Help me know what to wear to an unusual and emotional wedding

[Northernlurker]

I'm going to my sister's wedding in a couple of weeks. It is a very, very small 'do' - dh and kids are not coming. The wedding is in the registry office and then meal afterwards at lovely gastro pub. The reason for all this is that my bil has been diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer. It's terminal.

Obviously the day is going to be hugely emotional and I don't need anything complex to think about. My sis is wearing trousers and a light coloured jacket with nice hair and flowers and special shoes

I have brand new wide black trousers which I was thinking about wearing with new black ankle boots (which I will need to find). I need a top and probably a scarf because for warmth I think I will need to wear my long black jacket. Obviously I don't want to look like I'm going to a funeral but I can't really buy a new coat as well The only other thing I have to wear is a navy pinstriped suit but I don't want to wear that as it is not all that warm, is very plain and the last time I saw my sis I was wearing it to attend our cousin's wife's funeral (yes - it has been an awful year!)

What do you think? What would you wear/

if you really don't feel like investing in something else, then make up with your top, scarf, a bright lipstick and a positive attitude

Do you have decent legs? Ditch the new top, get a tunic and some decent tights. Rather than ankle boots, a pair of mid-calf boots to match tunic and tights.

Has potential I think?

Chin-up!

I think your idea of the black outfit with a brightly coloured top and scarf would be fine.

If give us a couple of clues as to what you like / what suits you and maybe what your budget is, we'll see if we can find anything online for you.

No legs are not good

Budget for top and scarf - about £60 I guess. I am a size 22 and my buttonhole has been ordered in wedding colours of white and purple - quite bright purple - freesia.

Vesta - it's not that I don't feel like buying something. It's just that I'm short of time to do so - work all week and dh is away this Saturday and people coming round on Sunday. I also can't outdress the bride and anyway whatever I buy I'm always going to know why. It's all very hard. Does anybody know who stocks positive attitude?

I understand. I still believe you can dress up the black and don't look "funeral-y" at all, esp. since you can take the jacket off inside.

As to the positive attitude, sometimes it pays to fake a little, try to forget the "bitter" part and concentrate on the "sweet" one, it's a celebration of love, after all.

Hope you all will have a beautiful day and the weather will be on your side :)

How about these boots with this blouse and this or this scarf?

Take a look at MandCo - they are doing lots of purple at the moment and I get lots of positive comments on their plus-size range, always to seems to fit very flatteringly.

Here are their purple accessories.

But take a look at their tops too as they seem to have some discounts on at the moment.

BTW - have you thought about a chunky cardigan instead of a jacket? Might be cheaper and also easier to re-use in future?

I would try to minimise the black, to be honest - it is a sad situation of course but as you said you don't want to look too funeral-y.

Of course the black coat will be fine if you don't have another one - but I think I would try to avoid wearing black trousers too.

I'd try and go with some calf or knee boots, brightish tights, and a long jumper dress or similar.

I know how very hard it is to buy clothes for an event you feel so unhappy about, I had a real struggle buying funeral clothes when my friend died - I developed an absolute aversion to black, it was the last thing I wanted to wear.

In the end I wore dark grey and black, with dark green boots as I didn't have black shoes. it was a horrible time though and I couldn't find any positive attitude either. So I do understand where you are at.

what about a long cardigan instead of a coat?

it'll be cheaper and very warm, and you can get some lovely bright colours.

like this in red

this in brownish

this is lovely but out of your price range

this one looks more like a coat

sorry, i skipped over the buttonhole thing!

the last two would work in colour, though.

How about this - lovely purples and pinks - £35.

Lovely silk fuschia tunic from Monsoon - would look good with black trousers - £75

Very pretty in pink! Blush flower tunic

Are any of those even remotely in the right area?

I like nickelbangBANGbang's cardigan idea BTW.

Oh, that last one was £45 by the way.

What are your thoughts on full-on prints such as ...

Very 70s £35

Art Nouveau style £30

Purple paisley tunic £30

I've just looked in to wish you all the best. What a poignant wedding. I do hope it goes well.

Thank you all so much! I probably should have mentioned that I'm short so tunics can be tricky and a H cup bust so that things that go up to the neck and knitwear in general can be a bit errrrr problematic!

I just really appreciate you all looking and it's given me a lot of food for thought especially the prints. I'm flirting with looking for higher bots and a dress

I like this which has the purple in it. What do you think? Or maybe I should be brave and go for this

Oh and motherinferior - your message made me cry. Granted it doesn't take much atm. I wish it was tomorrow actually even without anything to wear. This evil thing is moving too fast for us I know why they call it malignancy.

Evans have some really mice yobs in purple. Lovedrobe.butterfly, knotted neck line top and paisley print.

If you search on tops then filter in purple?

Firstly - wishing you all the best for the wedding - what a dreadfully sad situation

Secondly, here are some suggestions

velvet top to go with your trousers

dress - their sizing is generous and 20% off at the moment

amethyst dress

How about this amethyst dress? £45

"Scoop Neck Cap Sleeve Pleated Dress"? Two left in size 22 online. Colour called Bright Magenta but looks amethyst-y to me. Also darker purple available.

www.marksandspencer.com/Scoop-Neck-Sleeve-Pleated-Dress/dp/B00458QARA?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_2&sr=1-2&qid=1289592220&pf_rd_r=0QKKJ6FS99XEHZZD3ADZ&pf_rd_m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&pf_rd_t=301&pf_rd_i=0&pf_rd_p=215485807&pf_rd_s=center-3

So sorry about the circumstances but hope the wedding day goes really well.

a jersey dress would be perfect - flattering to curves and smarter than a tunic and trousers i think

do you have shoes that would work? then you could use all your budget on the dress

The second Boden link hasn't worked btw. Was it one of these by any chance, I think they're nice

purple printed top

another nice purple printed shirt

They are nice but I find shirts a bit problematic with the bust. The link was for the wool dress that TRacey also linked to

The dress is lovely, really nice

Is there anything nice in Bravissimo that would work for you? Given that it specialises in big bosoms?

I have dress www.marksandspencer.com/Autograph-Weekend-Ruched-Drape-Jersey/dp/B0044AJ6UW?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_3&sr=1-3&qid=1289647180&pf_rd_r=105T13MRD6DQ5PE9G5H0&pf_rd_m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_i=72625031&pf_rd_p=215570647&pf_rd_s=related-items-3 in brown, and it is absolutely wonderful - I am definitely on for the purple. None in 22 but one in a 20 and their sizing is VERY generous...

motherinferior that's lovely too. M&S dress link