A f*ck you b*tches holiday capsule

[MiniMumMax]

Ok, so to be brief…

We often go to the same place on holiday as my husband grew up there. A nasty btchy lady from his past made nasty btchy comments that basically suggested I look old (I just turned 40).

It really threw me as everyone always said I look young. I’ve tried to be self reflective and resilient about it but when we go back this year I really want to look good. I would like to say that I will have spent the year perfecting my yoga body but I’m very likely to still be around about 5ft 2 and a fairly wobbly size 8-10 with pretty big wibbly wobbly, I breast fed sort of boobs and very pale skin…

Sorry… that wasn’t very short.

so what do I wear?!

to look like the cool, beautiful lady on holiday who doesn’t want to feel like a frumpy old person in any way?

swim wear? Capsule wardrobe? Must dos. Must don’ts?

I was such a fashion obsessed teenager but this b*tchy lady knocked my confidence right down. 😬

I want to spend my summer feeling like a cool mum! 😂 and feel like “f*ck you!” To the haters!

all advice appreciated! 🥰

also, budget options appreciated too! X

Who did she make the comments to and was it a surprise bump into or have you gone back to where he's from? Basically is she going to be there again and remember you?

She’s jealous!

I think you should a) stop giving a shit about what some lady said to you last year and b) stop putting asterisks in the word bitch because it's making your formatting go crazy

Just be yourself, I can’t believe you’re going to all this effort for someone you barely know.

you are giving her way too much headspace. Wear what you want and *## her.

I imagine you don't look old at all. People just say things for all sorts of reasons, often with no truth in it. Your post makes me think she finds you annoying and just wanted to bring you down a peg.
I understand why you might feel angry or upset. It's unkind. Just get a good fake tan, a nice hair do/ colour and clothes that suit you. It's as simple as that. If you are a decent person, she will be the only one who looks a total dick here.

Rather than obsessing over your appearance ( which I imagine will have NO impact on this lady's comments) maybe think of a good way to communicate if you come into contact with her. Just give off the vibe of confidence and security. Maybe think of something to say of she says anything else unpleasant ( e.g just highlight her unpleasantness). I think most decent people would go out their way to not offend so I believe she did it on purpose for whatever reason.

I wonder if you have a well fitting bra or bikini because having had large boobs in the past, they can make you look much older and more matronly

What the hell has happened to style and beauty?!? It’s about wanting clothes / fashion advice or it should be not bloody pep talks about what you wear doesn’t matter.

it matters if you’re into style and beauty and that’s not shameful.

Is it a warm holiday location? By the sea? What sort of things will you be doing day to day? Just trying to get a feel for what type of clothes you’ll need.

I’d say old people frumpy was pretty much bang on in style at the moment - cottage-core, flat fugly sandals, high waist, high neck and over sized everything…

Your desperation to not appear old is the most old fashioned thing you can do. You have a cracking slim figure so most things will suit you - just be happy. The best revenge is a life well lived.

The only useful comeback I can think of is the old Dorothy Parker reply to the woman who let her through a door first, saying "Age before beauty!".
To which La Parker replied, as she sailed through the door, "Pearls before swine".

It may take some manoeuvring to bring this about and then she probably won't even use the age-before-beauty trope.
That's bitches for you

She sounds awful OP!

If you personally feel you could do with a revamp (forgetting her shitty comments), I think the things that make the biggest difference are: eyebrows, teeth and hair (professional eyebrow shape, teeth whitening and a new hair style).

Re. capsule wardrobe, John Lewis has tips here:

https://www.johnlewis.com/content/fashion/women/how-to-pack-for-a-holiday

The main ones are

1. Pick a 3-shade palette. Perhaps black+white+grey, or red+white+blue, or bronze+cream+green.
2. Repeat accessories, using the same bags and shoes with multiple outfits.
3. Roll up your clothes – especially if you only have a carry-on.
4. Pack a steamer (a small one).
5. Photograph outfits while you pack so you know exactly how many combinations you can make. Also, then you won't be overwhelmed when you get to your destination.

