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Original poster

Long hair on a forty plus woman

232 replies

Mitfordhons · 23/04/2016 09:08

When I was younger I thought older women looked a bit mutton with long hair, but things have changed. I'm not sure if it's part of the cultural shift that says 60 is the new 40 and so on or if it's just that I'm now older, but I just don't see it now. I'm in my late forties and have long hair, I'm fortunate that it's thick and in great condition, but am I deluding myself? Every few years I cut my hair short and I always regret it so I don't want to and I do feel it's a bit frumpy on me, but is it just as bad to have young looking hair on a not so young face? When is the - excuse the pun - cut off?

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SellFridges · 23/04/2016 09:11

I'm not there yet, but as I head towards my late thirties I've noticed that my similarly aged friends all now have hair longer than they have ever had it. I think people are having long hair for much longer nowadays.

MissBattleaxe · 23/04/2016 09:16

I think it can look great, and be much less ageing than a short cut. It needs to be well looked after though.

herecomesthsun · 23/04/2016 09:16

I am 51 and don't feel right with short hair, just no.

Greengardenpixie · 23/04/2016 09:24

I think that it depends upon the length, your face shape and how wrinkly you look!!!!
I also think that getting your hair cut short is ageing too. Its really all about what you suit. I think there used to be a general rule that over 40 you either got a bob or a short hair cut and it would age you less. I think it became a 'marker' to signify you were over a certain age.

I have below shoulder length hair and i am 48. I mostly wear mine up and it suits me as I have a long neck. I too have thought that maybe i should get it cut buy my dh says to me that every female in his work over this age has their hair in a bob or short. That totally puts me off.

Floisme · 23/04/2016 09:26

So your hair is still in good condition and it suits you long but you're thinking of cutting it off because of your age?

I don't understand.

But I don't understand why women describe themselves as 'mutton' either so maybe I should back away.

georgefrederickhandel · 23/04/2016 09:27

I think it depends on more than just age. It's also to do with the shape of your face which of course changes as you age, your body type and the condition of your hair. I am in my mid 40s and have just below shoulder length hair. It suits me that way. Short hair would age me by at least 10 years. One of my dearest friends however, same age as me, wears a pixie cut and looks really youthful whilst longer hair makes her face sag.

SurferJet · 23/04/2016 09:27

Short hair on a 50 plus woman is far more ageing than long hair imo.

ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 23/04/2016 09:28

my mum always said 'you're never too old' I think it's good advice as long as your not going over the top what's wrong with keeping your hair long after 40. I'm 38 and I have long hair I have absolutely no intention of cutting it at all

QuimReaper · 23/04/2016 09:35

My mum used to hack hers into a crop and I think it looks much prettier and more youthful now that she wears it to just above her shoulders. It's pure grey and has always been wispy and fine so I can see why she thought a "style" might be more flattering than flyaways, but I think it was too harsh.

I intend to keep mine at least to my shoulders forever. I look awful even with a ponytail, I can't see that changing when I get older. I'm hoping the difference will be that I'll try and evolve my styling technique. My mum has never tried to style her hair which I think is tricky with thin, straight, fine hair (which I've inherited Hmm)

The "I'm old, gimme a bob" look makes me sad.

arandomname · 23/04/2016 09:36

Well, the question is also - do you care?

When I was young I would have thought I was hideously fat at size 14. Now I think I was brainwashed as a teen, and I'd be very happy to see size 14 again! (Am approaching size 20 atm).

BendydickCuminsnatch · 23/04/2016 09:39

I don't get why people seem to chop all their hair off as they get older Confused my mum had gorgeous thick long hair but she cut it all off and it's been chin length for a decade or so.

