Does grey hair always make you look older?

[acatcalledbob]

I have very grey hair (my hairdresser reckons close to 99%) but have it coloured dark brown. I'm a few years under 40 and (somehow) have very good, unlined skin. I've been colouring my hair for years and am tempted to just go grey but worried about looking older. Has anyone done this, what's the process and can you tell me how you feel about being totally grey?

I think it does.

My mum is one of those people that, at 66, looks remarkable. Until recently she was colouring her hair a light chocolate and having beige blonde streaks, and she'd have it done every 3 weeks. Everyone thought she was in her late 40's/early 50's. She has excellent skin and I hope I age half as well.

At the start of the year she decided to go grey as she will be retiring later this year and she didn't want the upkeep. She still looks great - there is no denying her excellent skin and lack of wrinkles etc - however, the first impression is now "old lady" - in a good way of course, she does still look great and she has adjusted her colours a bit and bought some funky pewter boots and everything, but she now is starting to look her age. Okay, she might now pass for mid to late 50's. But that well coloured hair that wasn't too dark and was broken up with highlights and done often was really keeping her looking younger than she even deserved!

It can look stunning if you go the right grey though. My mum has gone that lovely bluey grey, the silver thing that some people pay money for toners to get - she had jet black hair in her youth. It looks great, but she definitely looks older for it.

Yep. Most ageing thing in the world imo.

When I started my current job and met a colleague, because she has silver grey hair I instantly judged her to be 55ish, but she was in fact 41.

I'd say you should keep getting your hair coloured professionally, obv. as you age,a very dark brown can look fake, but highlights can work magic to blend in grey so there isn't that blocky, dyed look.

I'm the same as you and just turned 40. Personally I'm not going to think about this for at least another ten years because I think it does age younger people. If you have exceptionally good skin and bone structure you may get away with it I suppose. What I've done is lighten it. I had a lot of very dark dye which had to be chemically removed and then have had some highlights in which do break up the grey a bit when it starts to grow in so you can go slightly longer between colours.

It does, but I think part of the reason it makes you look older is that so many women now do dye their hair at the first sign of grey, so it's rare to see anyone in their 40s and 50s with grey hair. If the only people you ever see with grey hair actually are 'old ladies' then that just reinforces the impression.

Thinking about this myself as I'm getting increasing numbers of silver strands and undecided what to do - I really don't want the hassle of getting it coloured every few weeks for maybe the next 20+ years, but can't deny I feel self-conscious about it and as though I'm not ready to look 'old' :(

Thanks, you've confirmed what I was thinking and will book myself in to get my roots done

Two words.

Philip Schofield.