Please tell me this drawn, worn out and haggard face in the mirror can be rejuvenated!

[Contemplates]

I have never looked this old and depleted.

I'm worn out with a serious illness, a broken marriage and two preschool children, and can barely get through each day. It's more of fighting fires and treading water than actually 'living', and it shows on my face.

Will I ever look like myself again?

Yes you will. What a tough time you've had. I hope you are recovering from your illness? All this stuff will slowly move behind you and you will start to rediscover you. Your lovely dc will get older and you'll suddenly have more time for youself. Why don't you treat yourself to a new haircut/item of clothing/make up. Something just for you

A big cuddly ((((hug)))) for you.

Pre school DC are such hard work never mind broken marriage or illness.

I suggest OCM (oil cleansing method). I use hazelnut oil or rice bran oil to cleanse my face. Lots of websites recommend you mix with castor oil. I wouldn't. It's harsh and liable to break you out in spots.

You massage the oil into your skin and sit for a moment/minute. Then using a flannel or old muslin which has been rinsed in water as hot as you can stand, and wring out you cover you face with muslin/flannel and then wipe oil off in down wards motion. And rinse flannel and repeat.
If skin feels dry after, apply a few drops of oil.

If you're feeling "aged" (I'm 40 with a preschooler and 1 in reception and short of sleep so often feel "aged") get a small bottle of pomegranate seed oil and use that or rosehip.

I get my oils from www.akamuti.co.uk

It's made the most amazing difference. If only I had known about this when I was 18!!!

If you want an extra boost you can do an aspirin face mask. Buy a cheap £39p pack of aspirin. Take 4-6 tablets and mix them with a few drops of water. Once they have dissolved into a paste. Apply to face and wait a couple of minutes. Then gently wipe off and rinse. And take really good care to avoid getting any in your eyes. It sting. Aspirin dissolves into salacylic (sp?) acid which helps skin cell turnover and exfoliation without rubbing.
It will get you smooth glowing skin. And great for removing blackheads etc.

Oh and don't buy expensive hair oils. Just use a few drops of the oil you cleanse with in wet hair after washing.
Make sure you don't use too much.

Oh and eating healthy fats. such as avocado, coconut oil, nuts etc. it will help your body (and give you glowy skin )

that website is great, would you say the Hazelnut or Ricebran oil is best for sensitive skin?

I would recommend taking a good vitamin supplement too. (More sleep if possible)

But don't be too hard on yourself.

Pirate. I suffer from rosacea so mega sensitive.
I use both hazelnut and rice bran.

I find rice bran oil amazing for removing makeup and it calms my skin and has seriously toned down the redness on my face to the point where its now hard to tell I suffer from
Rosacea. I used to look like this

Hazelnut oil is fab for hair as its high in protein. I also rub some on my skin occasionally and use to OCM if I've run out of rice bran oil.

The tiny £3-£4 pomegranate and raspberry seed oils are so worth it. You need such a tiny amount for your face so they literally last months or even a month if used daily.

Thank you so much for your lovely replies of hope!

Honestly, it's felt so depressing and you've thrown me a life-line so thank you.

Hi contemplates, hope you feel better soon.
Great advice from MrsFlorrick and good idea about taking a multivitamin as Mrswellyboots suggested.
I use daily the Dermaflannel from Bravura London, even over my lips. It may seem a bit pricy but as all you use is water it's much cheaper than chemical peels. I'm almost 57 and it leaves my skin looking and feeling great. There's a youtube video on how to use it. (Sorry, can't link as on phone)
Another thing that works very well for me is facial excercise. My eye area has improved so much. Also disappearing top lip is back and lines around mouth almost totally gone. The facial exercise regime(if you can call it that as I go for weeks hardly doing it)I follow recomends lightly tugging on skin to encourage collagen production.

thenumberseven what are the facial exercises you do?

I can also recommend Akamuti. I've been using them on and off for years. The rice bran oil is great for cleansing and lasts forever. I've just started using the pomegranate oil.

Naicecuppatea I do the Ageless if you Dare. Have tried others but if it takes too much of my time I just end up not doing them.Also I find some of the other methods too awkward or complicated. The Ageless method I do while watching TV or laying in bed. Others swear by FlexEffect or the Eva Fraser method. To me Ageless is simply the easiest there is while still giving results

A face mask/ treatment like Clarins Beauty Flash Balm perks up skin. Use a serum under your moisturizer. Exfoliate twice a week.use an eye gel for day & eye cream for night.
BB creams are good for a light cover easy to do in the morning. Have your eyelash & eyebrows tinted & eyebrows shaped. Wear a lengthening mascara & a nude lipstick with a rosy subtle blush for a barely there make up look.

Contemplates.

You will get there. Obv more sleep is great but that doesn't help you now.

Healthy fats to eat with veg and lean protein. And oils for the face and aspirin face mask. Some people
Also swear by yogurt masks and cleansing with honey.

Yogurt didn't do anything for me but honey is great. I use it as a mask.

These are all very cheap suggestions and easy ones too.

Someone else suggested blusher and lipstick/lip colour.
I second that. A nice easy to apply foundation (ask if you want suggestions)
Blusher/ bronzer will lift your face and your spirits.

If you want other suggestions pls ask.

