I don't want dog from DH ex relationship

[67getago23]

DH has come home and asked if we can take on the dog from his ex which they got together because she is struggling with all her animals. Dh has two kids with his ex

We were looking at getting a dog together but I don't want a dog he shared in a home with the ex. I just don't. He thinks I'm being crazy and doesn't get why its a problem when we wanted a dog anyway.

But is it so wrong to want something that's not connected with the ex. I accept the kids , the arrangements, being in contact with the ex...

Surely I can have my own dog!!!!

Sorry to rant I'm just wondering if I am being silly or if step parents would feel similar.

So you are saying no to the dog that was his pet? How would you have felt if the dog stayed living with him after their relationship ended?

I don't blame you.

Would that mean you'd send the DSC's dog to the shelter? Don't worry we'll get you a new one?

You are being ridiculous. Get a grip

So she will get it rehomed and he won’t see it any more? Or the animals will suffer?
YABU and petty OP.

Yep you are being ridiculous.

I would say if you take the dog on then ownership is transferred etc.

So you'd rather the dog went to a shelter? I don't understand this at all.

Don't be so precious, it's a dog not a promise ring.

You sound unpleasantly territorial.

I actually understand you OP.

Though you are going to have to get a cat or some other animal that isn't a dog if you refuse to have this one.

Try and get your head around it, i think it would be great for the stepkids to still have the dog in their lives. Why is it a problem that he had the dog with his ex?

I think yabu.

I understand but I think you should take on this dog AND get a new dog too.

Is the expectation that you take the dog on but it's shared between them still? In that case, it would be a firm no from me too, OP.

What will happen to the dog if you don’t take it? I think you’re being a bit silly tbh, especially if you do want to get a dog it makes perfect sense

I think you need to try to cope with this. The dog, unlike the DH and step kids, won't have complicated emotions about mixing families. It's a dog, feed it, walk it, love it and it will love you. And think of all the time you didn't spend cleaning carpets while it was a puppy but now you get the good bit.

If you think it would make you feel bad to have her dog imagine how it would make her feel. And yet she's still willing to put the dog first.

Totally get where you’re coming from OP, you want a dog that is yours and his and has to connection to his ex, I get that. I wouldn’t take it on unless the ex was going to rehome it. If not, na, I’ll be getting my own dog thanks.

Well, if you’re happy to accept your DH as one of his ex’s cast offs, I can’t see that having the dog as well is that big a deal.

Take that dog and get another dog too, could be lovely.

I wouldn't want it either. Get a cat ASAP to avoid having to have dog.

YABU, big time. You don't understand dog ownership. Please don't get a dog at all.

Is this a reverse or something? You want to reject a dog because it was his pet with the ex? That’s just petty and weird.

I'd rather take on a dog that someone shared with their ex than children they'd had together ... Bum! Did I type that out loud? 😁 Only kidding but I think you'll have to forget about getting a dog if you've refused this one.

YANBU

I think this is a hard decision because you have a choice! With the kids you either chose to be with DH or not, there was no possibility of not having the kids. The thing is that dogs do become family so it is the kid's family. I'm not sure I could say no to that. I completely understand though. If you do say no you might have to get a different pet.

YABVU

It's a dog, not a meaningful memento of their relationship. Saying you need a dog that is yours smacks of treating it like an object.