Tethersend - indulge me please....

[BedBugsBeware]

you really are the Queen of S & B, the "go to" girl in times of crisis - but who are you? Please indulge my idle curiosity - do you work in fashion, how do you know the things you know, are you always impeccably dressed, are you a long haired brunette or a cropped blonde.. And, last but not least, tell us all - with only one shop to get to before closing time, where would Tethersend go?!

Of course...

I am between 25 and 75 years of age

I work as a roadsweeper, but write the Telegraph crossword in my spare time.

I know everything due to MI6 implanting a microchip in my brain at some point during the early 90s.

I tend to dress in an eclectic mix of Windsmoor and Juicy Couture, with Primark accessories and an Hermes scarf. And fitflops.

My hair is pure spun gold. At least that's what the bloke on the market said when I bought it off him.

Last shop before closing time would undoubtedly be Threshers.

Genius!

Ah Threshers - what a gal!

Oh yes, and I almost forgot. I'm a Genius.

Genius indeed, as all the Threshers have now closed down.

And I am a time traveller. And a genius.

Threshers closed down??! Oh no - I'm glad I live abroad :)
But she is still a genius

oooooh - with that sense of humour and having heard the rumour I think you're Victoria Beckham. Though I have no idea how you have time to be Sartorial Queen of Mumsnet and run your own fashion business and be a lovely mummy and role model too.

I'm beginning to sense some hostility... It's almost as if you don't believe I'm a genius.

I believe!

Don't sully Tethersend's name and reputation by mentioning VB in the same sentence.

Why not? I think Victoria Beckham is great and a good role model for young girls. She works hard and has a lovely family, and after seeing a documentary a few years ago, I realised she has a great sense of humour too.

I cant believe someone mentioned sense of humour and VB in the same sentence!

Gillybobs she has a very subtle and self-effacing sense of humour. I was surprised as anyone but she had me in stitches.

That's me- subtle and self-effacing.

I'm a subtle and self-effacing genius.

I've imagined tethers to have a Louise Brooks bob

I've imagined tethers to have a Louise Brooks bob, one that needs trimming every week or so... that she wears lovely scarves and smells really nice, wearing a perfume that nobody else has.
I think there'd be some serious jewellery involved, vintage diamonds and a nice brooch that originally belonged to Coco Chanel... And that she spends her day looking through old copies of Vogue and drinking unusual tea.

This may all be a load of bollocks and she's actually a sweaty trucker called Dave, who lives in manky old tracksuits.

Please Tethers - tell us that, yes, you are Dave the sweaty trucker!

I think she has a very high maintenance Anna Wintour bob, blow dried every morning by a cowering lackey. Then it's shades on and off to scream at a few more interns.

I think worldgonecrazy is VB!!

VB and sense of humour in the same sentence seems to be an oxymoron. I saw her being interviewed by Ali G once and she was completely, frighteningly dim. And her husband was even worse.

Tethers, on the other hand, is clearly a genius.

But she still hasn't found me a red dress that I like.

:)

Remus, you are my nemesis...

Another VB fan, also seen interviews where she is very amusing and self deprecating. Sorry, off thread....... Just had to drop in to defend VB :)

I'm MUCH better at self-deprecation than she is.