C'mon, how do I get my raddled old hag body Beach Ready in a month?

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Ideas welcome.
Except anything surgical , thank you.

What do you all do before you expose yourself to the world and it's unforgiving eyes?

TIA

I understand your dilemma. I've gone the Jillian Michaels route and lots of body brushing.

It has helped, as I'm not as raddled and haggish as I was and I still have 2 weeks to go.

30 day shred, moisturise after bathing and tbh just be confident! I am lucky to spend most of my time at the beach/pool in the summer months and people really don't stare/comment on shapes and sizes I have found. The only time I have ever noticed people is when they are trying to hide under t-shirts or wraps, and I think that's a real shame that they are conscious of their body rather than enjoying themselves.

Honestly, I just take my body to the beach and then it is ready. The more you cover up, the more you are conspicuous (though I do wear a one piece).

I am not the body beautiful by any means but my Bod's got just as much right to be there as the lithe lissom beauties!

Thanks

If I get the waxing, body scrubbing and a light fake tan going before I go then that's head start. Tan accelerator too .
I don't drink alcohol (but maybe too much coffee) but I'll increase the water.

Hair cut/colour I'll get sorted the week before I go.
Sun protection already bought.

I know (deep down) if I put on a bikini or swimsuit and a sarong/ light sundress that no-one will bat an eyelid really. I'll wear my dark glasses so they can't meet my eye.

I fancy some false nails (my own nails are ruined by handwashing and latex gloves) I've got Nail Envy on at the moment but I need to remove it and file them for work.
Thinking about a set of acrylic or gel nails for the last couple of weeks of the DC holidays (we're away for one week) but how much damage do they do?

And I've seen Nuxe Dry Oil. (Gold is nice, smells lovely) Might invest in a bottle for evenings.