Wearing clothes that aren't "me"? (bit long and probably boring!)

[CarpeJugulum]

How can I get out of a rut with my clothing and underwear?

I am a product of my DM; she was very conservative in her clothing. She never wore branded clothing or clothing with slogans/images (a discrete logo was as far as it went), her undies always matched - either white, nude or black - never colour; in general it was very bland, although it was her IYSWIM. The most "far out" thing she wore was a hot pink jacket over a navy dress for my wedding - she looked fab, but took it off as quickly as possible!

I've lost weight (yay!) and I'm starting to replace clothing as and when I can. And I've realised that I have nothing in my wardrobe that isn't like my DM's was! Everything I have is self-coloured apart from 3 stripey tops; there is no pattern anywhere other than my tartan PJ's.

I've been looking round shops, and I see a top and think - I like that, friend x wears a top in a style similar to that and looks great, but I can't wear that. And there is no reason why I shouldn't try it on - other than I think it's not "me" and people will laugh at me and think I'm trying to be something I'm not. I recently purchased a top from Debenhams with flowers on it (this one and got a load of compliments when I wore it. But to be honest, it was a "I'm not sure, but desperately need a top" purchase.

I don't have many female friends that I can go shopping with - and I don't know how to break the mind set that I can't wear things that are not plain as they aren't what I wear!

Help!

I was in your situation not long ago. So for what it's worth, here's what I did.

Booked an appointment with the personal shopper in John Lewis in Milton Keynes (free and no compulsion to buy anything). Explained situation to her. Tried on EVERYTHING she suggested. Was pleasantly surprised by how nice it looked.

Began to read Avril's School Gate Style blog which is brilliant and kept it in mind while wondering round the shops.

Fought the compulsion to wear my normal uniform (which in my case was jeans and a hoody).

Don't get me wrong, I am no style icon, but I certainly feel better dressed now.

Well I used to be all colour/flowers/patterns/images on my clothing. But now I'm turning to your mother's style and I thinks it is great. So, not very helpful, sorry.

The top's lovely.
Just go and try different things on or how about booking a personal shopper at somewhere like John Lewis or Debenhams. You wouldn't actually have to buy everything you liked but you would get an idea of what suits you.

Sorry x post.

Hmm... I've done a personal shopper at Debenhams before, but I always felt pressured to buy things; and it was usually for an occasion (wedding/party).

Maybe I need to get a thicker skin and just explain what I need.

I think the personal shopper idea is good, perhaps elsewhere if you've felt pressured before. I'm planning a style overhaul when I've lost my baby weight, and I'm going to use my Pinterest board to pin things I like the look of, in the meantime.

Agree with John Lewis personal shopper , you're also more likely to get someone older and less pushy IMO. Butt you sound like someone who's just not that interested in clothes at the moment, so I think you should take some time and immerse yourself in style online. Have a think about why you like some things and not others, picture yourself wearing this that and the other -take an intelligent interest.

It's not the be-all-and-end-all but it can be fun to dress well , especially if you've got a half decent figure

Or find a mner who lives near you who would take you off shopping

I feel like this about clothes too and did find the John Lewis service really good. I've been about 4 times, sometimes for big events but also for everyday clothes. The one time it didn't work so well was with a younger stylist (probably 20 years younger than me).

The other thing about feeling pressured is that you can always take things back!

PS can I have a mner to take me shopping?

you have to say where you live!

London

I am having a fashion wake up too right now Carpe as I look really scriffy and cba all the time.

I was looking at a fashion blog someone recommended (puttingmetogether I think) and it inspired me to go out a buy a pair of turquoise skinnies (ahve never worn skinnies before, let alone trousers in a bright colour) and gave me loads of ideas about accessories/wearing things in different ways.

I have also asked my younger Dsis who is really into fashion to recommend some blogs to me and signed up to pinterest to get more ideas.

Hmm... John Lewis sounds like a better bet then... and probably a more expensive one too though!

DameFanny has hit the nail on the head when she says that I'm not interested in fashion - I'm not really, but equally I don't want to spend the rest of my life in poloshirts (baggy) jeans and slightly fitted t-shirts.

I'm also going to have to head back to work soon (argh!) and I don't think I have anything in my wardrobe that I can wear.

Harking back to my DM, she was quite old school in that you had your Sunday best, your work clothes and then your home clothes; except I don't think I can afford to do that - I think it'll be tops I can dress with nice trousers or more casually with jeans, and then a few crappier tops for wearing when I'm cleaning/cooking or slobbing of an evening.

I do have a Debenhams voucher, so may make an appointment for them - and find a trendy MNetter to slap me round the head