Every little thing has to become about DSC

[Rory11]

By my husband... Every little thing I do has to be twisted and turned into what I've not done for DSC, what I'm doing wrong, how they might feel etc...

Today's was I recently got back off a holiday and got a very small token gift for DH (some food he likes) and a little teddy for our 1 year old son. But I didn't get anything for DSC who weren't even there.

I can't buy my own fucking kid a teddy without being questioned about it.

I think it was a bit mean not to get them a token tbh. I'm with your DH.

You've hit the nail on the head here. It's the paranoia and deepseeded guilt of the father that's keeping you from solidifying a nourishing relationship with your stepchild. The more ridiculous they are about this crap, the more it pushes you away or creates issues that didn't exist to begin with.
Its a self fullfilling prophecy, and it's not your fault.

It is not ridiculous. In the spirit of treating SC and your DC equally, you should have bought them something small too.

Did you just trawl through older threads on SP to find more SMs to villify?

This one is from May. It’s been dormant for more than 10 days.

It does not matter when it is from… i am not restricted to read or comment only on today’s posts… when i see there is a wrongdoing towards a child, i will say so

This is so far from "wrongdoing towards a child" it's be hilarious 🤣

Does “treating unequally”,” treating differently” sound better for you? It is annoying to see women to get into relationships with men with kids and then they can’t even pretend to treat these children equally as their own if they are a family unit. And then they complain on these forums whilst putting their own children ahead of their SCs. If you can’t accept someone’s children, go and find yourself a childless man?

Just to add, the same applies to unaccepting men who get into relationships with women with kids.

Many people believe that accepting someone's children and not treating them as your literal own children are not the same same thing.

It is very detrimental to these SCs psychological development. I would not expect anyone to feel love or the same kind of love towards SCs but if you cannot even pretend to treat them in the same way as your own, you should find a childless man instead and not damage these kids.

Actually what’s usually detrimental to their emotional development is usually the behaviour of the adults around them who take the animal farm line on SC - all children are equal but SC are more equal than others (poor kids).

Yuk - I absolutely hated the all kids are equal but nr children slightly more. What about my poor dc who had to live with the golden child 50% of the time and their development. Thank fuck they haven't been permanently damaged by my poor relationship decision to get with a man who developed dad guilt.

Well second families are less important. It’s pretty much overtly stated on that thread.

I’m really struggling with the ongoing first family children are most important thing even after splitting up. DS3 it appears must continue to sit in the shade of the golden children because their father just cannot consider his needs or even recognise that the ‘poor SC must be compensated for their broken family’ thing now applies to all his kids.

it seems DS3 was born into second class status and nothing will ever change that in his father’s mind.

Any examples you wish to share?

Not with you frankly!

So please stop your unevidenced rant them

erm…

you reactivated a thread to have an unevidenced go at an OP from last month.

I have plenty of evidence of my H being a totally useless bastard who has failed to treat his own children equally all of DS3’s life. Thanks. I get to deal with it in my actual life. I don’t need to share it to be dissected by sanctimonious SP trolls on MN.

Surely a child of that age should be encouraged to walk?

and if her father strongly believes she should be driven he should do it! It’s not womens work

Do you have stepchildren?