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Original poster

shit is it too late to change my mind about wedding dress......

20 replies

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:24

i brought and paid for my dress fri and had a fitting sat.The lady in the shop sold me the dress, veil and tiara for a really good price. The thing is im having second thoughts about the dress but everytime i try it on i love it i think its because ive gone for something that i wouldnt thought would suit me. I think the thing im unsure about most is the veil as its a short one when i originally tried the dress on the women gave me a cathedral veil which i really liked as it looked really traditional. However my mum preferred the shorter one and so i couldnt really decide. But looking through mags etc i see alot of brides wearing a long veil and it looks really nice. Do you think i should ask if i could do an exchange im getting married in less then 3wks. Ive already paid for everything just havent picked it up yet as the dress is being amended.I just feel like a awkward customer

OP posts:

lostinfrance · 05/03/2007 14:27

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Original poster

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:27

just add i do think the dress is nice just that its pretty rather then wow iykwim but it felt really comfy and showed off my shape. Im just feeling nervous that im not going to live up to dp expectations he keeps going on how he cant wait to see me yet. Im def not sure about the veil though

OP posts:

Walnutshell · 05/03/2007 14:29

I have no experience regarding whether it's feasible to change at this stage, but I do think it's important to wear something that you are totally happy in as you will alwyas remember how you are feeling about it when you think back to your wedding day.

Don't worry about being an awkward customer - I'm sure wedding shops/makers deal with far far more difficult alterations and with less notice!

If you're gonna do it, do it properly!

Having said that, my frock was off the peg, but it wasn't a flash do!)

mumto3girls · 05/03/2007 14:29

which dress did youm go for in the end mum2sam?

Walnutshell · 05/03/2007 14:30

Maybe phone the shop in advance to say you want to go in and try alternative veils. Then take the whole lot in and get their advice. I bet they are helpful - you aren't trying to take the whole thing back after all.

funnypeculiar · 05/03/2007 14:30

Oh blimey - you sound like me!! I had a lovely dress made ... got it home & burst into tears, convinced it wasn't the right decision/they'd cut the bust wrong etc etc ...For me, it was pre-wedding panic...
Could you get a good friend to come round & give an honest opinion? (would someone telling you you look FABULOUS help?) I'm sure the dress shop will be used to people having last minute panics - give them a ring & ask if you can come in & look at different veils. IMO, you need to be happy that you're wearing what you want (not what your mum likes) - it's YOU getting married
Different veil lengths do look different with diff dresses, so I'd suggest you try them out with the dress - ignore the magazine pictures.
Sounds like the dress is the right decision for you, you just need to be totally sure on the veil. If you do decide the long one is the right thing, you could always ebay the short one & buy another one. Worth it to look fabulous (as I'm sure you will

Original poster

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:31

there shouldnt be a problem changing the veil should there if anything id prob have to pay more.I have paid for it but i havent picked it up. I dont know whether to go in now or to wait until i pick the dress up but that isnt until 3 days before the wedding and just asking to try on the other veil.

OP posts:

Chloe55 · 05/03/2007 14:32

It sounds like you like the dress - why not change the veil? If you are really not happy though then def change it's just another thing to feel nervous about on the day. Good luck.

MrsBadger · 05/03/2007 14:33

The dress is the big thing and that sounds like it's fine - if it suits you and it's comfortable you'll look ravishing and people will go 'wow!'.

The veil is a much less big deal - when you have your next fitting ask to try the whole ensemble inc veil, and try a cathedral length veil as well.

