I have woken up from my winter sleep...

[Themumsnot]

to discover that I have been transformed into a bear. I have put on two stone and sprouted hair in funny places. My skin looks is blotchy, spotty and there is a blackhead on my cheek that will not shift. My hair appears to be made entirely out of straw. (Already posted asking about Moroccan oil, but I've realised my problems are way greater than that).
I need help - and fast.
The diet started Monday morning (lost three lb already!) and I started the oil cleansing method last night. But I need help.
How do I turn into a groomed summer person who can leave the house without fear and a large overcoat? What is a grooming routine and how do I get one? I feel like a big, fat, fugly frump.
Top tips would be gratefully received.

Me too, watching with interest.
Feel as if spring is round the corner and I will be left standing in my many grey layers.

Also watching with interest. I had DC2 five weeks ago & am 2 stone overweight (not as direct result I must add )

I'm currently living in leggings with tea/tunic dresses over but long to wear something different.

I've started having regular leg waxes again & started a diet last week though I don't think I've lost anything up to now.

I bought some gradual tan moisturiser today for my face & body & treat myself to a new MAC foundation at the weekend.

I need help - and fast - to get myself Spring ready!!

If you want to get there quick its going to take cash!

I'd book in for good cut and blow dry/colour (consider going shorter if necessary to get rid of split ends etc) , and an eyebrow wax (amazing the difference it makes). If your budget will stretch to it a manicure and pedicure too. A pedicure in particular makes such a difference and you can then keep on top if it yourself. Lovely hands and feet will lift your spirits I promise!
If not, buy some stuff from Boots to do it yourself. Keep a bottle of body moisturiser by your bed to apply to hands and feet every night

Start using a gradual daily tanning moisturiser as suggested above.

As well as cleanse , tone , moisturise each day use a scrub twice a week to keep skin soft. Again, if you are feeling flush a good deep cleansing facial will get you off to a good start.

Once youve got all these basics sorted it will only take 15 mins a day to keep on top of things.

Good luck : )

I'm tired just reading about this

Hmm, yes, the fact that I haven't had a haircut since November isn't really helping things. In my defence, at least I kept up with the Nice'n'Easy. And I do pluck my eyebrows. And my moustache. And my chin hairs. I have never been inside a beauty parlour (is that what they are called?) in my life, and frankly they scare me. So that will have to wait a while. Maybe a long while. I will have my hair cut and coloured though.
So
Hair cut
Defoliate
Exfoliate
Moisturise (I sometimes remember this)
Pedicure (should I get a Ped Egg?)
Manicure
Fake tan moisturiser stuff.
Moroccan oil
I can see I'm going to need a new bathroom cabinet.
What about make up? Do real women wear the stuff every day? Which bits?

I wear makeup almost everyday.

I moisturise, put on foundation, eyeliner, I use one lipstick (sparingly) to do cheeks, lips and brow highlighter. I get my eyelashes permed, so whether I wear mascara or not is not so crucial. I do if I have time!

I have the odd day off when I just slather on the moisturiser.

I have Clinique anti-redness foundation which I think is v good - I bought it in December and have used it approx four times. I should really just start using it every day. And mascara.
The thing about lipstick is it only lasts about two minutes. Do people really wear it every single day?
And eyeliner? It smudges. Or drips. Depending on which kind I got.
Also I bought a blusher once. For my wedding day. That was 1995. I still have the blusher. It is barely used.
I'm a bit rubbish at this.

Why dont you buy a tinted moisturiser which will double up as face cream/light foundation for daytime.

Buy a waterproof mascara and it will stay on all day.

Buy a lipgloss in a natural shade similar to your lips, it will help you look groomed and you can pop it in your bag when you go out to reapply. Once you get used to how nice it feels on you wont want to be without it.

Please consider getting your eyebrows waxed, it costs about a fiver and maked a MASSIVE difference to how groomed you look. IF you get it done and dont agree I will send you a fiver I promise! : )

I am wearing make-up today - and it looks nice!
Just foundation and mascara though.
Off in to Boots now for tinted moisturiser and lip gloss. Thanks Gillybobs. Will report back on my purchases!
Oh and I lost another lb this morning. 4lb in three days. Go me!, as my teenage daughter would say.
Zanzi and HAOD,do you want to join a mutual support thread to get ourselves sorted for summer?

Good for you, 4lb in 3 days is fantastic. remember to let us know how the shopping goes : )

Why not join our Project Princess thread? We are all trying to get groomed for summer.

I am back! I have lots of goodies!
Clinique have got a spring offer on - I bought superdefence moisturiser and a lip gloss and got a fab free gift - trial sizes of mascara, eyeshadow, lip gloss, moisturiser (youth surge) and facial wash. In a pretty tin! How fab!
Then I used my £5 No7 voucher on instance radiance concealer, self-tanning body lotion and tinted moisturiser.
Then I used my Boots points on argan oil and super-intensive hair mask stuff.
And then I looked very hard for bronze ballet shoes but couldn't find any.
So now I am ready to join project princess!

Impressive.

Now, dont forget to actually use some of it

Re shoes, have a look here

Yes I AM going to use them all. It is a new me, I promise you. I'll be unrecognisable by June!
Those La Redoute shoes were ideal, but none left in my size alas. Thank you though.