If you want to get fit I have a few suggestions too.

That's really great - I've been to the akamuti website and ordered the oils you suggested (they will be delivered Wed apparently). I do use a little bit of make up but am finding it leaves my skin looking pale and even more dull, even though it's an illuminating light-reflecting one called clarins skin illusion. Depending on the shade of my skin (ie summer or winter) I use that or Lancôme teint miracle. I thought about trying bare minerals but haven't been able to drive the 20 mile round trip to the nearest counter in Boots and have no idea what colour I'd fit into so probably need to actually have a trial first.

Funnily I don't use blusher as I usually have rosy cheeks which shows through the foundation, although even that seems to have dulled a bit for the moment so perhaps I should invest.

I've drunk a lot of water and eaten avocado and other good oils (almonds and salmon) so feel that I've made a decent start. I kind of knew my diet wouldn't help but I've been eating quick fixes for energy as I'm so tired but sugar really isn't the answer! and it's good to have been reminded.

Make up suggestions from me are ones without silicones as my face cannot tolerate any at all (dimethecone etc).

These are beyond fab. Works as light coverage, full coverage and concealor in one. Apply with fingers or foundation brush. I was recommended the real techniques brushes on MN and they are amazing!

Spensive one. But flawless.
www.naturisimo.com/products_other.cfm?id=5352&type=Foundation&makeup=1

This one cheaper and the tiny pot lasts about 4/5 months if used every day. It's my fave. Your skin can breathe you feel like you're wearing nothing.
Beauty

Bronzer. I'm very pale and I use this one.
Beauty

You could always try bare minerals or lily Lolo. Sadly as flawless as they looked on me, both irritated my rosacea and made my face very sore red and bumpy. However if you're not afflicted or sensitive you may do very well with these.

Or
www.naturisimo.com/products_other.cfm?id=851&type=Foundation&makeup=1
This is ace. It's more like a bB or a CC cream than foundation. Too little coverage for me mostly but if you're flawlesser than moi it could be good and its not expensive.

I think the bare minerals bronzer are better than lily Lolo. They were too dark and orange for me sadly.

You could also try neals yard mineral powder foundation. Very very glowy and the only powder I can actually use as it doesn't irritate. Not much coverage but amazing as a finishing powder or a foundation if you're skin is nice.

Just stopping to send you a quick hug as didn't want to read and run.Sounds like you have had a heck of a time.

Lovely suggestions on this thread.

mrsflorrick all this info is great, thanks for all the suggestions. i might start with the oil. x

Thanks for all the tips and support.

Can I ask how you know which colour is right for you - is there any way to get hold of a tester sample pot or actually visit someone to trial it before buying? If I tried to match my colour online I would spend several hundreds getting it right!

If your skin isn't sensitive, I'd try a Lily Lolo mineral makeup rather than bare minerals.
It's half the price, better coverage and far fewer ingredients. It's super quick and easy to apply.
They do tester pots for a couple of quid and their colour guide online will help you get it spot on.

With my other two suggestions, you will have to shell out as there are no testers.

There is a shop in Marylebone in London where you can try both on. However that may be too far for you.

I can help you if you like. The RMS beauty is best for a yellow or neutral under tone in your skin

If you have pink undertone it's not for you.

Kjaer Wiess is neutral towards pink.

I'm very yellow/golden under tone but pale so I can only just wear Kw and look best in RMS.

I am an 11 in RMS. if it helps their most popular shade is 22 so darker than me (I wear 22 in the summer).

Again if your skin isn't sensitive or reactive, I'd try Lily Lolo. It makes you flawless. And so many shade options and good price. I'm so annoyed my stupid sensitive rosacea face won't tolerate it! I've never had as many compliments on flawless skin as I did when I wore that stuff.

Here
www.lilylolo.co.uk/sp+face-mineral-foundation-spf-15+001

Their sample pot is actually only £1.49. So you could easily buy a few to try the colours.

Again only if your face isn't super sensitive.

I would be so tempted to try lilylolo but my skin is very sensitive. Shaving gives me a rash, my skin blotches easily, although I'd say my face is the most hardy of all, but hard to tell if that's because I've used 'kind' products on it (clinique comforting cleansing cream and olay multi-radiance moisturiser etc). Maybe I will trial it and see how it goes as the samples don't cost much?

Ah. Sensitive.

Depends. Are you sensitive to zinc oxide (mineral sunscreen or sudocreme?)?

I'm very sensitive to sudocreme in aprticar. Hence I can no longer use powder minerals. I can use RMS asit has no zinc oxide.

I hasten to add that most people with sensitive skin find zinc oxide soothing. And lily Lolo
Is billed as being perfect for sensitive skin.
I wore it on my wedding day and I looked amazing. Wish I looked that bloody amazing now! (Old hag emoticon).

Tester pots worth a go given the price.

Btw Olay stuff is full of silicones so if your skin is happy with that you can tolerate most stuff.

I'm just wanting to warn as much as poss as I'd hate to recommend something which gave someone else a bad reaction. ESP for facial
Stuff. Nothing worse than wandering around with a red coupon because you were suckered into buying the lastest greatest thing.

Haha - funny. Actually I might get away with it as my facial skin seems a little more hardy than the rest of me.

Worth a try for less than a fiver! Thanks again