plus size no confidence - need off the peg wedding dress advice

[DimpledThighs]

I saw my sister today adn she is getting married in July. She has always been big (about a size 18/20) and she is 5ft4. She said she went into a 'wedding dress' shop and came out in tears feeling so intimidated by the shop staff. I said I would help her look for an off the peg one but I don't really know where to start.

She herself said it will be a nightmare as she knows she will look horrible and hates the fact that everyone will be looking at her. I really really want to help her feel great.

I said I would meet her for a days shopping in the Birmingham bullring - so we have loads of shops to try.

I tried to get her to look online and she got all upset so I really have my work cut out.

I don't want her to feel akward and ugly before the day begins - she is a wonderful person.

Any advice would be gratefully received!

Get her to have a look at the dresses on this website - saw them advertised on another thread a while ago and some of them are lovely.

There was another large bride thread a while ago, I'll see if I can find it.

Thread

A friend of ours was in a similar situation and had hers custom made by a dressmaker! Worked out really well for her.
Am about the same size as your sister at 5ft6 (and was 3 months pregnant at the time of my wedding) but had no real problem finding anything. Mind you, mine was aubergine and black..so not exactly your standard wedding dress colour!

that is great raspberryberry - she does have a bit of a thing about 'plus size' places - she hates evans and the like - but it is a great site.

Oh - I seem all ungrateful now but really I am not! Thanks so much for replying!

Don't forget Monsoon go up to a size 20. I bet BHS does too.

Was going to suggest Big Beautiful Brides as well but if she doesn't like dedicated sites for larger people she won't like that much!

There's not much in bullring for larger people, I have to say - she'll struggle to get anything there, let alone bridal.

Also Debenhams - allthose in the link go up to size 18.

if shes so unhappy shouldnt she try and loose some weight before the wedding?

it sounds like her size deeply effects her and even if she finds the perfect wedding dress, and im sure she will look stunning! - it sounds like she wont think she looks beautiful IYKWIM

maybe even just a couple of sizes will boost her confidence??

And M&S now do wedding dresses, though possibly only online.

Here you go - BHS goes up to size 22.

thanks so much - esp. the tip about the bullring - will probably make her feel worse so will suggest something else - you are so helpful!

any good shopping locations for plus sizes?

oh thank you califrau - that really is a possibilty for us to visit.

I love you for your help and support.

I am 5'4" and a 16/18 so a similar size and have had no issues in wedding dress shops at all - all v.v.nice about my size. Berketx bride were v.good. I am dieting at the moment but when trying on dresses I have actually felt that i didn't need to lose any so its been a v.positive experience. Would she be prepared to try another bridal shop?

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!

I really wanted to thank you for all your suggestions and advice. I emailed it all to my sister and she sent this back

"they are really good! i like the bhs bridesmaid dress and the dresses on M&S - well done, you have now earned your official bridesmaid stripes!!!

i think i should be able to buy something nice (and not to expensive) off the shelf, it seems like there are lots of options and you might be allowed to wear something nice too......

thanks"

she sounds so much more positive and I couldn't have cheered her up without all your brilliant suggestions - she seems like a different person.

I am so thrilled!

• that's fab - glad she's sounding happier about it.

Excellent! Glad to hear that I know just too well how utterly frustrating looking for clothes in plus sizes can be, never mind trying to find the ONE dress.

Hope she has a fab day...you must tell us how it went!