Arrgggghhh. Why do online stores never show clothes as they actually look on normal people, not just beautiful stick people who'd look good wearing a banana skin and a crisp packet?

[twentypoundsover]

I'm trying to update my wardrobe a bit. That's a slightly poncey way of saying I'm trying to buy some nice clothes without paint, glue or baby vomit on so that I look like I am in my thirties and not wearing a sack.

I've just been looking at websites. All the clothes are presented in an arty drapey way or on stick thin smiley long-haired people who say what their worst ever pasta nightmare is in a little caption, or look brooding, or skip through grassy fields. I want to know how the stuff will look when on a size 16 body with a tummy that's carried 3 babies and is frankly a bit saggy all over. I find it very hard to work out what'll look good and what'll look hideous as it all looks bloody wonderful on the stick people but when used to cover a lumpy bumpy mortal may either make me look like a tart or like my mother.

just having a whinge. Perhaps I should have put this in aibu...

I think this is why you're supposed to try them on :o
Agree though

yanbu!

It would also be helpful if the captions contained information that's actually HELPFUL - like 'A skirt designed to cover a multitude of sins in the arse area' or 'A godsend if you're trying to disguise your saggy gut'.

oh I know. All the websites that helpfully state the size of the model always say something like "the model is 6 ft and wearing size XS". Yes, that will certainly give me an idea what it will look like on me. Not.

presumably linked tot he recipe sites: allow 5g of pasta per person, or 2 for a starter
Yes, if your guests are sparrows

Yeah, I got the need for 'styling' in these things, but it's getting totally daft.

The worst thing is when something is totally age-innapropriate. If I want, say, a dress to wear to work (at 29), then seeing it pinned onto a 15 yo model is not going to appeal to me. Why do the marketing ppl of these companies not fecking get it?!