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Original poster

Menopausal winter wedding guest dress

52 replies

Amithatbad1 · 06/10/2024 10:49

Wedding in December and cannot find the right dress!
Size 14 with big boobs and hips with disappearing waistline due to menopause but was once an hourglass.
I don't like high necks but definitely not strapless.
My legs are OK so not maxi or midi.
I was thinking velvet for its warmth as I feel the cold easily but also thinking not good for hot flushes - sweaty?
I want to try and create a waistline and also hold in my mum tum so maybe a wrap style?
I'd love a wrap lace dress but in my price range the lace always looks cheap.
I suit bright jewel colours so looking for red - not wine or burgundy or green or blue, again bright tones of these colours not dark or pastel.
And also, if possible, I want to look elegant not trashy or frumpy!
Please help!!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
piccolorhinoceros · 06/10/2024 10:54

What is your budget? Also for a wedding midi or maxi usually looks most elegant, are you sure you won't consider them?

Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 06/10/2024 11:48

Definitely not midi, it's just not a good look on me, I've tried!
I guess the only OK part of my body are my legs so I usually wear just above the knee. When I've tried maxi, I always seem to get my toes caught in the hem and trip!
Budget as cheap as possible but £100 is probably my top end depending on whether I'll get a lot of use out of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 06/10/2024 13:29

The blazer style dress is probably the one I like the most but I find with those style of dresses that the shoulders are quite restrictive and if you lift your arms the whole dress rises up 6 inches!! 😆
I don't really like drapey, loose, flowy dresses.
I once had a tulip style/shape dress which was really flattering, well according to other people! So I guess I'm looking for something quite structured and fitted ish?

OP posts:
BlanklyMyDear · 06/10/2024 14:02

Hmm … Grin

Unless you’re a trained and qualified designer I think it’s a pity you’ve already prescribed the dress you’re prepared to wear, rather than browsing likely sites and seeing what you fall in love with! I don’t personally think stylish dressing is primarily about showing off specific bits of your body - insisting on inexpensive red lace at above knee length could result in something really not very nice. And decidedly unfashionable. But, 🤷🏽‍♀️ …

(By the way, whether velvet is sweaty or not might depend on what it’s made of. Cotton velvet would be lovely, polyester, less so.)

This:

Farm Rio dress

is way beyond your budget to buy new, but if you rented it, or found it pre-owned, you could pin the front lapels open to create a V neck. Maybe worth looking for other Farm Rio frocks?

& Other Stories has this (above budget) highly elegant

Blazer dress

to which you might add something bright at the neckline if you felt it needed that. (They also have some sequinned wrap mini dresses, not sure if you’d like them for a wedding?)

This is very cute:

Batsheva dress

and incredible value. Though I’d be inclined to search for it from a source to which it could be returned if it doesn’t suit. (US sizing so you should be a size 10.)

BlanklyMyDear · 06/10/2024 14:06

Photos of final dress in case you don’t scroll that far.

Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 06/10/2024 14:12

Thanks,
I have browsed and browsed AND browsed sites looking for dresses to fall in love with but haven't found anything hence asking for help on here! And rather than just ask for any dress, I tried narrowing it down to what I know suits me.
I've seen lovely dresses but they're not the right shade for me - I know what tones suit me. Or they're backless or strapless - I have to wear a bra and it'll be December. 🥶
Or they're covered in sequins or glitter - fine for the evening but a bit over the top for the ceremony during the day in a rural country church etc etc
Budget wise? Well I can't help that! 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 06/10/2024 15:25

These are the shapes that I like,velvet,long sleeves but not flappy, bell or lantern sleeves.
BUT the blue one has sequins - No
And the slit seems a bit too high. Black one, the velvet looks cheap or at least the seam running from the slit does and don't want to wear black. The red one looks pinky rather than scarlet and again looks like cheap velvet and I'm not 100% on the slightly puffed shoulders.

Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
Menopausal winter wedding guest dress
OP posts:
itsjustbiology · 06/10/2024 16:10

scarlett and jo ...worth a google!

ArghhWhatNext · 06/10/2024 16:21

Would you prepared to have 2nd hand? I have a dress in my wardrobe that almost meets your brief and doesn’t fit any longer. Knee-length scarlet wool crepe fitted shift dress from LK Bennett size 14.
it has short sleeves so you’d need a jacket/wrap for the day but perfect then for evening?
dm me if you’d like it/to see pictures

piccolorhinoceros · 06/10/2024 17:34

Okay, useful to see the shape you like, although I'd definitely call them midi dresses. I can see why you're struggling as the shape and fabric can look cheap (and is probably going to be polyester) unless you're spending a large amount.

This is sold out in your size but you might find it elsewhere - Forever New

New Look

SoberSchmober · 06/10/2024 17:39

I'd also try secondhand. I agree that cheap velvet looks like what it is (cheap polyester) unfortunately

ShillyShallySherbet · 06/10/2024 17:46

I’ve got a similar shape to you and I have this dress. It’s so flattering www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224515148394?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=w9ktks-bsaq&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=EhlgbWvPTZC&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Doggymummar · 06/10/2024 18:34

They are midi wiggle dresses. Try bombshell, silkfred, Karen Millen secondhand you should find something. Or as other have said , rent something.

Matildahoney · 06/10/2024 21:09

Girl in mind have similar style dresses to what you've described.

MadBlack · 06/10/2024 21:19

Joe Browns.co.uk do dresses in jewel colours

amoreoamicizia · 06/10/2024 21:21

I actually find that a wrap style emphasizes my belly but of course that varies from person to person.

Talipesmum · 06/10/2024 23:51

How about this one:
https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-darcy-jersey-wrap-dress-dark-red/p111239787?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&s_share=jlappios_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

I’ve had a velvet wrap Gina bacconi dress before and it was well made and comfortable.
Also try Jolie moi (also on JL website) - they have quite a few wrap dress styles, but quite a few looked darker colour or not what you suggested.

SlebBB · 07/10/2024 00:22

You need a Scarlett & Jo velvet dress - jewelled coloured just like the one you’ve linked with the sequins