Help me find a dress - but there's a catch

[Batteredcodmushypeasandafalafal]

Hello wonderful mumsnet. I'm looking for a dress for a dinner/dance coming up. I don't get the chance to get out very often, so don't have many decent dresses. This is a work meal and dance at a fancy hotel.

I would preferably like something with straps as I like my arms and shoulders, not high cut but not too low cut either. Size 10-12, but I'm in my 40s and have breastfed four kids so need to be able to wear a bra underneath to stop the sag! My legs are a nice shape, but I never tan and fake tan doesn't really work on me so the whiteness of my legs can be blinding but it also shows off all the crinkles and cellulite more. The joy! Mini or midi would be good for length.

I am neurodivergent and have quite a few sensory issues, so material can be an issues, I can't do velvet, satin, silk, chiffon, wool, anything scratchy, anything too heavy. I also can't manage glitter/sequins/beads etc. Soft lace is ok though.

I like black, red, purple, turquiose/teal, yellow. I have a goth/punk/alternative style normally, but it doesn't have to be for a fancy dress, but I wouldn't like floral or with lots of drapes (can't think of the right word), basically nothing too "busy."

If you've read this far it's a miracle. Now we get to the catch bit. I am very limited on funds, so am looking for something on vinted/ebay etc. I know this makes it more difficult. I have tried to look, but all the options and filters overwhelm me and I get disheartened. Hope someone can help. Thanks.

Does this tick the boxes? It’s cotton! Shows off your arms! Sounds like your style! https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6071741964-black-cotton-dress-with-red-piping

Is this too busy (you could make an offer) https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4787223328-vivien-of-holloway-halter-dress

Fun! https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/3218879286-red-spotty-vintage-dress

This is stunning https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6096314672-joanie-red-evening-dress

Or this https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4435483212-navy-joanie-mid-length-dress-floaty-pretty

This might be too goth but the back is lace https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6128877241-black-butterfly-back-dress

monsoon purple lace cocktail dress https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4996278422-purple-midi-cocktail-dress

Too casual? https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4784555704-vintage-lindy-bop-dress-size-12

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4236310645-karen-millen-sleeveless-dress-size-10

Round neck but doesn't look too high, and sleeveless to show off your arms? Well within your budget 🙂

It's lovely, but sadly sold.

These are lovely, but sadly all long sleeved.

The red one was stunning, but sadly sold. I'll see if i can find another like it. Thank you.

Thanks so much everyone. There were a couple i really liked, but sadly sold already. These are some examples of styles/shapes I like. Some which people have shared. I like other styles too but can't find anything when i google. I'm obviously not at all on trend 😜🤣

Here's one:
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6114450855-red-party-dress-size-10

Thank you! Do you think it's too much for a meal and dance? It's so beautiful but might be overdressed.

Some veautiful ones here, thank you.

Depends. For a nice hotel type affair it would look great. But it would be too overdressed for pub food and pub dancefloor.

For a work meal and dance in a fancy hotel, I think it's great.

I think it depends though- do you want to look great and fancy for a change, itlf that's not your usual style? Or do you want to look like you? Both options are valid, but what style of dress you go for depends on the answer.

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5992700036-y2k-monsoon-black-floral-embroidered-midi-summer-dress-uk-10-cottage-holiday-cotton

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4781110482-boho-gothic-layered-raw-edge-slip-dress-dark-fairycore

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5711983038-deck-deck-by-decollage-vintage-steampunk-long-black-dress-size-10-vgc-party-alt-goth

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/3546915151-unique-black-graffiti-effect-fitted-dress-by-sonia-k-paris

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4189710021-redwhiteblack-hr-rose-dress

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/4712840879-pattern-vintage-90s-colourful-sundress-aline-skirt

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5627664348-per-una-ms-linen-dress-12-embroidered

Are the mumnetters reading this thread buying all those vinted dresses up?!

😂😂

Am I way off?

https://prettykittyfashion.co.uk/collections/sale/products/pretty-kitty-black-white-queen-anne-dress

It's pretty, but a bit too flared out for me.

Have you searched for 1950’s vintage (reproduction) style at all? That might work.

These are slightly over budget but to give you an idea
Dress 1
Dress 2

i tried adding a third which I thought would be better but I can’t get the link to play ball.

If you’re conscious of your leg skin app consider sheer, nude tights

These are a lovely style. I'll search Grace Karin on vinted. Thanks.

How about something like this? https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5411234972-john-rocha-silk-dress

If the neck is too high on a dress you can very easily make a few cuts in the neckline and sew it down so its more comfortable. I don't like high necks so have done this a few times. Also very easy to shorten sleeves.

You'd think it would be easy but I am not at all talented at sewing. I would definitely ruin anything I tried to do this to sadly.

I've had a think and I love it, but I don't think my colleagues would be that dressed up and I would feel uncomfortable being the only one.

Hi, I am sorry I don’t have time to search lots but I suggest looking at next clearance, there are some lovely dresses and a lot of them are below £20. - https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls422637/k85427

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su566422/ay7045

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls439123/b43126
www.next.co.uk/style/ls425995/k87277