Oh God, style SOS, I need a REALLY great dress.

[lanouvelleheloise]

I am 5'4 and 11 stone and VERY unhappy about this. I have gained 4 stone in the last few years due to illness and I barely recognise myself in the mirror. Nearly 40 too.

My best friend is getting married in late June, and I am speaking at the wedding. It's an incredibly fancy affair and there will be lots of very eminent, well-groomed people there. I need to look elegant and poised, rather than my usual look, which is more 'enraged water buffalo'.

Please help me find a dress that will suit someone of my heffer-like dimensions! Just for once, I don't want to look like a total state. Prepared to invest some ££ not to humiliate myself!

Need more info!

Body shape? Colours? Things you want to show or avoid showing?

In the meantime I have seen lots if people on here recommending jumpsuits from phase eight ATM.

As above, plus what dress size are you?

What's your style? Do you want to look cool/hipster, classic, sexy, etc.

OK, I will try. I'm not very good at this, hence the SOS. So please prompt me if you need more info.

I'm around a 12/14. I have a bit of a tummy/love handles that I definitely want to hide, not keen on having my thighs or upper arms on display either. (I'm really pale, with blue eyes).

I would like to look classic and grown up. I'm not into very feminine, floral stuff on the whole, though willing to give anything a go right now.

ladress.com recommends these for a wedding
ladress.com/en/t/occasions/what-to-wear-to-a-wedding

Personally I think they seem a little bland for an English fancy wedding, but the brand seems solid. Sadly most items in a polyester fabric (albeit supposedly of the best kind).

There are so many lovely dresses on that page. I suppose I just don't know where to start. I don't look good in many kinds of clothes and I'm not sure how to dress these days now I am fat. (I haven't really adjusted to it, IYSWIM).

Have you tried phase eight? I find some of their clothes are really flattering (esp for hiding a tummy) but you need to go in and try them on as they look totally different on the hanger.

I had something in this sort of style for dd's christening - different print as it was a couple of years ago now. With a wrap if you are self conscious about your arms?

floral-dresses/marthe-floral-dress/203964000

Sorry, link fail am on my phone.

But search for that on the phase eight website.

Have you looked at Bombshell dresses? I think one of those may give you the confidence boost you're looking for.

I'm exactly the same height and only 1/2 a stone lighter than you. My saviour was gok wans book how to look good naked. It told me exactly what kinds of clothes would suit my body shape.

beela - that dress is gorgeous! But I don't think I could carry off that print, or the white (I'm so pale, it can make me look a bit dead!) I bet it would look sensational on someone who could actually tan!

I will try Phase 8! And Bombshell - I was thinking of maybe going a bit vintage with my hair, and that would be the perfect style of dress if I went that way.

It's crazy, but I have to give a speech at this do and I'm way less worried about the speech than I am about the dress.

I've just bought this for a wedding - super comfy and flattering. Dressing it up with heels and maybe a fascinating too m.johnlewis.com/ted-baker-lusara-a-z-ditzy-skater-dress-navy/p/3107917?sku=236687470&s_kwcid=2dx92700016938409422&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKEAjwsLTJBRCvibaW9bGLtUESJAC4wKw1y9el8ao4gQxtRaIvl-wdHMuKK45qRfEBQ3xxOlRWExoCCgbw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Biba

Coast with a lacy shrug if you want your arms covered.

ted baker

LK Bennett silk - sleeves to cover arms, good length, belt to cinch in your waist

Reiss if paired with a navy jacket

Phase 8 wrap dress - team with knockout jewelrry and shoes

Is silver too pale for you?

This should come out at a great length on you

Thoughts?

I've just got this in red and it's very flattering. I'm a 12 but hour glass shaped, it fits nicely on the waist but may be worth ordering in the next size up too if you're conscious of that area. Comes in a few colours I think.

Also tried this which is also lovely, but feels a bit work-like to me for a wedding. Could be teamed with some accessories to cheer it up though!

Coast have some gorgeous dresses in just www.coast-stores.com/p/eve-stripe-bardot-dress/1787289
This is Bardot so would help with tops of arms ?

I've been recommending this to anyone who has boobs and hips but doesn't want anything clingy.

It's really really flattering on. They also have it in navy if pink isn't your thing. Would look amazing with a blazer and heels.

www.little-mistress.com/little-mistress-curvy-watercolour-prom-p6235

Think this is Little Mistress on the Very website

Throwing Oasis in to the mix
There's a mid sleeved lace coral skater dress that might suit your shape

I'm a size 12 and 5'4''. I've just bought this for a wedding - it looks really elegant.

www.johnlewis.com/hobbs-margot-dress-chalk-blue/p3188339

These are great! Thank you guys so, so much. I think there are several that would really work and I can't thank you enough. It's calmed me right down!

cloudyapples - your dress is perfectly themed for me, I love it!

traviata - what lovely taste you have. I love everything you've picked, though I wouldn't have had the skill to select them out myself.

oleanna - that silk LK Bennett is gorgeous. AND I could take it on holiday as I am going to Portugal in July.

outcomes - I do love that second dress you picked! I am not sure I could carry the first - I think my arse would make that bow stick out!

loadsa - I like your thinking on the neckline. Something I haven't thought about enough!

red - looking at that dress, I can't imagine it looking good on me. But I have already proven I have literally no clue, so I'm going to try it on! Will report back! Same with chish's dress - both are lovely and really cheap and I could use some new clothes (this is turning into an entire new wardrobe)!

crochita - those sleeves are gorgeous! I worry, however, that as a klutz I might send every champagne glass in the vicinity flying...

trees - that's so feminine! Probably a bit too feminine for the wedding (I want to feel fierce and strong speaking in front of people) BUT great for my hot vacation! Thanks!

There are some beautiful dresses on here. You are going to look fantastic!

This is my go-to dress. I have recommended it to tons of my friends and it never fails to get compliments. Sucks you in, hides your arms and shows off collarbones (sits v wide on the shoulder) www.thehouseoffoxy.com/product/mansfield-dress-scarlett

gah that dress is great. Tempted. Not sure about the colour on me though.

I don't have any dresses to suggest atm but have you considered booking a personal stylist session? John Lewis, Debenhams and other large department stores do them either for free or for a small fee.

The stylist will suggest styles that flatter your body shape and colouring, there's no obligation to buy anything. It will give you an idea about which styles suit you etc & you can use their suggestions in the future.

www.johnlewis.com/our-services/fashion-advice-service?