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Step-parenting

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Original poster

This an insane plan isn't it? (NYE)

28 replies

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 11:01

WWYD... We just recently bought a house and though of hosting something for NYE. Although they'd stay for a week at the very least. There are a few things going on though:

Our families have never met (this would be the first time).

We don't know how to do the sleeping arrangements (2 moms, my sister, his brother and their partners).

My family has never met my SKs

My family only really speaks Spanish

There are two babies (my sister's and mine).

It seems like too much going on?

We originally thought it could be fun, but having second thoughts already.

We live 8 hours from his family, and my family would fly from Mexico and Switzerland.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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TwentyEight12 · 09/09/2019 12:01

I would think about staggering the stay between the families.

So, let’s say all your family arrive first and stay for 3 days. On day 4, all his family arrive. Both families are in the house together for 4 days from days 4-7, but on day 7, your family leave. His family continue to stay for a further 3 days from day 7- 10 and then they leave.

It is then fair and means everyone gets to meet each other but both families are not stuck with each other for the entire duration of the trip in case they do not get on. Everyone gets time alone and together with their respective family.

LillithsFamiliar · 09/09/2019 12:03

I think it depends how many rooms you have and what SKs are?

Herocomplex · 09/09/2019 12:04

I think you’re very brave if you do this. How many loos/bathrooms would be my main concern!!

I’d go for the staggered idea, with one day together. Have a great time!

PotteringAlong · 09/09/2019 12:05

How many people in total? 10?

TwentyEight12 · 09/09/2019 12:13

I would also suggest that your family members who only speak Spanish are advised to have Google translate or the equivalent loaded onto their phones, so that they can converse with the English speaking members or you will find yourself constantly translating. I am assuming you live in the UK and all members are flying to the UK to stay over NYE.

Apolloanddaphne · 09/09/2019 12:17

How many bedrooms do you have?

Knittedfairies · 09/09/2019 12:18

That sounds a very brave plan which could either work brilliantly.... or not. I think the staggered idea is best; NYE towards the end of their stay for one lot, the beginning for the other.
Your original proposal has all the potential of being a great film script though...

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 12:32

Total people under one roof would be:

2 grandmas, 4 (between siblings and partners) 1 baby = 7

Us = 6 (2 adults, 4 DC, 1 dog, 1 cat).

4 bedrooms one bathroom. One grandma would sleep in the nursery, the other one with the girls (or SS), BIL and partner in dining room and sister, husband and baby in lounge.

Just to add that my sister and her DH speak between them in German (he does speak English but with a very thick accent).

The main problem is that all DC (apart form the baby) only spend New year's week with us. So by splitting the week in two would mean both sides of the family would only get 4-3 days with their grandchildren / nieces /nephew.

OP posts:

readitandwept · 09/09/2019 12:55

I wouldn't. I think if it's your first new year in a new house, and especially the first new year with your joint baby, it would be nicer just to be with your partner and the kids.

Tableclothing · 09/09/2019 12:59

Family staying for a week? Fuck no.

TwentyEight12 · 09/09/2019 13:11

It might work as long as the one bathroom is not housing the only toilet in the house. It’s going to be very full on though...

I might be tempted to look at hiring out a bigger property to house everyone adequately if you need everyone to be under one roof for the entire duration OR hiring out another smaller property nearby to house all of your family or DPs.

It’s not cheap to hire out places over the Xmas/NYE season but if you plan on staying for a week at least and there are no other specs other than to be near-ish to an international airport, you may be able to pick your area freely rather than go to the expensive destinations.

Some campsites with log cabins are available to hire out over the festive period and this might be a cheaper option compared to a bricks and mortar rental property. It may also be a lot of fun. These cabins have electricity and some mod cons these days. It would be fun for the kids for sure.

managedmis · 09/09/2019 13:12

You're kidding?

Just no!

managedmis · 09/09/2019 13:13

I'd host one half of the family for Xmas, other half for NYE. If you insist on hosting, obviously

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 13:20

It's our first festive season so I'd rather spent it at our new home.

