Male fashion crimes

[YouAreAMouseInAMaze]

To balance out all the critiquing of what women wear, can we discuss male fashion crimes? It seems to be that they are vastly more prevalent (and more aesthetically offensive).

My hit list this week:

• those awful suits in a sort of 'bright' navy blue (if that makes sense). I see a lot of men in the City wearing them. They are hideous
• brown shoes with a suit (unless you work in a creative industry)
• things not fitting properly, especially jackets which strain between the shoulder blades and trousers too short or long. (saw a photo of the Chancellor wearing a suit which was so badly fitted - how??)

I never used to notice these things but then I got a boyfriend who is like a living reincarnation of Jeeves and is always talking about clothes.

eek- where to start?

T shirts with motifs on any male over about 16- unless they are for a charity event on the day.

White socks unless playing sport

White trainers- ditto

Clumpy cheap black shoes- often slip ons- with a suit

short sleeved summer shirts- they look like some kind of cheap uniform. Either wear long sleeves and roll up if hot or wear a T shirt.

BTW OP- brown shoes ( usually brogues) with grey suits are classically the 'correct attire'.
Black shoes with navy and black suits.

Too-tight suit trousers on the large of arse. Eurgh.

Singlets / vests. Just horrible.

baggy knee or 3/4 length cargo shorts with polo shirt and trainers it's a uniform for some men.

"Fun" ties

Hawaiian print shirts on middle aged men.

Pleated trousers add bulk especially for those with a belly.

Anything from Blue Harbour at M and S unless over 60.
Baggy Jeremy Clarkson jeans
Cords
Balding hair in pony tail

agree with too tight trousers - disappearing up bum cracks.

My guy recently announced that he's too old for band t-shirts & hoodies. He's nearing 50. Looks good in Levi's, fitted shirts & leather jackets. Doesn't do tracksuits or cargo pants. Polishes his shoes & boots. Wears hats well.
My worst man style offenders are those grey jersey tracksuit bottoms, sliding skinny jeans (akin to falling-down tights) & loud Blind Date shirts.

Superdry t shirts.

In Essex we have the die-hard "It's August so I'm going to wear shorts " type , even if it's pissing down.

Top to Toe Brands (non-subtle branding)

And of course, the crotch-to-knee trousers with a good 4" of pants on show (if you're lucky) or bum cleft (if you're not)

Shapeless jeans
Shiny suits
Shirts that need a tie worn without the tie

T-shirts tucked into shorts or cropped trousers with sandals +/- socks & some sort of baseball cap

"The Giant Toddler" look

Those really tight suits so beloved of the Sartorialist where it looks like the fabric would tear if the men stretched their shoulders.
Blue jeans on men.
Beige on older men.
Sportswear when not doing sports.
General sloppiness.
Slogan tees unless exceptionally witty.

Chelsea boots
Black shoes with a blue suit (should always be brown/oxblood imo)
Black jeans and a black rock band t-shirt if over 25yo and 28 waist and not being an ironic teen
Jeremy Clarkson
Coloured cord trousers a la 'retired military officer/posh uniform'
Lumberjack shirts
Long hair
Wide knots in ties = too moss bros at a wedding
skinny ties and shiny suits = too estate agent
Shemagh/Keffiyeh = Checkpoint chic
Fake watches and jewellery in general (especially gold chunky identity or curb bracelets and pinky rings with initials on)
Wacky belt buckles

I really like a guy in a suit with brown shoes. Wish more guys would wear them.

Salmon-pink shorts
Man-cardigans
Those blardy baseball caps...I even have a friend who inflicts them upon her wee DS. Poor soul!
Short-sleeved shirts on men with a beer gut.
Flip-flops over the age of 30. No I don't want to see your hairy feet!

Some truly horrible fashion crimes identified here.

My pet hate: sweat pants worn outside the house/gym. Especially if they are showing pants or bum crack. Was on a train last week and there was a made-up stylish woman with her husband who was wearing a stained pair of these. I wanted to tap her on the shoulder and say LTB!

Also those 3/4 length cargo trousers. The ones with massive side pockets full of wallets, keys, phones, etc. Just face it, you need a man-bag!

Grubby white socks
Especially with slip-on shoes!
Loafers of any kind - but with little chains on = unforgiveable
falling down trousers (though they do make me laugh. Sometimes they are actually under the blokes actual bum so how do they stay up!?)
Track suit trousers don't bother me that much, but I hate it when they kind of don't restrain the meat & two veg properly and you can see them flopping around.
Awful blouson-type leather jackets. Usually seen on large 50+ men with aviators.

I also get a bit fed up of the hipster beardy/speccy/velvet jacket look, not because it's a bad look and actually I would love it if it was just someone's individual style. But because it's become a "sheep" look and I think oh come on. Think for yourself. They are 10 a penny round here.

Chelsea boots are very in now- don't rate them as a crime.

I do hate really pointy toed shoes though- where the point is a couple of inches longer than the feet in the shoe! They look so 'wide boy'/ estate agent.
Shoes are a real giveaway with men- a pair of classic Oxfords and polished brown brogues are best .

I also hate necklaces- why do older men wear chains?

The worst for me is the ultra pointy shiny shoes.

I hate to see greying chest hair peeping over the top of shirt where they have left the top buttons undone.

I like chest hair, but not white on show in the supermarket or where ever.

Re; the retired military officer/posh uniform- whenever I go to bring an old chap who is dressed like that (the older the better) I think "aah he'll be a nice polite gentleman" and 95% are! I love sweet old men in a coloured cord with a navy blazer preferably dh calls me a "granddad botherer" on the flip size we have a patient who scrapes his remaining
greasy hair into a tiny ponytail and I just want to cut it off

I think the average to chunky guy wearing tight skinny jeans with the really long pointy shoes that the toe slightly points upwards looks a little tryhard. and any guy wearing football/rugby shirt out and about especially on holiday

Short sleeve shirts are the worst, and those thin see through cheap white ones which look like school shirts. Guys in my office who are paid close to 6 figures and still wear these, take note!
Also those things that are like a t shirt but with fake long sleeves added to look like layering - the male equivalent of the hideous tank top and fake blouse thing you see some women wearing.

Oh, I like Chelsea boots!
Agree RE the blue suit must have brown shoes though.

My most hated thing on men is the baggy cargo 3/4 trouser thing. Has anything ever been less sexy?
Also those super tight black jeans the young boys wear that sort of expand into a baggy nappy-like area around the arse, with 3 inches of BHS underpant showing.
Also, excessive nose hair (bleeeuugh). How can a woman be married to a man with a forest coming out of his nose and not tell him!?

Double vent suit jackets, but that's just me being picky.

Shiny tracksuit bottoms tucked into socks. I saw this once while in the country and was horrified.
Shorts above the knee- I don't want to see some strange mans furry thighs!
Sandals...especially flipflops, I don't want to see big ugly man feet either.
Short sleeved shirts, especially the tight ones, makes the wearer look like a camp hairdresser.
Jeans exposing the bum cheeks.
Those horrible semi pornographic t shirts with naked women on them-these annoy me more then anything! They are absolutely vile.
Ugly shoes; those semi trainer, semi hiking shoes that geeky men seem to favour as office attire. They're always brown and SO incredibly ugly.
Shapeless jeans, i've noticed on american tourists in particular, the men all seem to favour a medium blue, utterly shapeless denim. My grandmother has more stylish jeans then these. Dad jeans?
Oh and people wearing sportswear that clearly do no sport, but i hate that on women too. What was with all the obese women in July squeezed into dri fit?