Personally, I like to take earrings - they can instantly dress up an outfit.

You're size 8-10. Who cares what anybody else says?

I would start with getting your lashes and eyebrows done as that frames the face and makes you look so awake and pretty and no one will figure out why!

I like nars orgasm blush on holiday, lifts my pasty complexion. Add in some tanning drops to your skin care routine maybe?

For capsule holiday wardrobe, Id look on IG you could Pinterest a mood board. I'm sure you've done that. Personally I like a neutral (nudes/monochrome) pallette. Silver is having a moment- you could look at adding a metallic evening item.

But obviously do this for you not a snarky bitch who isn't worth the headspace. Bollocks to her!

People only make nasty comments like that when they have their own issues. You say your just turned 40- she probably guessed that you may be conscious of having left your thirties. Her words were designed to dent your self-esteem, I doubt they are based in truth.

Onto your question… I’m very unfashionable, so I don’t know, but I always think that nice sunglasses and bags make me feel more put together on holiday.

Whats your usual style? And as a PP asked, where are you going?
I think there is a risk you can try too hard here and not feel yourself, so not actually achieve your goal.
For me the people who look best on holiday are the ones who look like they have made no effort at all but the outfit is cohesive and suits them as a person. Ironically this can take a bit of effort.
For me the little things make a difference like beaded anklets or the perfect sunglasses.

Off to sunny Spain. But not really a touristy bit.
Thank you everyone!
I’ve never got my eyebrows/lashes done. Maybe this is a good shout. What do you actually have done? Shaping? Mine are brown so I’ve never bothered.
appreciating all the help so far!
xx

@LaMarschallin that made me laugh!

I get my eyebrows threaded which is just shaping and it makes such a difference to my face.

Those JL tips about packing just a few colours etc seem like a good idea.

You need a really good looking pair of sunglasses.

Love a lash lift- really opens up the eyes and as a bonus no faffing with mascara for a few weeks

I’d buy some in trend chunky leather slides, a decent straw or fabric hat, then a shirt /floaty dress with sleeves, get your nails done, sunglasses and a big bag.

I have noticed that people who get an entire new wardrobe for a holiday, in a style that isn’t theirs, can like a bit uncomfortable. If it’s not a holiday place maybe just get a couple of new things that are just normal smart casual for wherever you are going rather than the ‘Brit abroad’ look.

purely on the S&B side of things…

to feel good - nails, pedicure and eyebrows threaded and tinted. I just got my eyelashes tinted too which looks amazing! Don’t get false ones they look daft!

Think about what your best bit is and what bit you don’t like and chose some core pieces around that. What shapes suit you? What colours?

accessories - get some fab sunglasses. Good shoes- sandals/trainers.

I would apply a little bit of fake tan, groom/tint lashes and brows - light makeup especially blush & lips.
i am short and during the summer/holidays I mainly wear dresses; I buy midi as they are usually a maxi length on me so perfect! Trainer shoes with a bit of height for walking or pretty flip flops or sandals and lots of pretty accessories… bangles etc… just whatever makes you feel put together!

Also vote for lash lift and brows. I had LVL lift and tint and laminated brows before a holiday last year and it made an amazing difference. Lamination isn’t for everyone but for me it allows be to shape my brows into an arch with gel. Otherwise they grow stubbornly in a straight line across my face.

What is your usual style OP? And what is your best neck line for your boobs? How do you feel about your legs being out?

Is the lady Spanish?

just wondering OP because I live in Spain (am a Brit) and can tell Brits on holiday from a mile off and I think it’s because they have a holiday wardrobe, and it isn’t their usual style, or maybe they haven’t wanted to spend money on something they won’t wear much, but they do stand out in a way other nationalities don’t.

I think a warmer weather version of what you’re comfortable in plus a great cut and colour, shaped brows and minimal make up will do the trick. Get a fake tan before you go. Denim cut offs or a floaty skirt + white t shirt works everywhere. Straw hat +
great sunglasses. Personally I’d avoid any colourful dresses from the uk high street as the dyes are just slightly too bright and look strange. It’s never red, it’s tomato.