I think the middle ground would be for hosting grandmas and then siblings can look for their own accommodation.

We can't split Xmas /NYE because we only have our DC (apart from the baby) on the NYE week.

OP posts:

Herocomplex · 09/09/2019 13:39

Knittedfairies I would so watch this!

Sounds like it could be loads of fun. Im still worried about loos though. It’s becoming a big focus for me staying in other houses. I realise this is not an issue for everyone.

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 15:50

I think we'd have to have some booking system for the loo/shower. We haven't even asked if either wide would be ok with such a crazy idea.

OP posts:

Expressedways · 09/09/2019 15:56

Yeah if you had a big enough space then maybe but hosting the holidays with people sleeping in you living room and dining room (are they going to sleep under the table and move their stuff out every morning so you can use it for meals?!) and a booking system for the loo... FUCK NO. It’s a guaranteed way to ensure none of you are ok speaking terms by the end of the visit. Having the Grandmas to stay and siblings finding their own accommodation nearby sounds like a good compromise.

MadamePewter · 09/09/2019 15:58

It would be much better to pay for everyone to stay in a local hotel/b and b/ premier inn, or to rent a big property with more bathrooms. Host meals and so on at yours.

It sounds too stressful otherwise: imagine it's the day before it’s happening.. how are you feeling?! ..

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 16:31

They can pay their own accommodation! We'll provide food and booze. I like the idea of hosting the grandmas,that way nobody can get offended.

OP posts:

TwentyEight12 · 09/09/2019 17:02

I would let the family members currently living in Switzerland know this sooner or later so that they can book their flights. Goodness knows what will happen to the price of flights once we leave the EU, they may sky rocket. Plus they’ll also have to find £ for accommodation over here too... I think you need to give them as much notice as possible or else they may not be too pleased

tinyvulture · 09/09/2019 17:15

It sounds fun to me! But possibly I’m a bit mad too. I’m well in to the idea of big blended family events (but this may be because my own immediate family is tiny, and my parents and brother have gone NC with me, so I LOVE big family dos as they fill a lack in me). My current plan is to hire a house for Christmas for me, DP, my own DD, my DP’s four adult kids, whatever partners they have at the time (this is hard to predict - they chop and change a lot) but will def include the eldest’s wife and DP’s grandchild, and DP’s ex (the kids’ mum) and her girlfriend, if she has one at that time. That adds up to..... Well, I can’t even calculate it. I think it’s approximately 9 million people. I personally think this will be fantastic! So does DD - but she is only 7 and adores her step-siblings, and DP’s ex. But I haven’t told anyone else of my plan yet, in fear of being told it is total lunacy........

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 09/09/2019 17:46

Vulture that sounds like half a village!!
We originally invited his my MIL and BIL so in any case they should have priority.

My sister decided to invite herself over the festive period because her DH thinks the baby is too young for a transatlantic flight (6 months by then). My DM will come to visit the new baby in late November so it only makes sense that she would stay over and we have a massive get together!

OP posts:

Anuta77 · 09/09/2019 22:23

In my experience, people who don't speak the same language don't mix. People are shy to speak other languages and feel better speaking their own and/or with people they know.
Whenever we tried to organize parties even with friends who speak Spanish and those who speak French/English, there would be 2 groups speaking their own language. Might as well just organize 2 different events or if mixing people, then for a short time.
And only one bathroom? Very uncomfortable.

Original poster

Rainbowhairdontcare · 10/09/2019 09:05

The main advantage is that they'll all get to meet. With people spread everywhere it's very hard to just have "one hour meet ups".

The likelihood of this happening often is close to nil. So if they don't like each other it's not like they really have to see each other again apart from the baby's wedding/graduation.

OP posts:

Firefliess · 11/09/2019 18:19

I'd stagger them so they only overlap by one night. My sister and I do that when we go to my mum's over the Christmas season.

They'll get less time with the kids but the time they get will not be shared with so many other people. Your only other option is to put some of them up in a hotel or borrow a friend's house if you know someone who's going away and would let you. Anything else sounds like a nightmare!

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