These are desperate times Harry...

[Rhymenocerous]

...your mother has gained 5 inches on her waist!

How about some inspirational poems and couplets - easy to remember when you are tempted and reaching for the biscuit tin!

a bit like classic Victoria Wood.

Don?t scoff on that easter egg
You?ll end up looking like Simon Pegg
(In ?run fat boy? run)
and never have Thandi Newton?s bum!

I like: "Better in the bin than on my bum"

Oh, I once had a woman say to me whilst eatig a bug cream bun, "Got to feed me fat".

Say's it all really.

How about in miserablist Radiohead stylee,

Don't eat that
don't give into self loathing
and will never be good enough
never fit into Boden's clothing

haha!

Better in the waste
than on your waist

in my case

Doesn't quite work...

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Oh, I am just looking at where they used to be....wellimg up. I will see them again.

How many inches haev you lost on your waist then? About five??

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I am having the opposite wardrobe crisis - not buying anything to fit the current me and so have a wardrobe full of too small clothes

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You are getting a big bum
get out and run!

a woman asked me yesterday if I was pregnant

I said "no, I'm just fat"

omg

I keep catching sight of myself in the mirror and withering up inside

A minute on your lips, a lifetime on your hips!

My friend used to say that to me when we were teenagers. She is now about a size 30 and I am a 12/14 so really she should have taken her own advice!

little pickers wear bigger knickers