Argh! Invited to a barbecue with thin, cool, designer clad people

[Acunningruse]

Argh! We have been invited to a barbecue at DPs colleague's next week and most people there will be super slim, achingly cool and are quite well off.

I on the other hand am 5 foot 1, a rotund sz12/14, shop in New Look or Dorothy Perkins and am decidedly not cool. I will also have to spend the day running after a toddler.

Could someone please either shoot me now as it will be less painful or failing that tell me what to wear?!
Thank you in advance

Oh dear. i don't shop almost at all for clothes so won't be much help but wanted to sympathise. I generally make a lot of my clothes which means I always look different to others. Generally this gives me nice compliments from the uber stylish folks as I'm different IYSWIM?

I suppose I'd just suggest wearing something you feel confident in that isn't brand new so can't be identified as coming from shop x.

Yep - smart, clean and well fitted, natural looking fabrics and maybe a statement necklace.

Something plain e.g. worn but not scruffy jeans, plain nice t-shirt or shirt, leather jacket if cold.
Or a smart tunic top in a plain/block colour over plain wide leg trousers, with some nice wedges or plain leather sandals (Palmeiras are nice and practical).

Or go cult/alternative e.g. If you have a style of music or vintage era dress with a nod to that or some vintage - the 'cool' cancels out the designer worry (but don't fake it if you don't iyswim).

Sounds hellish, don't go.

Some denim or chino shorts with a 'nice' top. Or failing that a Breton top. You're sure to fit in the yummy mummy genre then. Wear converse.

Thanks for the sympathy and advice. I think you are absolutely right PP who said classic and understated simple clothes are the way to go. I have jeans and a good white tshirt oe vest, no leather jacket tho and kimono feels a bit too cheap for this crowd. Hmm. alternative would be too wear a pretty summer dress, I have a few but they definitely are more mumsy than fashionable and just front it out with some shades. Jeans would be better from running after Ds perspective though. Hmm.

Sorry Squizita I was on the app and couldn't see your name whilst typing my reply

I would say make sure your clothes are ironed, do full make up and your hair, paint nails, wear jewllery and the overall look is more groomed and classy, even if the clothes themselves are cheaper.

most people there will be super slim, achingly cool and are quite well off.

Key word "most". Talk to the others first if it makes you feel more comfortable. They'll either be feeling like you or should be studied for confidence tips.

About the fashion I can give no advice, as I am neither skinny, fashionable or cool. However, rather than trying to be something you're not in order to fit in with other people, just be your fabulous self.

Wear whatever you feel your best in, whatever you feel flatters you the most and whatever you feel the most comfortable in.

Fabulous make-up, get your hair done, shades if you want, and go and have fun. The better you feel about yourself, the more relaxed you'll be and so the more fun you'll have.

I leave you only with this wonderful quote from F Scott-Fitzgerald, from Bernice Bobs Her Hair

'All right–I’ll just give you a few examples now. First, you have no ease of manner. Why? Because you’re never sure about your personal appearance. When a girl feels that she’s perfectly groomed and dressed she can forget that part of her. That’s charm. The more parts of yourself you can afford to forget the more charm you have'

Go knock em dead with your personal style and charm and have fun

Get a blow dry. Do your nails. Wear dark jeans and a tee shirt. Simple make up and simple jewelry. Enjoy. They're probably lovely, they just look intimidating.

my tips for the summer - white plus toddler spells disaster, keep a handy lovely scarf in your bag for immediate fashion fix and if in doubt remember the best accessory is a smile

Is it an evening do?

If so just wear something warm and laugh at the thin designer lot when they start complaining about the cold.

Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about what other people are wearing at barbecues. Just dress to please yourself.

Just because they are thin and dress well doesn't mean they are any less worried than you about what other people think...I shouldn't worry.

As others have said, keep it simple and understated but make sure your grooming is on point. Buy some nice earrings or similar and make sure you have flats on so you can chase DC!

Enjoy, I bet it will be much less stressful than you anticipate.

