Why do we need a wake up call / kick up the 🍑

[RunItOff]

To take better care of ourselves? Question prompted by another thread where OP is getting divorced and is on a self-improvement mission. But why are we not always treating ourselves with more care and respect? Same here, though health related wake up call…

I was thinking the same thing. It doesn't take me much effort to have a skincare routine or take a few minutes to do my hair and makeup. Why wait to take a bit of care?

For me, it’s because I don’t prioritise myself enough. All my energy goes on work and family leaving very little for me.

I’m trying though

Personally I think things like a proper skincare routine and keeping your hair, nails lashes, etc etc in check does take quite a lot of time and investment especially as we age. When you're not in a happy place, even though looking good often increases confidence and makes you feel better, you may not necessarily have the mental space or time. Some of it is probably borderline or actual depression. So bit by bit you stop doing things and then you end up with quite a way to come back (if you want to).

@TheOGCCL I think that is very true. Also as I age I find every day is a "bad hair day". I can't actually do anything that will make me look like I want to so it's easy to say why bother?

Creams , serums, exfoliators, oils etc... cost a huge amount of money.

When you're desperate to feed your children, skincare regimes go out of the window.

Given that most skincare regimes don't work anyway, why spend the money?

The boring answer is that everyone is different.

I definitely vary in the degrees I will go to with my "routines". Even when I do, I find that I'm rarely hitting every single category of:

skincare
hair care
fashion
make up
sleep
exercise
diet.

For me, I'm doing well with exercise and sleep but not great with any of the others, though I'm making inroads with haircare. I've got two young children, a full time job with long hours. I don't have a cleaner or anything like that so my mental capacity just doesn't go that far sadly and like others, I neglect myself at the expense of other things. I certainly do not feel comfortable spending money on products for myself when we have other financial commitments.

Some people might find this stuff part of how they relax, and I quite enjoy it when I do it but I genuinely forget or rather am not great at providing myself with the necessary materials.

I am fairly low maintenance, but I do buy expensive (to me) skincare as I enjoy the treat morning and evening.

I get my haircut every six weeks without fail. I've never had it coloured, and it's light red and not very grey at 54.

I get my brows waxed as they need it, but that's about it.

No point in nails as they have to be polish free and short for work (NHS)

I have very fair but long lashes, so a lack of cheapish mascara dies the Jon, get the dyed for holidays, etc.

Epilator deals with any excess hair as needed.

I don't buy expensive makeup as I don't wear much, but I love perfume, so I have lots of that.

*does the job. Poor John 😭

For me any self sabotage is usually due to alcohol. So if I drink a few glasses of wine on Friday night, I’ll feel sluggish and not exercise on Sat, reach for carbs for breakfast, be too tired to wash my hair so just “make do”. Then I’ll be in a bad mood and think sod it, and have a chocolate brownie. Before I know it, I’m going for the wine again on Sat night and then feel even worse on Sunday. So I’ll pull on the easiest comfiest outfit and feel dreadful all weekend.
But even when I’m in this kind of funk, I’ll still do skincare and make-up. But I won’t do fake tan/nails/hair/exercise/low carb. It all comes down to what Input in my mouth and I suppose that comes down to no will power and an element of self-sabotage thrown in for good measure.

That sounds very familiar @JMAngel1 ; that cascade of behaviours starting from one choice. You sound very self aware. I think staying up too late is mine. I just love the peace and freedom of not being spoken to, but like you it makes me less likely to make good choices the next day.

I've got that Atomic Habits book on audiobook and that's the whole premise of it really. I need to have a good sit down and think about my own bad habit loops

@PetitPorpoise
Ooh Atomic Habits - that’s been in my Saved items list for a while - I plumped for Miracle Morning instead and that has definitely helped me (I’m really good Mon-Fri mornings but then it all goes wrong on a weekend). I just won £10 Amazon voucher so going to get Atomic Habits as well. Good shout.

Looking good and feeling confident takes a lot of time and effort compared to teens/20s. Don't want to be seen as "high maintenance" but as life goes on you realise that more maintenance is required in order to look and feel the way you want to!

E.g. moisturiser, very few 20 yos have to apply moisturiser daily for their skin to look glowy/healthy. Def don't need to worry about a few late nights either, most bounce back quickly.

Me, 37, if I skip moisturiser for a week the wrinkles get deeper and I look at least 5 years older / 10x more stressed and washed out. So at 37 yes I apply it most days. Likewise sleep, feel tired most of the time and like I never get enough sleep, kids keep bouncing on me!

I think a lot of women wake up in their 30s/40s and go "oh shit". I certainly did.