For what it's worth, in my experience long veils are an utter pain as someone always steps on them and, unlike a dress train where all it does is tug round your waist, stepping on a long veil yanks at your hairdo!
Having said that, if your dress has no train a long veil can make you feel more 'bridal', and you can always whip it off immediately after the ceremony.

expatmama · 05/03/2007 14:33

i would have thought changing the veil wouldn't be a problem at all - and i am sure that they are used to brides changing their minds all the time - there was even a 7 day cooling off period when i ordered my dress, in case you changed your mind - which i did, but not until months after ordering so ended up buying a new dress 2 weeks before my big day! i too had been convinced into buying the original dress by my mum, even though i wasn't 100% - and i ended up wearing my original short veil when a cathedral would have looked better with my new dress.

sorry - that was really long winded - what i want to say is that on your wedding day it is really important to be 150% happy with your dress and accessories, so please don't worry about being an awkward customer, ask them if you can change.

have a wonderful day!

twelveyeargap · 05/03/2007 14:34

If you just want to change the veil, it shouldn't be a problem. Changing a dress with 3 weeks to go might well be!

I wanted a long veil until my mum pointed out that the short train on my dress was lost under the veil. She also quite rightly pointed out that as I'd gone for a large "merangue" of a skirt, the short puffy veil balanced my shape, so I didn't just have this HUGE skirt taking over my very short frame. Perhaps your mum had good reason to like the shorter one - ask her.

funnypeculiar · 05/03/2007 14:35

Oh, & I wore a long veil which NO-ONE (least of all dh) expected - not me usual style - everyone loved it - in retrospect, my favourite bit of my wedding outfit

Original poster

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:37

i did go for the more expensive one mumto3. Everytime i come home i keep imagining the dress to be completely different to what it is.Its not a satin dress it has a satin underskirt with a lace overlay with embroided flowers and its ivory.So it was completely different as i was expecting to choose a big white satin dress.But for some reason the white just looked too white and felt too dressed up. I just think the veil may make the dress a bit more wow without being over the top.

OP posts:

Original poster

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:42

i felt a bit of a fairey in a white dress for some reason. Did anyone else go for ivory?

OP posts:

twelveyeargap · 05/03/2007 14:47

Will the cathedral veil cover too much of the embroidery/ lace and ruin the effect? Try on both veils again and try to be objective about how the long one really looks with the dress. Sometimes we just look at the veil "on its own" iyswim and not see how it looks as part of the package.

Much in the same way that if you have a spot, it's the ONLY thing you can see on your face whereas hardly anyone else notices.

mumto3girls · 05/03/2007 14:49

I am getting married next spring so will have all the joy of choosing a dres in the nearish future!!

Original poster

mum2sam · 05/03/2007 14:58

i do think it matched the mood of the dress as the dress is pretty and the veil is trditional iykwim. Plus i have a long train and so it went with the lengh of that. It was the one the assistant first put with it-then my mum asked to see different lenghs etc and so i got confused. Plus i had enough at that point of trying them all on. I mean the short one looked nice but i just think the longer one made the dress better. The thing is the dress is being altered so i may not be able to try it on with the dress again till 3 days before i could just pre-warn them and say is it ok when i pick it up to try it with another veil.

OP posts:

newgirl · 07/03/2007 10:47

i think it would put your mind at rest if you could go in and try on the veils again as soon as possible

give them a call and make an appointment to go on your own or with a very calm friend

i don't think you have to try on with the dress - something similar will give you an idea; you need to think about how the veils feel on/how heavy/how it moves when you walk.

If you really want to see it with the dress - explain the situation and you could even offer to order/buy both and decide nearer the time

I don't think you should change the dress - it sounds perfect and suits and fits you.

when its the big day you will have the right hair, make up, undies, shoes etc and you will feel fantastic!!!

don't worry about what your dh thinks - he will be relieved you showed up and will think you are the most beautiful person in the entire world!

Original poster

mum2sam · 07/03/2007 20:05

ah thank you-youve made me feel alot better now. I will give them a ring i think or pop in this week.

OP posts:

Eeek · 07/03/2007 20:08

not read whole thread but just wanted to comment that your DH-to-be is unlikely to really notice the dress. He'll be so thrilled that you're there becoming his wife that the details will completely pass him by. Wear what makes you happy and he'll be just fine.

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