i ahev slathered self in fake tan this mornign

[FluffyMummy123]

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I am making do with blusher mixed with bronzer

got a double-edged 'You look so well for someone with a tiny baby' last night

I am worried about the perkiness.

Has ds got an extra guitar lesson?

fake tan is every womans saviour I even feel better with it on if I'm ill.

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lol WHAT did it say or more crucially, did it end in x?

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I don't think so.

I fear you may be his MILF.

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x on the end of a text to your mum usually means either

I know I've pissed you off & want you to forgive me so you'll give me a lift home

or
I'm going to ask for money next time I see you.

Or both.

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lolol

don't worry dear. As long as you are perky, it will all be ok.

I do think the yoooooot of today like sending millions of text messages using ridiculous text speak. Does he use text speak to you?

is it nice and orange Cod, for a ready brek glow?

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are you going to turn into one of those threads where your dh checks your phone

and he comes on and we all go 'oh god you must leave her'

and he cries

How old is he? No text speak is very impressive. I always think it's just oldies who manage that.

yes, does wonders for your tits

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Which fake tan Cod? All my friends have sodded of to Switzerland or France or Austria to bloody ski and am feeling v sorry for myself. A nice tan would cheer me up

ooooh who was it off coddy?

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Ooh I faked tanned today too. Feel loads better.

Had a morning dedicated to self preservation - eyebrows, minge, legs, tan and toe nails.