Please help me find a formal party dress! Am having a midlife crisis...

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

I really, really need help. Need to order something on line because I live overseas but I feel so stuck in a rut. I am a size ten, not fond of my bum and can't wear anything that clings there but alright apart from that. Quite short so masses of material/ long no good. Specifically, I need a dress for cocktail parties. SOmething that isn't too structured, doesn't make me look like a bridesmaid and isn't too middle aged.

I think I am struggling because I'm currently having a crisis around feeling old and looking haggard. I so want something pretty and flirty but without being too young. Please, please can you help? Budget is flexible.

Just how flexible is the budget?

This is lovely...] as is this

lovely
classy
bright

So sorry to post and run (dd who is sick woke up and refused to be put down) and thanks for the replies!

Tethersend, budget is probably around the blue dress you posted and not the black one. But I'd be equally happy with something from topshop or ebay if it did what I needed. Of the two you posted, the black one won't work on my bum. I really need something that won't cling. I like the blue one a lot but wonder if it falls into the category of a bit too much material given how short I am?

Faux: all lovely dress but they all look like bum clingers! I guess I need something that either goes out or have loose-ish material. But thanks for looking and other suggestions would be really appreciated!

Some suggestions:
here
here
blue
floral
mink

red from coast
navy strapless
this looks like it could drape a bum nicely
choice of 2 colours in size 10

Helmut lang

Vivienne Westwood

Elizabeth and James

Lanvin

Phillip Lim

Marc Jacobs

Preen

Jaeger

Jaeger again

The blue Satin Crossover Dress from Jaeger that Tethers posted is lovely IRL. Good shape but not clingy. I currently have three of them hanging in my wardrobe as it's the dress my bridesmaids will be wearing! It's not as shiny as in the pic - a bit more like a shot silk effect.

I love this dress from Coast, I have it in black and it's so flattering

fashion.coast-stores.com/search?asug=&country=GB&w=Jocasta

OP's not been back to the thread, seemingly. Annoying.

I am here! Sorry I know how irritating it is when someone posts and clears off. DD's been in hospital this morning (nothing it seems that antibiotics won't cure) but I'm a bit distracted with her at the moment. Like some of the dresses here and will try and post more when DD is finally in bed. Sorry again to disappear.

OK dd in bed. Thanks for all the response. So I love the Lanvin one posted by tethersend. Really love it and it is the kind of thing I am looking for but given that it clings to the models (very toned) bum then I know it will be a disaster on mine. Many of the rest are just too structured to fit what I am looking for. I like the idea of the Elizabeth and James one but not sure the colour is good for me. The coast one posted by minibmw is nice but again, a bum clinger surely?

I realise I am being hopeless about this. I really want something a bit flirty and not structured. Does that make any sense?

Thanks again to all of you for trying to help!

Just a quick one, but don't worry that the Coast Jocasta is clingy, though it's satin it's the kind that doesn't cling but let's you feel that it's supporting and holding you in.

Thanks! But there's nod disguising how big my bum is at all in things that even vaguely cling! i really need something that is looser on the bottom half I think. But thanks for the suggestion.

Right, I think these are all non-bum clingy- although I am deeply sceptical about a size 10 bum being that big

Givenchy

Wallis (also in black and red)

Halston heritage

Malene Birger

Temperley

Hugo Boss

Carven

Cerruti

wow they are gorgeous tethers!

Tethers you are amazing at this! OK so I totally love the Halston Heritage dress but..... IT'S SOLD OUT! I might cry. I'm quite keen on the Temperly one too. Do you think, given that I am short, it could risk making me look school girlish? It is beautiful.

Thanks so much for looking and posting all these links, I really appreciate it!

Oops, sorry about the HH one... It's here in black with 60% off...?

I don't think the temperley one is schoolgirlish, but I think you've got to find a dress you love...