I hate dresses, but I'm not allowed to go dressed as a man.
I'm a size 18 apple, about 5'6" with terrible legs, actually, pretty terrible everything it feels like. I'm pale with dark red hair.
I'm thinking I'll need to look for a flapper-style dress in a dark colour ideally which is as tummy-minimising as possible, which I'll probably wear with those M&S miracle tights and Spanx, and some hopefully flapper-appropriate shoes from Evans (to accommodate my flipper feet!) Then a clutch bag and some flamboyant jewellery, and whatever it is that chunkier flappers use to cover their bingo wings 
If annyone can recommend dresses, shoes, accessories and arm-coverers I'd be very grateful!