’d get a satin child’s size bonnet initially. I used to have to make them because I lived in Australia and I couldn’t get one for love nor money but you can get them easily now. TK Maxx, Etsy and so on.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1332738679/satin-baby-hair-bonnet-unisex-hair?ref=share_ios_native_control

I shampoo my DS’s curls once every 2 weeks with Ogx coconut curls. I tried everything with my older DD curls and that’s now the only thing she uses (but she’s older with hormones and greasy hair so she washes hers every couple of days with the same shampoo). Gently brushing hair only when wet is also a must for us.

No leave in condition, no other product, no faffing with tying up hair at night and sleeping on a silk pillow. The curly girl method doesn’t work at all for my kids as their hair is fine and a little on the oily side. Trying lots of different things is just part of it we’ve found due to different curl and different hair types.

I have curly hair which was always frizzy and knotty as a child because it was brushed dry every day. The trick is never to do this.

I wouldn't use shampoo daily. Condition each time you wash the hair and brush the conditioner through with a tangle teezer before rinsing. Then never blow dry. The less you agitate it when drying, the better the curls are.

We use Child's Farm OatDerma for my curly-haired child and it works well. (I use this when on holiday too so we're not packing loads of bottles and actually it works well for me too!)

Never ever brush it when it’s dry, only when it’s wet.

I’m wondering if you are overdoing the product?

THIS exactly.

Silk bonnets galore on Amazon (made from actual silk, not 'silky' polyester!). Cantu is in every supermarket and online at Boots etc.