'personal' questions for step-parent adoption court report

[divastrop]

dh is in the process of applying to adopt ds2.we have had a couple of visits from the SW who has to prepare a report,which went ok,and she is coming to see ds tomorrow.however,she sent us another questionairre to fill in asking dh all about his previous relationships,the names and DOB's of his parents and siblings,the views of our extended families on the adoption,and precise details of how dh and i got together.

i dont think he was expecting to be asked all this and says its none of their business(he cant remember any dates of anything,and hates talking about the past especially anything to do with his mother).he said he wants to adopt ds but cant see why all this stuff is relevent and wont answer such questions

i dont know what to do now.

it's important for the report to consider all factors in an adoption, he is after all going to father to ds2 and the authorities need to be sure. If it is aproblem for him look at why he wants to adopt is it so he can have pr in case of medical emergencies etc or so you all have the same name, if it is either of these things aske your social worker about parental responsibility agreement (Ds2 birth dad will have to be included and will share PR three ways) or changing name by deed poll.

one of the main reasons is ds hasnt had any contact with his birth father.xh was violent and abusive and has made no attempt to contact ds since i threw him out when ds was 4 months old.

dh has always said he loves ds as his own and already sees him as his son and wants to make it official.i tried explaining to him way back that they would ask lots of difficult questions and he told me i was being paranoid and that they would just want to know ds was safe and cared for.

im really upset now,i have told ds this woman is coming tomorrow.

Social worker will be understanding if he explains his concerns, have you checked out BAAF for information and support

no,what is BAAF?

he said he's going to ask her why this info is needed.he has already told her he hasnt had any contact with his mother since he was 8 and knows nothing about her,and has tried to explain to her many times that he cant remember dates.he says he only knows one of his sisters birthdays and thats because its the same as mine.

thanks for your help,BTW

Hi Divastrop!

How's it going? Did your DP manage to resolve the information issues?