A support cafe for any step mums out there!

[Bananasinpyjamas21]

If anyone wants it, and just wants to vent or get advice, feel free to post how you are getting on as a step mum. Summer holidays are coming up and this can be a tricky time for step mums.

I used to post on these boards a lot for advice, as I had a really difficult time as a step mum. I’ve got a much better perspective now. I know it’s hard for step kids too, and much of the problems lie with our husbands.

I had three DSDs who are now all in their 20s. We had one child together, and I have an older son. My marriage collapsed because of the stress, mainly due to one older DSDs resentment, his Exes resentment and DH not handling it well at all and blaming me for all. I made many mistakes, the biggest of which was moving into the ‘family home’. Never doing that again. I just remember how hard it was, so if anyone else is going through it… feel free to share.

@candlelightsatdawn thank you for your advice and recommendations.
I've never seen my dp with his kids or his ex so only have an impression from what he's told me. Their relationship broke apart almost over 7 years ago so from the kids' pov I'm hoping none of them are wishing for a reunion there! And our choices not to move in/marry will hopefully give them confidence that I'm not going to take over and rule the roost etc.
My experience with my ex has made me aware of the necessity of boundaries and we have taken these months to make sure we are as rock solid as possible before involving the kids/ex's. The likelihood is it may mean one meal/day out together every 2 weeks or so. Commitments won't really allow more than that.
My ex may end up being nc if it goes sour but currently he only has visitation to dc with me present for safety reasons, this is a personal agreement, not enforced by court etc. Ideally though I'd hope he could keep it going as it is as don't want the trauma of courts. I will look that book up too thank you.