I just don't know what to wear any more...

[pantsjustpants]

Just that really! I've lost 3stone this year, so now I'm a 44 yr old mother of four (25, 23, 8 & nearly 3), size 12, pear-shape.

I find some things I like, but then I feel frumpy and horrible. I need to go shopping and just generally pull my wardrobe together, but I don't know where to start. I have some individual items that I love, but nothing seems to go together.

It's really denting my confidence....please help!

No advice - just wanted to say well done for losing 3 stone.

Thank you!

Well done on weight loss.
I've just discovered Boden and think their clothes are gorgeous. I've not managed to afford to buy any for me but have bought some things for my baby.
Depends what your budget is.

My budget is tight! But I really need to start getting some ideas from somewhere, so Boden might be a good place to start.

You can get an idea and if budget tight see if you can source some Boden & higher end clothes on eBay.

Also I love it when I see/meet people with gaps in their children's ages. Mine are 15, 5 & 5 months!
A tiny part would love another. My head says no, no room at the inn, no pennies in the old, too old (36) but my heart wants one more!

Well done on the weight loss!

If you're pear shaped then the general advice is to keep your bottom half simple and wear more striking things on top - to distract from wider hips/arse/thighs. I'd be tempted to start a second thread, specifically asking other pears for tips or there may be one around already if you do a search.

If you've not done so yet, I would read the bra threads and get yourself fitted. I'm a bit pear shaped myself but with the right bra, I'm practically hourglass!

But most important of all: you say you have some individual things that you love. What are they? I would start with them.

I am very similar in that I am 47, have 4 dc 25,18,16,9.
Have also lost a lot of weight thus year, almost 3 stone and am now size 6 to 8.

I wear skinny jeans with ankle boots and either long sleeve tee in one of my colours, ie either navy, grey,charcoal,dark green, berry.
usually layered over a tight fitting vest from Primark.
have rediscovered jumpers but I can only do fine knit, I like White Company,Jigsaw,Mint Velvet and Uniqlo.

I usually wear a scarf in toning colours, have purchased from White Stuff,Fat Face, Primark,Ebay,National Trust shops..

I also wear jersey dresses from Boden, silk dresses from Whistles,mint Velvet dresses, Great Plains.
above with knee boots or ankle boots at this time of year.

I like little jackets, leather or faux leather, Jersey bikers,boucle chanel style etc.

Bit of epic post there but hope I've helped!

Yes I like jackets too- and have many! and boots.
Just try to find what you like and suits you.
You could get some ideas on pintrest.
Well done on your weight loss.
I tend to think of frumpy as not plain enough- a bit too colourful, too big prints, too many extras going on or a bit too put together.
But that's just me. :)

I have a 3 or 4 dresses that I really like, and wear to death. A couple of Apricot at New Look and a couple of White Stuff ones. I find it hard to get the length just right, so.I tend to adjust them myself. I've got black and dark denim skinny jeans and enough boots to sink a battle ship.

I struggle with tops and I need jackets! My favourite jacket is too big now, good but gutted. Dh bought me a lovely pale blue coat but I've hardly worn it.

I think I have too much "stuff". I have a very well off sister with a serious shopping habit who's always giving me clothes , and good stuff that I feel I have to keep for some reason....

I forgot to say a huge thank you for your posts, they've helped greatly.

I've loved seeing other mums with big age gaps too, I get a little fed up with reactions of other people sometimes! I also have two granddaughters aged 6 and 2 and the most precious 2yr old grandson who has downs syndrome.

ohclutter I was 41 when I had my youngest, but I did struggle hugely with spd. I don't blame my age though, I have hyper mobile joints. Never say never!

Pants, if you can it would be a good idea to spend an afternoon at the shops, just seeing what you like, trying a few things on, but without buying anything, or not putting pressure on yourself to buy any thing.
I would have a look round Zara, Hennes, Gap and Primark to start off with.
Also when you like what somebody else is wearing, try to remember it, or even ask them where they got it from. Only ever buy something if you Love it, not because it will do, or it's a bargain, or practical.

I developed SPD in my third pregnancy Pants so would be worried about the effect a fourth would have. Still get a bit sore there now and little one is 5 months. Agree never say never, if I won the lottery I would in a heart beat.
Hope you get some lovely outfits to suit your new shape.

Thanks basking, I'm very guilty of that!

ohclutter I had a tiny bit with dc3, then it really got me with dc4. I was on crutches from around 16 weeks. Ds is nearly 3 and I still have problems too. Tis rubbish!

Congratulations on the weight loss!

I agree with a pp who said only buy if you love it, otherwise it'll just linger in your wardrobe and is a waste of money.

Pinterest is your friend, search for particular items (eg pencil skirt, skater skirt, teal cardigan etc) and pin any outfits you like and can imagine yourself in. It'll help you decide what you like.

Also, be honest to yourself about what suits you, both figure-wise and for your personality and lifestyle. I love the idea of chunky cardigans, they look fine on me, but every time I wear the ones I have I feel frumpy and not put-together.

Make sure you have wardrobe basics. So good jeans (if you like jeans), and some versatile tops that you feel happy in. A quick google for capsule wardrobe or wardrobe basics should help you out. Once you have the staples, you can take your time to slowly expand your wardrobe with pieces that you love and suit you.

If you can't get to the shops easily asos is useful as they have free returns, so you can buy a few sizes/items to try and not end up out of pocket due to shipping costs.