I don't want his ex at our wedding.

[malificent7]

We all get on really well but i don't want here there. I think it's because when we 1st got together he was too enmeshed even though she was living with another man (who she cheated on dp with). He admits he was scared of loosing dsd so he had to jeep things sweet.
Dsd will be 14 t the wedding and more than capable of holding her own. I want to have this 1 day on our terms.

Having to invite his toxic mother isn’t the same thing as having to invite a woman he used to be married to though, is it?

I think the actual SM point is that people think that, even on your wedding day, you should be further down your fiancé’s priority list than his child’s preferences and his need to stay on good terms with his ex. She isn’t that important even in the actual process of getting married.

It’s not being a bridezilla to expect your wedding day to be about you and the groom getting married. Finding a different way to meet the child’s need for company without having her mother there is not in the realms of insisting everyone wears green and pink polkadots.

@kirinm

Yes it is only poor step mums who are forced to invite certain people to their wedding that they may not want there. That doesn't happen to anyone else at all 🙄

Have you ever arranged a wedding?

Dodgy relatives are not comparable, only inviting former ex's would be, in particular one's who have made inappropriate passes at the groom during his relationship with the bride. And I would consider anyone who would insist or try and guilt trip their way to an invite in those circumstances unreasonable, whether their partner is a step parent or not.

a wedding is a day where the wish of the bride definitely trumps the wish of the (step) child.

Well you’d like to think so … !!

It's not about the step child in this case....she will be fine....its about dps lack of boundaries....but that is another thread.

@malificent7 this sounds really hard 💐I think this might be symptomatic of a wider problem that needs to be addressed before you legally tie to this man.

I say this gently and with kindness because a wedding sets the tone for the marriage. Have a chat with DH, I will say weddings and babies seem to case all fun types of worms out the wood work. Best to iron them out and put protections in place both financial and or otherwise so that you are protected. Also makes it harder for people to take the Micky if they know the boundaries up front.

Good luck !! Xx