I don’t know how to dress anymore.

[TLIMSISNW]

I used to feel great in my clothes, now I just feel like I make-do with clothes that don’t really make me feel good about myself.

I’ve just turned 40 and have also put on a bit of weight around my middle which might be affecting things. I’m a size 10/12 but always been an hourglass as I have big boobs but had a tiny waist. Lately I don’t really have a waist anymore so I feel my boobs make me look bigger than I am.

can anyone recommend some good staples? I currently live in jeans (either skinny or mom) and some sort of jumper.

I’m very pale with long mousy hair and don’t even know what colours to wear. I think earthy tones suit me but I’ve just lost all confidence about what goes well and what suits me.

I don't have suggestions for clothes, but several years back i got rid of everything that didn't make me feel good from fit, to fabric to style. I then had a blank slate to start experimenting. I made a few mistakes early on, but once i found what i liked my clothes really started giving me a lot happiness. So, do you have a notion of what you like? What things you're drawn to when you see them on others?

I would get your colours done, either consult someone or just read up about it and try holding up different colours next to your skin and face in good daylight. It makes such a difference if you wear the colours that suit you.

You could also consider getting professional help with re-finding your style, if you can afford it. However, have to say that I did this for a special event and while the general advice was ok, she really didn’t ‘get’ my big bust or find me things that were flattering. There was a thread on S+B yesterday, What kind of tops look good on busty middle-aged women? with a lot of tips.

It’s hard to recommend staples without knowing your style preferences and lifestyle. Recently I’ve been watching videos by Melissa Murrell and similar stylists. Found them very helpful in gathering information and inspiration and they have re-awakened my interest in clothes.