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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Support for Step-parents: Bedfordshire / Hertfordshire

16 replies

DimpleChin · 04/08/2009 19:42

Hi all - am hoping there may be others out there in a similar position to myself and my fiance (sorry, haven't got the hang of all the shorthand yet!). We're now both SP (is that right for step-parents?!) to each other's child, and it's v complicated. Anybody anywhere close geographically who might want to hook up / form a step-parenting group for support? (we live in Clifton, Bedfordshire which is near Hitchin, Letchworth, Stevenage, etc)? PLEASE do get in touch - a lifeline is needed!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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prettyfly1 · 04/08/2009 21:37

hey I am in hatfield and would be delighted to support this. long overdue

Original poster

DimpleChin · 05/08/2009 10:37

Hi Prettyfly, thanks for replying

The downside is that I can't drive (learning!), but can get to somewhere by bus for meeting up. Hope that if we give this thread a few days there may be some others who'll want to join in.

What's your situation?

OP posts:

Harimosmummy · 05/08/2009 21:39

Hi there,

I'm in Herts too.

I have 2 children (under 2years old) and am SM to 2 teenagers.

Original poster

DimpleChin · 05/08/2009 21:44

Hi there Harimosmummy

Whereabouts are you in Herts? What's your SM experience been like? My SD is only just 3 and my DS is almost 4, so a long way off the teenage years for both of them!

OP posts:

Harimosmummy · 07/08/2009 08:51

I'm near Hemel.

Have been with my DH for 10 years, so the kids were very little when we met.

For me, I love the kids... Don't much get on with the mother (have tried and tried but just don't bother anymore..)

For me, my DSDs are part of our lives in every aspect.. they just don't live here all the time.

Original poster

DimpleChin · 12/08/2009 13:20

Hi - sorry for late post, but been poorly.

Do you have any children of your own?

I find the hardest part of it is the difference between how my DH (well, fiance!) is with his DD and how he is with my DS. I love my DSD, not in exactly the same way as I love my DS but pretty close, whereas my DH doesn't really seem to have any love for my DS-he seems to find him annoying more than anything else. I find it very upsetting and is the cause of many rows! Maybe it's easier for me to bond with my DSD because I'm a woman? His ex (DSD's mother) is ok, usually really friendly but can be volatile so that's an added strain.

I find it all very stressful!

OP posts:

Harimosmummy · 12/09/2009 14:26

Hi!

Just saw this post!!

yes, I have two kids, DS is 15 months now and DD is 6 weeks old. My DSD1 is 14 and DSD2 is 11. They all get on well. They are all DH's so no difference from him. I think the age gap is actually quite helpful... no rivalry IYSWIM.

Relationship with DSDs mum is non existant. That is less stressful than having to deal with her!! haha!!

Original poster

DimpleChin · 16/09/2009 15:14

Hiya - good to hear back from you

I think my situation is proving hard for me because my DS is v nearly 4 and DSD is 3, so v close together in age and lots of rivalry - my DS in particular seems to get v distressed by the attention I give to DSD. On the plus side, thay are really close and love each other to bits - fighting and love, just like normal siblings!

You not having any relationship with your DH's ex must be great - if only that was the case for me! She's nice enough, but can be v thoughtless and insensitive which proves v trying at timres!

DC x

OP posts:

Harimosmummy · 17/09/2009 20:29

4 and 3!!! That must be tough!!!

How long have you guys been together? I've been with DH for over 10 years now and a step mum for a decade!!! so we're all pretty used to each other.

My DSDs are older now, so there isn't really much need for too much interaction plus it's a long time since the divorce so I suppose time is a bit of healer. Things used to be far more stressful than they now are!!

Where abouts are you in Herts?

Hm x

ElenorRigby · 04/01/2010 19:17

I have a lovely sister who lives in Herts.
I would love to meet up with you guys.
Hopefully my dear sister and her DH would be able to accommodate us. They are usually very welcoming

harimosmummy · 06/01/2010 19:14

I'm a;lways about - give me a shout if you are in the area!

ElenorRigby · 06/01/2010 19:22

Nice one! Will do

prettyfly1 · 07/01/2010 17:08

Hiya - I would be up for that as well - I am only about twenty minutes up the road from Haribo (st albans way) so would be delighted to put faces to names xx

harimosmummy · 07/01/2010 19:06

Hello Pretttfly!

Didn't realise you were so close.

I go to Harpenden every week....

harimosmummy · 07/01/2010 19:07

Dur.. You are in Hatfield, aren't you?

prettyfly1 · 07/01/2010 19:28

Hi there Yip - although its close enough to st albans to say there (for obvious reasons if you have been to hatfield I go to Harpenden all the time as well - small world!!!

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