Lost my style mojo - how to dress for everyday without looking fugly

[40SomethingAndFabulouslyCluele]

My new name says it all. I used to be the tall, skinny one who could wear just about anything, but since becoming a mum, I've gained bags and sags in all the wrong places (please feel free to gloat away). My once elegant skinny jeans now just look dumpy, the floaty jumpers cling to my bulges and my fitted tops wobble with jelly belly. Nothing seems long enough to cover both bum and tum.

No chance of any exercise for a while, so what can a 40-something wear without looking frumpy? I like well-made, plain clothes, maybe with a quirky cut/detail, but nothing too formal/structured eg Hobbs (I don't have that kind of lifestyle!). I'm not afraid of colour, but not too many colours together.

I was thinking leggings/tunic-dresses might be the answer, or is that seriously past it?

I think you should wear what you like.
Hennes are good for leggings and tunics. I am lumpy and squeeze myself into skinny jeans in an attempt to hold myself in. Leggings are not strong enough for this job. I wear topshop and primark jeans.

I know what you mean about jeans. I've always struggled to find a good fit though and leggings just seem to be an easier option. My legs are fine, it's the middle bit!

Have a look at Cos, generally well made, do quite a lot of unstructured dresses, some colour.

Why can't you exercise?

You sound like you were one of those tall, glam, lean, sloane types - if that's true then you'll still have all the height and good bone structure, just need to tidy up the top layer.

My suggestion - buy some good jeans that fit, maybe straight leg rather than skinny? Higher rise to keep the belly supported. chuck out the clingy tops and get a few decent basics. Hobbs jersey tops look good, v neck or scoop neck if you feel a bit chunky. Nice jacket over the top?

I was the tall, skinny, glam one. Really lost my way after having babies, as I found it hard not being able to just throw on any old thing and look good .

But...I discovered dresses. I started with wrap dresses and dresses with drapey fronts to hide the mum tum when I was still a bit heavy. I've lost weight since then, but still find a well cut dress is so much more flattering to my figure than jeans and a top. I go for midi dresses for smarter wear, a tunic-style dress with tights or thick leggings and boots for casual. In warmer weather, knee/just below knee length dresses that accentuate my waist and boobs but skim the tum, with sandals.

When did you become a mum? I only ask as if it was recently it can take a while for the jelly belly to disappear and once it does it leaves crepey saggy skin.

I wrar jeans with a blouse and cardi most days. A blouse tends to skim rather than cling. At this time of year you can get lots of cotton ones or if you're not fused by fabrics (like myself) there are loads of viscose and poly ones about. Jeans wise I have tended to stick to gap real straight (too lazy to try on anything else!).

OP I am so with you. I recently went away with friends for a few days and stressed out every day about what to wear. It was rubbish. I can't do smart casual at all - am now 40, short, curvy and frumpy. Watching this thread with interest and I hope you find the sartorial answers to make you feel fabulous...

www.johnlewis.com/our-services/fashion-advice-service

I am the same so I have booked a free hour with a John Lewis personal stylist. I work in a mixed environment so anything from suits to jeans & everything in between. Yet it is so hard to look presentable in the morning.

I am also following the 30 day shred programme to tone my jellp belly.

www.johnlewis.com/our-services/fashion-advice-service

Watching with interest. Dresses are not me, and not with two boisterous boys either. No one wants to look at my lumpy thighs when I'm playing football, least of all me ?

Yikes, just re-read my thread and realised I come across as a desperate footballer's wife!! Sooooo far from the truth! (Was crying with laughter at your comment TheGrassIsSinging.)

Tall and lean yes, glam and 'one of those sloane types' (whatever you mean by that), no. Have tried but failed to find a good fitting pair of jeans. I have a hollow back, so everything gapes at the back unfortunately, even with the jelly belly.

Exercise is on hold because I'm preoccupied with work and s non-sleeping little one, and I'm too short on time and too tired to face night wakings when shattered from exercise. I used to do loads of sport, which is why I was so lean, but have done nothing since DD arrived (about 2 years ago). Jelly belly has only recently appeared now that she's walking (so I'm not burning the calories carrying her everywhere) and now spend the day sitting in an office

I did have a quick look at the blog before MNHQ deleted the post, they are all sooo glam, and not a sticky handprint in sight. How do they do it?!

I think unstructured dresses might be the way forward for me. I'm flat chested and pear shaped so anything clingy is a disaster. Oh to have some Nigella curves! The blouse/cardi option is what I'm tending to do now, but am just feeling lumpy and grumpy because my jeans are too tight.

Actually lumpy and grumpy sums me up pretty well today.

I'd love to hear how you get on with the JL stylist, MsDiamonds. Do keep us posted!

What's the 30 day shred?

I find jeans, top and jersey blazer a really easy outfit to wear day to day. I got the navy jersey blazer in Whistles with the 25% off and have wore it loads already. I also find Warehouse very good for tunics and tops that can look good during the day but also for casual night out, and also very handy to have a few Breton tops as they go with everything. For jeans I either wear Salsa or M&S jeggings but jeans are so personal.