Made an appt to get my grey hair dyed - now I'm having a wobble...

[Quenelle]

I've had a grey streak in my dark brown hair for 20 years but the grey is spreading over my head now and I don't like it.

I've always resisted dyeing it before because I like the main colour of my hair and once you start how do you stop but my grey hair is not a nice look. My hair is almost shoulder length and frizzy and I can't/don't have time to spend time blowdrying or straightening so I usually scrunch it and leave it to dry naturally with curl creme, unfortunately this just makes the grey streak look like a scruffy piece of rope.

I am ageing in a scruffy and unkempt way, rather than gracefully and elegantly, and I need to do something about my looks to give my confidence a boost.

So anyway, I've made an appointment for a cut and colour on Saturday but now I'm having a wobble about the colour bit. I don't like the idea of an unnatural-looking colour and I hate the idea of roots showing after a few weeks. Will it be a huge mistake? Should I just get a good cut? I want an elegant, easy to look after, feminine style but don't think I could style it properly.

Please does anyone out there have a solution for me?

Your hairdresser will probably give you a great colour, dry it, shine it and straighten or bend it until it looks amazing.

You will go home wash it, dry it and attempt to style it in the same way and it won't happen. And within three weeks your grey streak will be back and very obvious to you.

Before you commit to dying ask your hairdresser to cut you in a low maintenance style - one that does not require loads of faff. Find a good product to reduce frizz (not Frizz Ease maybe an oil) try to leave it to dry naturally if possible and see if you can learn to live with your streak. It will save you a fortune because you won't be paying for colour all the time and you may come to like your natural silver threads.

You can be graceful and elegant with grey hair.

Oh.

LifeofPo I felt momentarily better when I read your post but Whitecat you have expressed exactly what I was worried about.

I have found a few styles that look easy to care for. Perhaps I should try one with my natural colour for a while.

Thanks both for posting.

If after having you lovely new haircut you really can't tolerate your natural colour then look at dying it.

Grey hair does seem to behave differently to the rest of your hair so tame it half the battle is won. There are loads of people on here thinking about going grey and plenty that have done it so you won't be alone.

Don't dye it. It becomes an endless treadmill. The dyes always go too dark initially, they then oxidise after two weeks and by the third you have to have the roots done again. It costs a fortune and everyone can tell who has dyed hair and who doesn't. if you do it yourself you invariably get colour build up on the ends which then leads to root glow.

Once the grey comes in strong at the temples it can be quite resistant to colouring which then means you have to triple process the blighter. I have stopped dyeing my hair two months ago and have just buzzed in time for the school holidays. It is such a relief. The colour coming through is so much more flattering to my complexion and I think I looked older with the dyed helmet hair than all the lovely tones I have in it now.

So I second the advice of just getting a good cut and getting the products right.

I am in my late thirties and had dyed my hair for over twenty years. Do you know what- it is only now I feel happy with the colour I have got.
Best wishes x

Picture on profile.x

Think your profile is private Practicality. Being nosey as in same situation.

Try again now x

Practicality I can't see your pic and I really want to after reading your post!

Well i have just gone into my account and ticked the bit where all mumnetters can view and then gone into my profile and clicked on what public can access and it clicks into my photos. Can you let me know what I have missed?

Practicality you look fabulous. You can carry the grey off because you have a beautiful face. Tell me more about triple processing temple greys. I have them and they don't colour!

I just get my roots done in the colour nearest my hair. I only have a semi permanent put in, and won't let her comb it through as rest of hair is still dark.

It definitely doesn't look helmet head, as it has loads of different coloured hair.

If and when I stop doing it, I am hoping the semi perm will eventually wash out...

Thank- you that is so kind. I am just of the view that everyone looks better with their natural hair colour after seeing my mum stopping with the beige lion and embracing her beautiful silver white hair. She looks so much younger with her natural hair.There is this myth around grey hair that it ages people. I think in the majority of cases (especially if you are cool toned) nothing flatters more than what grows naturally out of your own head.

I think a lot of women feel scared because of the unnatural contrast when it grows through but that is down to the dyed hair reflecting back on the silver. Until you get all the dye off you don't know what you have got.

With respect to triple processing- you have to bleach/prelighten the hair before putting on the perm dye. It is only that that would make the hair porous enough. I never got a natural result though. If I tried even an ash colour it wouldn't be cool enough because hey all have too much red in them to counter the hair turning green. As the dye washes out/fades this undertone becomes apparent.

I am happy to be free of it. I think for a lot of people they don't think about NOT dyeing it. It has almost become a knee jerk reaction to seeing grey that you have to dye it. You don't have to and you won't look 'old'.x

LIFEOFPO - I CAN CHANGE MY LIPSTICK WITH MY MOOD AND TO SUIT MY SKINTONE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT WIH HAIR DYE. NICE BIT OF CATTINESS ON YOUR PART....

Apologies re caps lock. Changed computers and didn't check.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It is hard to go grey when the rest of the hair is so dark. I've been ok with just the stripe since I was in my early 20s but now it's starting to pepper all over my head I don't feel attractive. And the grey hairs don't curl like the rest, they just look messy and wiry.

Practicality, you really suit short hair. Sadly I don't have the features and, after being forced to have short hair as a child, I don't want to go that short again. But I do hate the idea of being stuck on a dyeing treadmill once I start.

I'm going to try a new style first and see how I feel about it. I have more time to spend on styling my hair in the mornings now that DS is old enough to take care of himself more so perhaps I can achieve a more groomed, elegant look without taking any drastic action.

I meant to add, it's not easy this getting old business is it?

Since I turned 44 earlier this year I've been really noticing the ageing effects. I have resolved to be a little more vain and look after my appearance more.

Quenelle check out 'The Highland fashionista'. She has the tones you speak about and I think she looks most excellent.

it sounds like you need to find the right product ( and they are out there ) to smooth the stragglers down.

I am aiming to grow my hair long before my fortieth birthday as I couldn't before because my hair was always trashed by the time it got to 3-4 inches.

Good luck OP x

NO worries Lifeofpo.x

I'm all for choice. I just wanted to put forward that grey is a choice too and women can look great with it especially for those who are prematurely grey and for whom it is getting more and more difficult to keep on top of it.

If you are as dissatisfied with it as I was with respect to the colour never turning out quite right and looking like you have bald spots after two weeks because the contrast is too great, it might well be worth exploring this option. Many women have no idea how fabulous their natural hair is - silvers and all.

I will leave my pics up for a couple more hours. I will update in a couple of months if anyone is interested when more of the silver I have on top is visible (it is laying forward but I do have a fair amount on top too).