Jesus Mary and Joseph, it’s all gone wrong!

[Pepperandsalty]

So, I’ve dyed my hair since ever, it’s been all colours, and last year I stopped dying it altogether and let it go natural, which in my case is “salt and pepper”. The front is whiter than the back. I thought it looked distinguished and authentic...

Well today DS brought home a picture of himself doing an activity, and there is a kindly looking elderly lady, very academic looking, leaning over and helping him. I assumed School had got some retired lecturer type in to help with the project, which happened to be Ancient Rome. I thought she looked interesting and assumed she was a retired lecturer from our nearby university.

Then I realised her top was very similar to one I have. And then I realised it was in fact, me.

I am 47. I don’t necessarily expect to look like Elle McPherson, but I’m also not ready to look like HM The Queen.

I am going to dye my hair TOMORROW. How do I choose what colour? Something that my white roots won’t spoil in a matter of weeks.

Help help help!

rose gold and pastel hair is very popular now, and it would probably be doable to lighten your hair enough for them if it's so light. try and this pale colours - your roots won't show as much, also skin tone changes when hair turns grey so you want something that won't jar with that

Try hairprint, it's a botanical, organic hair, colour restorer.

www.myhairprint.com

OP I have no constructive advice: I’m paralysed with indecision about what colour to dye my own hair. I just wanted to say though that I absolutely love your writing style and good luck!

Have you thought of going to a curly hair specialist? They will know how to give you a cut that works with your curls. The one I go to in Manchester uses curly girl products so you don't need to worry about them undoing your natural hair.

HAve it dyed platinum/white blonde and use purple shampoo to maintain a clean white shade. The regrowth will be manageable.

I would also have it cut into a messy pixie with height on them crown to balance large features. The texture of your hair would be perfect for this.

Finish with matte red lipstick and bold silver, plain jewellery.

The camera can lie. I am quite attractive really but if I take a selfie it can be an absolute shocker!

I think it is something to do with the image being reversed and the way that light reflects from different colours.

Which pink hair dyes are people using?

TO be fair I resemble Mr Potato head in photos yet am told I am attractive in reality 😁

However this is the sort of thing that I mean. You can ruffle these up and play to your hair’s texture...

When I was at the pepper-and-salt stage (I'm 'Arctic Platinum' now), I was looking through photos of my nephew's wedding. I wondered who the kindly looking, pleasant faced older lady was standing next to him. It was me!

It is enormously difficult to see yourself dispassionately, and even more so as you begin to age, which is why photos can be so hard to see. I bet your friends and family don't see you ageing as harshly as you do. But if it bothers you, I agree with PPs that your hairdresser is the sensible place to start. However, you probably ought to have a very good one to haul you into a new place.

@IwankaTramp My hair looked like photo 1 and I loved it! I got loads of compliments too. However once I turned 45 I felt like I had to explain to people it was white blond, not grey. Not that anybody ever questioned me - it was just my self consciousness.

I'm naturally ash blond but I don't suit it so I've been chocolate brown for the past 4 years. My face disappears when I'm au natural (not a bad thing maybe!). I'm lucky that I have very little grey a just a few silver strands at the very front which nobody can see except me. When I'm peering into my 10x magnifying light up mirror looking for flaws.

I miss my crop 😢

@whiskyremorse which hairdresser do you use in Manchester? Dd2 has v v curly hair and uses curly girl (?) Method but can't find a hairdresser that she trusts enough to cut it.....

ILikeYourHairyHands - stunning! But are you sure you're not a model?!! Face is flawless.

Vicky at Hepburn Project now called McCrory Hair on Oxford Road - she's amazing. check out instagram Vicky Queen Of Curls

Might be worth trying this purple shampoo before you do anything drastic.
I had to stop colouring my hair as everything I used irritated my scalp. Hair was a dull looking pepper and salt and I hated it. Then hairdresser used this purple shampoo on it and I was amazed at the difference it made so I bought some. Seems expensive but one bottle has lasted me over 8 months as I don't have to use it every time.
I love my hair now and people often ask where I had it coloured as it looks like I've got platinum blonde highlights.

@HidingfromDD i get my hair cut by Vicky Queen of Curls at McRory Hair. She's lovely and your daughter's curls would be safe with her!

Iwanka your hair looks ace!

Ok, in the words of Theon Greyjoy, “things can always get worse.”

So, I got some dark blonde spray and covered it in that and it looked sort of ok, in a Lego-hair sort of way. But I decided to go a shade braver and got some lilac semi permanent. I’ve just used it, it removed all the dark blonde spray and I now have iron grey locks.

This.

I look like a transitioning Dickie Davis. (Google him)

I found some sally hamsen leg spray stuff and have sprayed it all over my head, to remind myself what darker hair looks like

Hilarious!

Thanks JM, no, that is my unfiltered, un-model, no make-up, grey-haired, 44-year-old face.

But it does look 44. It has a look that young faces don't have. An ingrained cynicism, maybe.

An ingrained wisdom hairyhands fixed that for ya 😉

You need to stop fixing it at home and go to a salon!! Putting a load of crap on top of a load of crap will undo all your good work making it healthy won’t it?