Help me manage my menopausal hair

[Motorina]

Hi everyone.

I start this by saying I have never been the sort of woman who has had lots of products, so I am starting from a position of total ignorance. My hair care routine has always been wash it two or three times a week and let it dry overnight. Which has worked fine until menopause hit, and my hair texture changed, seemingly overnight.

It clearly wants to be wavy, which is new. It's much more fly away than it used to be. Which means that, when I brush it out in the morning, it looks chaotic and messy and - worse! - aging.

I'm not going to start straightening it or curling it or anything high maintenance. But I do wonder if some sort of product would help? Difficulty is I have zero clue where to start. Do I get something to put in wet and wash out? Or wet and leave to dry? Or when dry? What am I looking for on the shelves?

I looked up a wavy hair method on facebook but, honestly, it involves a rotating cycle of washing with three different categories of things. I didn't even understand the categories, and I just got completely baffled.

Speak to me in small words and help me fix my hair.

Thank you!

Do you dye it? Hair dye can improve the texture and shine dramatically. It doesn’t need to be harsh. Also a few drops of big standard hair serum applied on wet hair.
A really good hairdryer is a great investment- it makes all the difference. Instead of heating up your hair and making frizz worse, it will dry your hair much more quickly and with smooth results. I can recommend the GHD dryer.

*bog standard.

It's so difficult because all hair is different but keeping it basic maybe try the Umberto Giannini Curl Jelly (small amount) on wet hair (not just for curly hair).

Straightening your hair isn’t particularly high maintenance IMO. It’s ten mins every couple of days. Would you consider trying that? Lots of tutorials online.

Frankly the « wavy girl » or « curly girl » techniques are way more time and effort than running a straightener through a couple of times a week.

It doesn’t sound to me like just adding a product is going to solve it.

I run some food grade argan oil through mine after washing. Just a few drops.

Thank you everyone. Things for me to try there. To answer questions I don’t dye it (and don’t want to - quite enjoying the light dusting of silver I’m getting). And I don’t even own a hair dryer!

I have an Amika drying brush so it conditions and straightens as it dries and as you brush. Time saving and works really well on my hair which is similar to yours

I have curly hair and am also low maintenance, if I were you I'd get a light gel or mousse for curly hair, after you've washed, brush a bit of the product through then leave to dry, my hair dries naturally after a short hairdryer blast at the roots as I have thick heavy hair.
The trick then is to not brush it again till you wash as that will just give you frizz, my morning routine on non wash days is a quick spritz of water and a light scrunch, if it's looking frizzy anywhere run a little more product through with your fingers.

Try kerastase products. My hairdresser recommended (she wasn’t trying to sell them to me as she looked them up on boots to show me) the difference between cheap stuff and this is so good. Highly recommend.

Which ones do you use? Struggling with frizz as well and completely clueless.

I went through this recently and spent a fortune trying different products before i found what worked for me.

I now no longer heat dry it and just put in aveda botanical repair overnight serum when its still damp after washing and scrunch to enhance the curl. I also use phillip kingsley elasticizer once a week.

I use the philip kingsley silver shampoo and conditioner and now try to wash my hair only twice a week. Love it now! The curls look intentional beach hair type scruffy curls rather than just a frizzy mess. All expensive products but they have saved my hair.

Before menopause I had fairly straight very fine hair. Now curly it looks thicker so i actually prefer it.

I never thought i was bothered about my hair before but when it turned into a wavy haystack overnight it really knocked my confidence. I hope you find the right solution for your hair.

Thanks @lostntranslation Wavy haystack pretty much sums it up. I look in the mirror and see my grandmother!

Try a colour depositing shampoo and conditioner, in a blonde shade which will just tone your silvers and build some thickness in the hair shaft. A caffeine shampoo will help with density and porosity and some argan oil will take away the frizz. Using a protein spray before you shampoo and making sure you always use a treatment mask once a week too. Klenditioner is great for colour depositing and there are some nice Aveda shampoos for that too.

Hey OP - are you actually my twin?! 😂😂

I could have written your comments, word-for-word. It’s such a relief to hear that the sane weird things have happened to someone else’s hair too!

Similar to you, I don’t bother with a hairdryer - I prefer to let my hair dry naturally. I also like my sprinkling of greys 😂 But I have liked the result of using a brunette colour boost - it doesn’t cover the “sparkly hair” as my DD describes my greys, but gives my remaining brunette hair a nice depth of colour.

I’m happy keeping my new wavy hair but my hair is also very fine so tips to keep the volume without the frizz would be good!

@OneFunGreyFish what does a protein boost do please? I’m using a hair loss shampoo and conditioner, and have added biotin to my diet - do I still need it?

Protein boost spray is a pre shampoo spray that reinforces the hair fibre. Yeah I would still use it every time.

Update: I have been shopping! The cu k jelly recommended by @TheOGCCL wasn’t in stock in Tescos, but a different brand was. It was too funky for my hair but I can see why that class of products might help. Waitrose didn’t have it either, but the did have Aussie shampoo which I saw recommended on a similar thread, so I’ve bought that and will be trying that next. Phillip Kingsley shampoo (thanks @lostntranslation - that’s going to be an expensive habit if it works) is on order.

Neither had anything I could recognise as protein spray, though. @OneFunGreyFish - might to be able to link to what you mean please? Waitrose did have alcohol free martini rosso (which it lovely these hot evenings) on offer, so I got a bottle of that. It probably won’t do much for my hair!

My hair is wavy but like you describe yours as - mine completely lacks definition and as soon as I brush it I get full on lion's mane. I got sucked into a social media and recently and bought Only Curls Mega Hold gel (it's for waves, not just curls) and have to say I'm loving it. You just apply it to damp (not soaking) hair, scrunch it with your hands and then leave it to air dry - usually about 20 minutes so I potter around in that time. It dries crispy but then when you scrunch it again you get really nice defined waves that look intentional rather than wild, andy natural hair is doing all the work. Might be worth a go?

Please excuse my terrible stickering, but this is the end result with the Only Curls gel if this is the sort of product you're looking for.

Argh same, mine was straight for years and now the greys grow straight out and each one with its own wave pattern.

Hairdresser told me to stop using shampoo which helps. Cowashing results were variable until I started using Hair Story New Wash, which is expensive but takes ages to get through.

Tried oils and creams for the mad greys around my hairline but in the end the only thing that works is a dab of something very thick and greasy like Neal’s Yard wild rose balm or in a pinch a touch of Vaseline.

@mummabubs thank you so much for posting that. Your hair is much curlier than mine (although who knows where it will be in a year's time). I will add that to the list to try.

So far I am cautiously impressed with the Aussie shampoo. My hair is much softer, and looks less chaotic, which is a win. Also it smells nice.