HolditFinger · 23/04/2016 09:43

I worried about this a couple of years ago and had it cut off into a short bob. It was a total PITA and I had to blowdry it every day. Needless to say it's now long again and I've decided not to worry about what I 'should' look like Wink

dudsville · 23/04/2016 11:14

I've never understood this. Why is long hair for the young? The other day I saw a woman who was maybe 70 who also had strikingly beautiful hair in my opinion. It was grey with natural low lights (whatever her hair colour was before it was grey I presume). She had layers and it was bra length. I thought it really suited her, I thought it was attractive and that she really stood out from the crowd. She had a whole kind of earthy, seaside thing going on in layered cottons and I was just really impressed by her look. I was describing her hair to my nearly 70 year old friend who really disapproved of her age-mate's choice of hair style. I was surprised by this. There are lots of religions where women never cut their hair or it's just kept long. They don't look odd when they are old. If your hair is naturally thin or doesn't naturally grow very long then of course it makes sense to keep it short, but that's not about only about age and it doesn't happen to everyone as they age. Does anyone know when this notion that older women should have short hair began? It makes me think about ye olde times when married women would put their long hair up into a bun. I wonder if it's related to that?

AlmaMartyr · 23/04/2016 11:17

My mum is obsessed with me having my long hair cut now that I am over 30. I just don't feel right with short hair so the long hair is staying for now. Do what you like!

Lanark2 · 23/04/2016 11:21

Long hair is a universal sign for 'I still like sex' if you still like sex then leave your hair long, then everyone will know. I don't get it, because short hair is sexually much more practical, but there it is, its the rules..

Lanark2 · 23/04/2016 11:22

Argh! I mean ..GrinConfusedGrinShock of course..that's dark cynical humour in my world!!

Thatrabbittrickedme · 23/04/2016 11:22

I used to think mid 30s was the cut off, but at almost 39 I'm just not ready!

It's getting expensive though as I have to dye the greys (I look at the going grey gracefully threads with longing but I don't have enough to do that yet). One packet of shop bought hair dye isn't enough and I can't do a home dye without wrecking the bathroom so have it done at the hairdressers which is so pricey (but at least doesn't necessitate reprinting walls at home).

Thatrabbittrickedme · 23/04/2016 11:23

*repainting Blush

flirtygirl · 23/04/2016 11:33

I didnt know hair had an expiration date. Maybe its cultural. I know lots of ladies with long hair but they are asian or black. I did notice that european older ladies have short hair but i just thought it was the fashion. I didnt realise it was an expectation that you reach a certain age and cut your hair.

All that said, i think have whatever hair at whatever age. Ive had a small mohawk before and as im approaching 40 i will have it again poss at 40 and with pink tips and why not.

I love long hair but as i change my hair quite often, i will wear a wig to get the long effect.

dudsville · 23/04/2016 11:38

Thatrabbit, I'm one of the going grey gracefully ladies. I ditched the dye about 4 or 5 years ago. It's hard to begin with so you do really have to want to. First I had to bear the embarrassment of growing out the colour. Thankfully may hair grows quickly so I only had about 6 - 8 months of this. I kept my usual long hair during this time but kept to my hair appts more religiously than usual during this time and I used a lot of hair masks to help the fading colour not to look so dull as it worked its way tot he ends of my hair. I then more recently had to find new shampoo and conditioner, and I keep to the frequent trims. I love freedom from the bottle and my hair gets admiring comments from the youngsters who like the grey trend at the moment - that really was a boost!

burnishedsilver · 23/04/2016 11:44

I feel that I need to be a bit better groomed in order to look well as I age. The type of unkempt hair that looks cute at 20 looks dreadful at 40. I dont think the length makes any different so long as it looks well maintained.

Vinorosso74 · 23/04/2016 11:48

I'm v early 40s and had my long hair chopped off into an inverted bob about 3 and a half years ago partly as I was fed up with it and partly as I was getting older. I loved it for about 3 years but now I'm wanting longer hair again. Trouble is persevering with growing it out and I can't just tie it up yet.
I think hair length depends on condition and texture of your hair as well as face and general style.

tethersend · 23/04/2016 11:56

My grandma had her hair cut short in her late 30s. So did all her friends.

They also had all their teeth pulled out and a set of false ones made.

I like to think we've moved on Grin

Frostycake · 23/04/2016 13:10

I think it very much depends on the individual. Gorgeous hair is gorgeous hair whatever your age. If it suits you, have it long.

merrymouse · 23/04/2016 13:14

Advantage of short hair is that it is easier to keep in good condition (simply because you are chopping the ends off more frequently), particularly if coloured. However, that doesn't mean you can't keep long hair in good condition - just more effort.