Op do you have good boobs? My skinny lovely friends are often lustful after good boobs. If you have cleavage perhaps that can be your secret weapon?

White linen blouse open to cleavage with statement necklace. M&s autograph did / do one in several different colours, I have white and pink versions. Unbeatable bbq staple. You can add jumper round shoulders if nippy / want to add dash colour. Dark high waist jeans. Have a great time and enjoy yourself.

What sort of thin and designer-clad? What sort of profession?

If it's a barbecue, surely everyone's going to be dressed down?

Jeans, t-shirt, cardigan/denim jacket? You could use it as an excuse to get a nice t-shirt.

For affordable, cool, 'intellectual' clothes, you can't best Cos.

For a fun but not naff t-shirt, uniqlo is great.

John Lewis collection/weekend is great for classic basics.

Have fun getting something new BUT the truth is, it WILL be less intimidating than you think. It's a party : it's being held so that people can meet and talk and be amused by other people. You're new, which is interesting for all of them. And THEIR function is to interest you.

Go with the aim of finding out as much about six people as you can. And spend a little time beforehand thinking about three funny things that happened this week and three ideas/issues that you are interested in/ have a bit of an opinion on.

And enjoy yourself.

How lovely that you have a party to go to!

It's a BBQ! As long as you don't look a COMPLETE mess, who is going to care?

I'd go for a nice summer dress, sandals (or converse if you have the legs to pull that off), and a cardigan around the waist.

Just avoid boring pale pastel colours, or wearing pearls to prevent it looking mumsy. Maybe a scarlet cardigan with matching lipstick.

And DEFINITELY don't tie anything around your shoulders. It's the fastest way to look like an old woman/yuppy prat known to man!!!

I'm in your camp Op. definitely uncool, unthin, and undesigner. I just make the most of myself. I'm a DP , BHs or whatever shopper and definitely a rotund 14. I do sneak into a 12 or 10 occasionally with vanity sizing.

I'm waiting for this to arrive.

www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/sale-offers-3422804/view-all-sale-4527816/dresses-203689/black-bling-neckline-dress-4472814?bi=0&ps=20

if its cool it can be worn with a little black jacket.

I've seen it in the flesh, they just didn't have my size. The material has a bit of stretch in it. It wasn't skimped and was a good weight...not flimsy.

That is a nice dress, but I would have looked way overdressed in that at any barbecue I have been to. Unless it is a wedding or very special occasion I wouldn't have thought people would really dress up for a barbecue.

I'm not especially cool and I'm a curvy 14 but, having been to a fair few BBQs over the years and this year with a mix of different people, I would suggest:

Blue denim cropped jeans or navy cropped trousers- it's all about the crop this year
Either wedge heels or Birkenstocks
A well-fitting tee with some kind of detail or silk mix - possibly in white or cream or maybe dove grey
A short sleeved cardie- lace is going to be A Thing for autumn winter 2015-2016 and I was noticing that Dorothy Perkins has one in at the moment in navy blue, but don't team with navy trousers, only blue jeans- you'll look like a ship's hand all in navy! Navy is a good colour for many and adds sophistication IMHO.
Nice jewellery- possible a chunky necklace or rose gold pendant (statement necklaces have begun beating a hasty retreat, I'd heard. Sigh - I love mine) professional blow dry, hair, nails (avoid matching toes with fingers) I'm loving Essie polish at the moment- lasts for ages.

But, above all else, stand tall, smile widely, kid yourself confident and be you. You ARE good enough! (Sage realised irony of final statement and vows to take leaf out of own book...)

Don't wear heels, unless they are wedge. There is nothing worse than trying to walk on grass in heels unless the weather has been bone dry for weeks.

"A short sleeved cardie"

I would make that a long sleeve cardigan. Unless you are in London, the evenings can be quite chilly now.

Spray tan , you will feel so much more confident whatever you wear

My go-to for these terrifying events are shift dresses on ASOS. A lot of them are short enough for your height, they're very forgiving around the tummy and there are some fiercely cool ones on there.

Also there's free returns so you can order about 5 of them, try them on, then give back what don't suit.