Going from dark to lighter hair, lots of grey - I need help!

[nancy75]

I'm stuck in a rut with my hair. It was naturally very dark brown/almost black.
I'm 46 and I have quite a lot of grey, which up until recently I have dyed dark brown, close to my natural colour.
My hair hasn't been dyed for a while, I have masses of grey at the roots and think now could be the time for a change, to maybe go a bit lighter (i'm finding the dark a bit harsh against my skin as I've got older)
I'm not going to embrace the grey, my hair is very curly and the grey makes me look like a mad old woman who lives in the woods.
So what do I do with it? What do I ask a hairdresser to do? any pictures, ideas for colours any suggestions welcome (i'm pretty useless at this stuff!)

A friend had this, they called it a colour correction. They were lightening the ends only, not the grey regrowth, to get it to the same 'lightness of tone' as the grey and then put a lighter brown Quasi colour over it all.
Said she would need to come in as more regrowth shows and go lighter until the regrowth blends in and is the same level of lightness and matches when she puts a lighter brown over all of it, so there are no darker ends.

My ends are quite light (compared to my natural colour) the bit that is the problem is in the middle! So I have probably 2 or 3 inches of grey at the top (not 100% grey) dark middle and light ends.

Basically I look a fright!