Help me find a dress for a black tie wedding - awkward body shape!!

[SweetSakura]

I am stressed. I need to find a dress for a very glamorous black tie wedding abroad (northern Europe). The problem is I have put on lots of weight in the past few years (being investigated for thyroid issues). And my budget isn't immense as children spend all my money .

I am 5'4 and a size 14 with a depressingly big belly, big boobs, excess weight otherwise evenly distributed and my legs.and breasts and my best features.

Best description of my usual style is a little bit edgy I guess. Although I rarely wear anything other than dog walking gear at the moment it feels!

Please don't tell me to lose weight. I am trying. I walk the dog every day and do more exercise as much as I can but struggle with fatigue. And eat max 1200 calories a day.

I just can't imagine finding a dress I look nice in. I was size 8-10 from my teens till a few years ago ( now late 30s) so don't feel like myself at all at the moment

Sorry should have said, budget for the dress is up to about £150 at a pinch

Have you tried Coast? I'm terrible with dresses but have had some success with getting occasion dresses from Coast. Gathers at the waist help conceal a belly:
www.coastfashion.com/-twist-neck-detail-dress-/BCC01178-1.html?color=122

This isn't a a belly that can be concealed sadly (except by wearing a tent)

I’m a similar shape to you and find that pretty much only empire line suits me. Have a look at Nancy Mac , I got married in one of her Valerie dresses and looked my best.

I KNOW you said don’t tell me to lose weight, and I’m not. But read on it ignore .
forget everything about low calories and look at Dr Jason Fung on you tube. Low carb( but not keto) and intermittent fasting.
You not only get to eat nice food ( just had steak and salad for dinner) but you lose weight from your middle. I’m 55 and I look more in proportion than I have since my 20s.

I shall take a look at coast though, thank you. I used to shop there years ago but it's been a few years since I had a wedding to go to.

www.coastfashion.com/womens/dresses/maxi-dresses

Coast is a good call. I'd have suggested Hobbs or LKBennet formal wear but they are well over your budget.

Thanks @Ohyesiam .I don't mind that kind of advice. I shall take a look. But I have seen too many threads for clothes advice on here turn into a lecture on being overweight and how they will look better if they lose weight and I just don't need that as I am well aware.

Glad I didn’t offend.
I’m going to try an attach a pic of a Nancy Mac style that I find really flattering. They do it in lots of different fabrics.

Have. A look in Outnet and Wolf and Badger. Some of it is £££ but there are some bargains to be had

Seen quite a few I like on wolf and Badger thank you but just can't figure out what dress shape will look tolerable. Empire line just makes me look heavily pregnant

Think about rental - for 150 you could rent a sensational dress and get accessories if necessary (but frankly if you've a pair of existing shoes that you know will not kill your feet I'd plan round them - I often see people hobbled by new shoes at black tie events!).

Here's some food for thought but depending on where you are, a visit to your local dress rental place may be best to try on different styles

Girl meets Dress size 14 and apple shape hire.girlmeetsdress.com/collections/dress-hire/size14+apple - if you're unsure something like the Willow and Pearl which can be worn in different ways might work for options but then it's jersey so depends if it skims or clings...

Hirestreet size 14 www.hirestreetuk.com/category/black-tie?filter-sort=price-high-low&filter-sizes=14 - by the way this made me think - what about a killer suit or jumpsuit rather than dress, could work at glam northern european wedding.?

www.selfridges.com/GB/en/cat/chi-chi-london-tie-detail-printed-stretch-satin-midi-dress_R03901928/#colour=LILAC

Have a look at phase eight too

@SweetSakura

Seen quite a few I like on wolf and Badger thank you but just can't figure out what dress shape will look tolerable. Empire line just makes me look heavily pregnant

I am a similar shape to you and the style of dress @Ohyesiam showed is a good one. I have big boobs and big belly (they stick out the same amount 🙄) I've found that something tailored in the middle sort of skims over the belly instead of clinging.

I also would wear empire line as I just look pregnant as it hangs from my boobs!

Generally I've found if it fits my boobs it skims my belly. Also don't be tempted to size up as it just makes you look bigger. Better to have a slight bulge than masses of excess fabric.

I feel your pain though, I used to be slim and toned and it's hard when you change shape, especially when "plus size" models are all hour glass shaped, not really helpful when you feel like a potato.

I really recommend a swing dress. Accentuates the boobs and hides bellies.
These are cheap and I have lots of them! Buy up a size....

Women's Vintage Dress Ladies Cotton Sexy Retro 1950s Halterneck Rockabilly Swing Floral Print Tea Hem Party Skater A Line Prom Cocktail Party Homecoming Dress Plus Size UK 10-22 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0752TW3RY/ref=cmswwrcppapiiiV1N469KM41NRGRMGDAGX?encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Are you sure you're eating enough? 1200 calories a day is really, really tiny. That's the RDA for a toddler.

I love this dress - would do it with Castaner wedges and a fancy headband. www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/somerset-maxi-dress?category=dresses&color=011&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

I know this isn't what you asked OP but if you do have an underactive thyroid then reducing calories and exercising can actually make things worse. Reducing calories and exercise lowers your thyroid hormone more which will worsen your symptoms and annoyingly cause you to put on more weight as your metabolism is slowed down even more

It's incredibly frustrating (I know I've been there on and off for the last 6 years) but the recommendation is to not diet and do only gentle exercise (walking is fine but not too far) and gentle swimming to keep the body moving but not over exert. Also try to eat the calories you need (ie don't eat reduced calories but work out your TDEE and try to stick to that so you are not overeating) including carbs as your thyroid needs carbs to function. I made myself incredibly unwell trying to low carb when I first developed thyroid disease (when it had worked really well for me before). 😩

If you haven't already I'd really recommend the Thyroid U.K. website and their forum on Health Unlocked for excellent advice (thyroid disease is often misdiagnosed, and poorly treated sadly).

If you need the details of an excellent private endocrinologist who has, after 6 years, got me firmly on the road to recovery (just done 5 days straight in the gym which is by far the most exercise I've been able to do in 6 years!!!!), PM me.

Good luck.

Thank you @TooManyPJs have sent you a PM. Thats makes sense as it is weird to eat so little and exercise and not lose anything!