Ive completely lost my way. Any fashion help on offer?

[CoconutAmericano]

Im mid forties, having a bit of an identity crisis. My make up doesn't suit me any more. My black Rimmel eyeliner now looks too harsh against my pale skin..
My skinny jeans make me look dated and I feel frumpy. I used to feel great! My red hair is going grey and trying to find a box colour that matches my hair is so difficult! Plus the regrowth is unforgiving. Ive booked a hair appointment for high lights so hopefully that’s that issue sorted. But, i just feel so blah recently. Clueless. Anyone else? Where do i turn? I need inspiration. . I want to make the switch to straight leg jeans for eg but dont know how. Basically I’m a tall pear shape. Size 12 on top, 14 on the bottom. Im bummy and hippy.
Has anyone any advice or could point me in the right direction please? Someone even to follow on insta! Id like a few easy outfit ideas. I live in jeans and for work i need to dress down so i want to stay with jeans. Its just how to wear them now!
Thank you for reading ladies.

One thing at a time.
You've made a hair appointment.
Make-up: for now perhaps just wear a bit less eyeliner or switch to a softer colour (e.g. dark brown instead of black) or a kohl pencil smudged with a cotton bud instead of liquid. But when you have changed your hair you will want new make-up anyway.
Jeans: find yourself a half day to go and try on many, many different styles and take photos of yourself in the shop changing rooms. Wear underwear that you like and a flattering top, and steel yourself for a marathon. You may not find the holy grail of jeans that day but you will be closer.
If you have the cash, buy yourself a couple of cheap pick me up things such as costume jewellery or having your nails done or a new perfume. They won't necessarily make you a million times better all of a sudden but they will remind you that you are worth spending time and money on.

Thank you Anna i appreciate your reply. I had a feeling id have to devote many hours to finding new jeans lol. That’s a great idea to take pics though, I wouldn't have thought of that! If anyone has any shop recommendations I’ll take them!
Yea I think I’ll run into Boots tomorrow and see can I get a kohl pencil or a dark brown liquid eye liner. Black looks so harsh on me now! Its funny how what looks good on you at say 44, looks dreadful at 45 😅

If possible, go jean shopping at a time when the shops/changing rooms won't be too busy, but choose branches that have plenty of up to date stock. I'd go to 2, max 3 shops, shops where you already like to buy clothes. Not necessarily all on the same day.

Possibly your eyeliner has started to look OTT because your brows are thinning/fading? You could also try an eyebrow pencil or even make an appointment for your brows.

Thanks Anna. My eyebrows are on fleeek lol. The one thing im proud of 😂

If you can, I would skip the jeans shops - order a load on ASOS and try them at home then send back what you don’t like. Rinse and repeat. Jeans shopping is the worst and looking at your thighs in changing room lights is good for no-one’s happiness.

If that’s not an option I would go somewhere like a Levi’s store where the assistants will bring you sizes and styles. Even if you don’t want Levi’s jeans they have lots of styles which would give you an idea of the cut/fit you do what.

Following for tips, too! I was recently working with some smartly-put-together ladies of my own vintage (mid-forties). And I realised how badly I need a haircut, nails, bit of make-up...
And to wear my nice clothes, now I’ve lost weight. I was wearing what I thought was a nice outfit, but I felt frumpy next to them! It’s the finishing touches, maybe, that add polish?

Try following doesmybumlook40 on Instagram, she does a lot of good videos.

Thank you ladies. I feel better already, like I've a plan! Ok so I'm now following bum40 (i totally forgot about her, used to follow her blog years ago) and I've ordered the Agnes boyfriend jeans and a pair of Aime printed joggers and the Wrey dress all from Hush. Was only looking for jeans but got side tracked lol so if anyone has bought any of the above from Hush let me know what you think! Thank you work performance bonus card 😂
Or of course any more style or just jean recommendations to get this mid forties girl back on track I’ll basically love you forever.
Maybe trainers or high tops?? 🤔

And eh, I only went and ordered Victoria Beckham’s kajal eye liner in coaco. Saw Sali Hughes using it on tik tok, I appreciate i sound 16, but I have to say it looked far more forgiving than the Rimmel black liquid eye liner I've been using for donkeys years.

Right that’s it, I've literally no more money this month 😅😅😅 pray for me