The latest beauty treatment? (as promoted by Mumsnet...apparently!)

[DatingDinosaur]

Infused with snail secretions

Err, thanks but no thanks.

Oh that's been around years! It is very good

Lots of snail moisturiser products available. I'm an Olay bird myself

B b b buuuuttt.... snail secretions????? Grim.

Have 'snail secretions' been hidden under a different guise in the past?

Oh is this one of those "snail mucin" products? So weird. I don't care how smooth it makes my skin, I'm not wiping a fucking snail over my face People really will do anything in the pursuit of beauty!

I can go camping and have one crawl over me for free

You're quaintly behind the times. This became popular about 6 years ago when Korean beauty became the latest thing. It didn't do much for my skin though. Some people swear by it though.

But SNAIL SECRETIONS??? Who on earth discovered that if they rubbed a snail's bum on their face it removed wrinkles?